


Pretty Reckless (A Negan Fanfic)

by Queso0317



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, Apocalypse, Dom Negan (Walking Dead), Drugs, Explicit Language, Love/Hate, Negan (Walking Dead) Being an Asshole, Negan (Walking Dead) Swears, Negan Being Negan (Walking Dead), Rage, Sexy Negan (Walking Dead), Slow Burn, Top Negan (Walking Dead), Violence, Zombie Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-23 11:37:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 58,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13189269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queso0317/pseuds/Queso0317
Summary: Dax is a feisty, hot-tempered singer in Alexandria who plays for the community with her band once a week. One day a group of people from her community come back to Alexandria with talk of a group of men called The Saviors and how their leader brutally murdered two members from their group and kidnapped Daryl. Dax is shaken by it all but just wants to move on with her routine life at Alexandria until The leader of The Saviors stumbles in on band practice one day....





	1. I've Seen Better Days

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so this is my first story on here. I decided to go with a Negan story because right now he is my favorite character on The Walking Dead and I feel like he is the most misunderstood. Plus he just excites me in more ways than one lol ;) As for this story, it's kinda whatever I want it to be and will probably end up being a slow burn so just hang in there! I will try to keep it going, I am a writer who is fueled to write more by comments and kudos so keep them coming! Ohh and because my character is a singer I am going to be pulling random songs throughout this series which I will give credit to in the end note. I am not so good with song lyrics and there are a few songs out there that I feel will tie into this story. I may even leave the songs blank every now and then and just you guys fill in the blanks :) ok I'll shut up now, I hope someone out there likes this attempt of a story!

Dax was Performing In the church with her band the night after Ricks group came back from their first run in with Negan and the Saviors. Rick tried to talk them out of playing that night with what their community had just been through but Dax insisted on playing anyway to help elevate the mood and maybe take people's minds off of it. Her and her band stuck to her typical hard rock and peppier tunes over the draggy emotional stuff to avoid any triggers. Even though she could be a hard ass at times, she could see what everyone was going through and this was the only way she knew how to help. She was surprised that almost everyone in the community was present, including Rick, considering he was the one that fought her on it. 

The band was giving this performance their all, for the people of Alexandria and to honor those that had fallen at the wrath of the Saviors. Dax was the one with the original idea to have these nights. In the past, every Monday night everyone who had special talents to show off would come to the church to perform. Dax liked to call this the kick back night because it was the one night a week where everyone left their troubles at the door and just came to get their mind off of everything and what the zombie apocalypse entails. Whether you lost a loved, were afraid of the future, or were dealing with stresses of keeping the community going, this was the place to let it all go and forget about it for the time being. This was the place that reminded everyone what life used to be like and temporarily took them back there. 

They were halfway through their last song. Dax had sweat droplets pouring down the sides of her face as she wailed into the mike while hammering on her guitar. Lacey, the bands back up vocalist was singing next to her in the same mike while clapping her hands to the beat. This is what Dax lived for. Deanna was the one who originally helped her put her idea through and together they launched it and made it a community event. After Deanna passed, Dax's band was the only one who continued to perform. No one else had the heart to take the stage again but this was something Dax could never give up and she kept playing in Deanna's memory. Deanna's passing was very hard on Dax, she was the closest thing Dax had ever had to a mother. When Dax first came to Alexandria, it was just her, Kevin, and Quinn, two of her other band members. They had all lost their families and were scared, hungry, and very sleep deprived. It took Dax a very long time to come out of her shell and learn to trust the people of Alexandria, but Deanna was the one encouraged her. That is kind of how kick back night started. Deanna wanted to start Dax off in the community with something that she was good at, and all Dax was good for at the time was playing music and tending to a bar. As time went by, Dax and Deanna's bond grew and so did her relationship with the community to the point where her and her band became local celebrities. people were always coming up to them and thanking them and praising how good they sounded. They would even take song requests from the residents. It was not long after that the place really started feeling like home. 

A couple of years after Dax and her small group arrived, Rick's group stumbled into Alexandria and the rest is pretty much history from there. Dax was always leary around Rick, his forceful personality and the way he talked about the rest of Alexandria in the beginning greatly off-set her. Deanna would coax her to stay away from him and to not get involved, knowing how bad her temper could get. Out of respect for Deanna, Dax did as she was told and only interacted with him on a need to know basis. Before Deanna passed, Dax used to have quite the involvement in the community. She would sit in during meetings and helped brainstorm ideas to help make the community better. When Rick took over, that all came to a screeching halt to her. Not because he shut her out but because she no longer wanted anything to do with it. It was hard on her seeing Rick take Deanna's place and she secretly resented him for it. She did get along with a few others from his group. Her and Maggie often did Chores together and often talked but never really hung out. She would often bum cigs from Daryl and sit with him. Though he was more of the strong silent type she still enjoyed being in his company, probably because he was so quiet. Occasionally during practices, Carl would come and sit in to listen to them, and they would all talk and hang out together in the church even after they were done, until Father Gabriel kicked them out. As for the others, she just stayed away from them. 

Tonight when the band was playing, Dax noticed a few toe tappers and people nodding their heads to the beat. A few that knew the words were even lip singing with her. It wasn't the usual excitement that they were known to generate, but it was something after what everyone had been through. Even though it wasn't much, Dax still felt like she accomplished her mission. After they were done performing their last song, Everyone clapped while Dax took a dramatic bow, flinging her long curly blonde hair forward over her face and straight up in the air over her head. She took her place back in front of the mike and grabbed it to bring it closer to her. "I just want to give a big thank you to everyone who came out tonight despite everything that's been going on. I know this is scary shit but we will get through it and come out stronger like we always have. Tonight's performance is dedicated to those who lost their lives last night, may god rest their souls and may their deaths not go in vane. Thank you everyone, goodnight". After Dax's speech, everyone began to slowly shuffle out of the church. Dax put her mike back on the stand and turned around to have a few words with the band and to praise everyone's performance.

As people were leaving, Rick emerged from the back of the church and made his way to the front of the stage. Dax had her back turned to him while she talked to her band, Kevin noticed Rick standing behind Dax and he nodded his head for Dax to turn around. When she saw it was Rick she narrowed her eyes slightly and stared at him. "Hey, can I have a moment to talk to you?' He asked politely. Dax turned back to the band and told them they were good to go. "Hey, we will wait outside for you...ok?" Kevin said in a low voice giving her a little smile. "Ok thanks" Dax replied returning the smile. After her fellow band members left she sat down on the edge of the stage in front of Rick. "Whats up?" She asked, blowing a piece of hair out of her face and raising her eyebrows. "I just wanted to say thank you for tonight's show, I think it really helped put people at ease over what has been going on, you guys were amazing tonight". "Yeah....and?" she asked with a stone face, knowing that he couldn't possibly pull her aside just to thank her.

Rick took a deep breath. "I don't want you to get upset but I think we are going to need to take a break from kick back for a while, until we can get everything under control with the Saviors, I'm going to need everyone to be focused and on guard in case the Saviors try to plan a surprise attack". Dax heard tires screeching in her head. Her face twisted into a dark and sinister expression and she was about to fire off on him. How dare he take away the only thing that is keeping her sane here. She was feeling hot from being so angry and she heard Deanna's voice in her head. "Count to 5, breathe, regroup". For some reason, those words always seemed to help her. She did just that and her expression turned from angry to blank. "No". She got back up on stage and started packing up her guitar. Rick jumped on stage to follow her around. "Look, I get what you're trying to do here. I know you are doing this to try to boost the morale but if an attack or something happens during these events we will all be screwed. No one will be able to hear anything and we will all be in the same spot" Rick preached, trying to reason with her. 

"Then have some of YOUR people stand gaurd, round up people to watch the perimeter, have them take turns, I don't care but you are NOT taking this away from us to" She said, getting in his face at the last part. "I know that you blame me for everything that went wrong here, I can see it in your eyes when you look at me and I understand your point of view but you have to realize I'm just trying to do what is right for everyone". Dax huffed at his response. She was so mad that he was trying to take this away from not just her, but the community. He was destroying everything that Alexandria used to be and she had about had enough of it all. "Let me tell you something" Dax started, still in his face. "Before you came here, we never had to worry about other communities, or the saviors, or whatever other hell that happened after you got here, Everything that happened with the saviors, that's on YOU! Not any one else. The Saviors did NOTHING to our community and you went and slaughtered a whole outpost of their people for what? All because of the word of another group? It was stupid, and I'm not saying I'm happy your people are dead, but you brought it upon yourselves!"

Dax was panting out of rage and frustration as she ripped into Rick. She felt like she was getting out a lot of pent up frustration towards him that she's been feeling since the moment he got here. Rick stared at her with a neutral expression but didn't say anything. Dax straightened up and got a grip on herself. "I am not going to let you take away the one outlet that these people have from all of this shit you created. Have your people watch the perimeter" She said finally and she hopped off the stage with her guitar case on her back. She thought of popping him the middle finger on her way out but then thought against it. 

"Hey how did it go" Kevin said meeting her out the doors. Quinn and Lacey Were waiting next to him as well. Dax huffed. "Ugh! can you believe him?! He wants to cancel kick back night because hes worried that the saviors are going to plan a surprise attack on us". "What? No!" They all exclaimed. "What did you say" Quinn asked. "I told him to fuck off, there is no way we are canceling kick back, after all the shit that goes around here, this is the only normalcy that these people have. I told him that if he is so concerned about the Saviors planning an attack, then his people can stand around and keep watch, hes not going to take this from us" Dax said as they all were walking back to her house. "Hes probably just trying to control things, hes not going to be happy till this place is run like an army base" Kevin said. "I mean I know hes trying to keep everyone safe, but this is the only thing we have left" Lacey Chimed in. "Don't worry guys, I'm pretty sure he understands the answer is no" Dax said confidently. 

They were beginning to approach the stairs of their house. They all used to stay with Deanna, but since she died, Spencer took over the house and kicked them all out so they took up shelter in a house down the road. As they piled in the house they threw their stuff down on the counter and took their spots in the living room. Quinn went up to his room and a few moments later he came back down holding a small wooden box. As he took a seat in a recliner he pulled out a joint, lit it up, and started passing it around as they all chatted about their days and good times. Lacey went over to the stereo and put on a CD. This was Dax's favorite night. Every night after they would play, they would come back to the house and have an after party of their own. They would get high, drink, laugh, dance...like everything was OK in the world.

"Alright guys I'm going up, I'll catch you all later" Dax said as she took another hit off of the joint and made her way upstairs. After they all said good night she grabbed her guitar and went to her room. She turned on her light and closed the door, shrugging her case off of her shoulder and placing it on the bed. She opened a small bottle of Jack Daniels out of her night stand and took a swing of it. She put it back, grabbed her guitar out of her case and carefully crawled out her window with it.

She climbed to her secret spot on the roof, or at least she liked to think it was her 'secret' spot and gazed out over Alexandria. It was always funny to her how quiet and reserved it seemed at night, compared to the chaos of things that went on during the day. She lit up a cig and took a few puffs and stared out to her community in deep thought. 'Maybe Rick is right' She thought to herself. 'Maybe it would be wise to quit kick back for a while.' The more she thought about it in her calmed down state, the more she realized that she was really holding onto more so for herself. She had always loved to perform, her dad always told her that some day shes is going to be walking among the big rockers, she had so much talent and she was so confident on stage. For the longest time, she thought she would never be able to take the stage again and perform, then they found Alexandria and when Deanna let her coordinate kick back night, she felt like she had something to live for again. And maybe she could make other people's lives worth living in the process. She was also worried that if they stopped it, even for a little while...it would never happen again and that would be the end of it. 

She shrugged, put out her cigarette, and pulled her guitar on her lap. She began to play a slow, almost dreary song. Something mellow that helped her express her situation. Doing this helped her unwind. She used this time at night to play just for her, to help sort out her thoughts and worries from the day. She softly sang a tune as she strummed her guitar. Not her usual raspy edgy voice that she used on stage, but softer and more gentle, a voice that was just for her. She continued to make her personal music and she thought about the Saviors, and Rick, and the future of their community. She remembered Rick talking about the leader of the Saviors. Nathan? Nicky?...Negan...that's what his name was...She wondered if he was as bad as they said. He must be some kind of force to be reckoned with, considering that he was able to get Rick and the community to provide supplies for him. Little did she know that she was going to meet the man himself the next day......


	2. The Devil's knocking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dax learns what Negan is all about.

Dax awoke the next morning feeling tired and groggy. She went to bed so late last night, she didn't even bother changing into PJ's or taking a shower. Slowly getting up and stretching while dramatically letting out groans and squeeks, she shuffled her way to her mirror. "Ugh" she muttered as she looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her heavy eye make-up was smudged and her hair was all over the place. "Fuck it" she said as she moved her face closer to the mirror to clean up her eye make-up with her fingers and spit. She re-applied more eye liner and shadow to re darken the areas that her sleep deluded. Once she was satisfied with her 'war paint' as Kevin liked to call it, she ran a little serum through her long curly blond locks and gave her head a little shake. "Perfect" she said when she was done. She changed out of her clothes from the night before and put on new underwear along with a black cut off tank top, green cargo pants and her black boots. For the hell of it, she even threw on her bangles on both wrists. She gave one final look in the mirror, nodded, and then made her way down stairs where she heard the others were already up and about. 

"Good morning sleeping beauty" Kevin greeted her as she approached. She just looked at him and gave him a little glare and a groan as she made her way in the kitchen. Quinn was making oatmeal and Lacey was on the couch sipping her coffee. "Already got you a cup right here, black like your soul, just the way you like it" Kevin said handing her a mug. Dax took a sip, savored it for a second, and gave Kevin and smile. "Thank you" She said as she went grab a bowl of oat meal and took her place at the kitchen table where the rest of the crew came to join her. The boys and Lacey boasted about their night over their breakfast while Dax grunted and chuckled every now and then, still not fully awake. Every now and then Kevin would catch her eye and give her a smile. "Ok" Dax said finishing up her coffee. "I think today at practice I want to work on set five and six, we did OK on them last night but I really feel like we could harmonize a little more after the drum solo on five and on six I think the chorus is sounding a little rough". "Maybe we could try slowing the tempo down just a bit, even just for now until we get the hang of it" Kevin responded. "Yeah we can try that, and Lacey, I want to to work on trying to open your voice a bit more for those high notes, you did well last night but you sounded just a bit flat" Dax addressed. Lacey nodded, looking a little surprised, not realizing that she was doing that. "You know I was thinking" Quins deep voice pulling Dax's attention. "Maybe when you are not on guitar you can dance a little, you know move around or something instead of just being stationary". Dax though about it for a moment. "Yeah I guess it is a little weird that I don't move much, I'll try to incorporate some moves into today's practice and see how I feel." "I think that's an awesome idea! You could totally like pull an Elvis and start shaking your hips and do a little shimmy back and forth like this" Kevin joked as he was getting up to do a hilarious demonstration that sent all of them in a fit of giggles. 

As they finished their morning routine, they talked and brain stormed more ideas to tweak their sound and performance. When they were done they grabbed all of their stuff and started heading to the church. They were walking in a line talking amongst themselves and Dax stopped when Carl started to walk up to them. Dax's smile slowly faded from her face when she saw the look Carl was giving them. He definitely looked shook up as he made his way over to them. "Carl, whats wro-" she started to ask. "Negans here" Carl said grimly. There was a brief moment of silence while everyone registered just what that meant and Dax's mouth fell. "What?" Kevin stammered out. "He came early, hes with my dad by the gates, I wanted to come warn you". Dax held her shocked expression while she moved backwards to peek around the house to see if she could see him and there he was.

At the end of the block about five or six houses down, Rick and Negan were walking down the road with what she assumed were the other Saviors. "Holy shit" was all she could stammer out. She drank in his appearance. He was very tall with dark slicked back hair. He sported a leather jacket, grey jeans and Black boots. He had a big devilish smile on his face that showed off a mouth of perfect pearly white teeth. He could have passed for the devil himself and Dax could hear her heart hammering in her chest. Not much in this world scared her now a days but the look of him sent chills down her spine. The Saviors even looked intimidating. Rick was at his side, holding his barbed wire bat and looking mentally beaten to shit over his presence. Dax noticed he lost his hardened authoritative look in his eyes and this was the first time she has seen the look of fear and dread. 

Dax stomped back over to her friends. "Maybe Father Gabriel will let us use the church tomorrow, maybe now is not a good time to practice with him here" Lacey reasoned. Dax looked at the rest of her group. They were looking to her for an answer. She doubted that she would be able to reschedule practice. Father Gabriel was like a dog with a bone over that church and he often expressed how he disliked them using it for practice. In his eyes, the church was a place or worship and should be treated as such. It was the only place that was some what sound proof and had enough room for them to play. They made a deal that they could have the church from the morning to late afternoon as long as they all attended at least one service a week. 

Dax sighed. "Fuck him" she said. "Fuck him and his stupid intimidation tactics, he don't scare me. If I'm not going to let Rick take this away from us then I'm sure as hell not going to let him waltz in here and take the one thing still good about this place, lets go!" Dax ordered and she stomped over to the church. Carl matched her stride while the others trailed behind. "I'm not trying to tell you what to do but just please, be careful, you don't know what he's capable of" Carl warned. "It's OK, we got this" Dax tried to assure him giving him a wink. Carl left them to their practice to keep an eye the Saviors as they raided the houses. 

Dax and her crew took the stage and started setting up their gear to get ready to play. Once they went through their sound checks Dax went over what the plan was. "Alright, let's stop at the top of the fifth and do a clean run through it and then we will break it off into sections ok?". Every one nodded and took their positions. Quinn started hammering on the drums to get a beat going. As Dax waited for the music to que her in she began to let her worries slide. Every time she took that stage it was like nothing in the world mattered, it was her sanctuary. Dax quickly cleared her throat and began to sing. 

Jimmy's in the back with a pocket of high  
If you listen close  
You can hear him cry  
Oh oh, heaven knows  
We belong way down below  
Sing it

Then her and her band started to sing the chorus. When it finished Quinn kept his slow steady beat on the drums while Kevin lightly added guitar strings. Little did they realize, Negan was standing right outside the church gates. 

Negan was walking with Rick, basically telling him the low down of everything and how it's going to be. Lazily strolling down the pavement, something caught his attention and he stopped, making Rick stop with him. "What is..." he began and really started to listen. Somewhere in the distance he heard a feint hammer of drums and something that sounded like...music? When he realized it was music his confused expression turned into a shit eating grin. "No fuckin' way! You guys have a band to! That is cool as shit! Damn Ricky boy, you guys fuckin' have it all here don't ya" He said directing his smile to Rick and clapping a hand to his back. Rick didn't answer but just looked at him in fear. Rick really didn't want Dax and Negan to meet, he knew how bad Dax's temper could get and he didn't want her to do or say something that would make them all pay. "Well how 'bout we go check it out" Negan said smiling at Rick. "Lead the way" he said moving his arms in a gesture. Rick had an even worse feeling of dread in his stomach then when Negan first arrived. 

Dax was singing on the mike getting into the song with the rest of her band. Since she was not on guitar she figured now would be a good time to practice the advice that Quinn gave her. She unhitched her mike from the stand and moved closer to the front of the stage to move her body to the music. She crouched a little and closed her eyes to wail a long note, bobbing her upper body to the music. When she opened her eyes she almost dropped the mike. There he stood in all his righteousness staring at her with an intrigued look. Dax's eyes went wide at first and she could hear her band start to slow down to stop playing at his presence. Her eyes stayed glued to Negans for a moment, completly caught up in his gaze. She tore her eyes from his and they landed on Rick who was standing a few strides behind him. Rick was looking at her and shaking his head back and forth, trying to encourage her not to do something stupid. Her eyes shifted back to Negans who's grin grew a little wider as her band stopped performing. 'Fuck him' she thought as she gave him a smirk and started to sing again. 

Judy's in the front seat picking up trash  
Living on the dough  
Gotta make that cash

With that she turned to her band members and signaled for them to start playing again. They all threw her an unsure look and gave side glances at each other before they resumed their beat. 

Won't be pretty  
Won't be sweet  
She's just in here on her feet

Dax continued on, treating the situation as if Negan wasn't even there. She was damn determined to not let anyone ruin this for her. She danced and bobbed while she sung, turning this practice session into a performance as if she were trying to prove something. And she was. She was trying to show him that he did not scare her though deep deep inside where she would never admit, she was shaking in her boots. She and her band continued on. 

Sing it  
Oh oh, heaven knows  
We belong way down below  
Go  
Oh oh, heaven knows  
We belong way down below  
Sing  
Tell her so  
We belong way down below  
Oh oh, tell her so  
We belong way down below  
Way down below, way down below  
Way down below, way down below

The whole time she was singing, he stood there watching her. He was intrigued alright. He was so used to people scrambling to get as far away from him whenever he visited these compounds and the way she was not backing down from the sight of him made take an interest in her. She was a bad ass, and he liked that. The way he stood there was pissing Dax off. 'How dare he' she thought. after all the shit he just put her community though, hes really going to stand there and gawk at her like some groupie. 'Oh no' Dax thought, getting more angry. She was not going to let him intimidate her like the rest. For the next set of lyrics she jumped off the stage, her boots hitting the floor with a boom. She walked right up to him and sang the next set of lyrics, getting in his face and looking him up and down like the piece of trash she wanted him to feel like. 

One, two, three and four  
The devil's knocking at your door  
Caught in the eye of a dead man's lie  
Start your life with your head held high

She began to circle him, doing her best to stay in his personal space. 

Now you're on your knees  
With your head hung low  
Big man tells you where to go  
Tell 'em it's good  
Tell 'em okay  
Don't do a goddamn thing they say

She was standing in front of him again, giving him her best scowl she could and yelled the last line in his face. She held his gaze for a moment as her band continued on with the chorus. He moved his head back, giving her a smirk and looking at her through hooded eyes. He thought this whole act was adorable coming from her. Dax resumed singing the chorus while walking backwards to the stage, still locking her glaring eyes on his. She finished the song and continued to give an all out performance. When she finished her last notes she attached the mike back to the stand, still panting a little. Negan started to do a slow clap which irritated her more. That stupid grin never left his face and she just continued to give him the nastiest look she could muster up.

"Well well well, that was quite a fuckin' show there" Negan started as he took a few steps closer to the stage. Dax blew a piece of her long hair out of her face. "You guys can Rroocckk! Damn Ricky, you've been holding out on me" Negan said glancing back at Rick who looked at the floor. "This is a closed rehearsal so you and your band wagon of degenerates are going to have to leave" Dax said firmly, looking down at him from the stage. Negan chuckled which infuriated her more. "No can do darling, seeing as how I practically own this mother fucking place now, I reckon' I can be where ever the hell I want". Dax glared at him. "So, Rick" he said turning to him. "Why don't you introduce me to this pretty little tangled mess of hair so we can get better acquainted" he said while giving her a wink. Rick came forward. "Look, there is nothing here of value to you, let's just go and I'll show you the invent-" Rick started but was cut off by Negans hand. "No no no, I think I've found something of plenty fucking value and I will leave when I'm God damned ready to". He looked back over to Dax. "Why Don't you come down here sweetheart and tell me your name" Negan motioned to her. "It's Dax" She said as she hopped off the stage to come and stand in front of him. "And I'm assuming you're Negan?" She said giving him an up and down look. "Right you are sweetheart, I hope my reputation upholds me" he boasted. Dax Scoffed and rolled her eyes. Rick was beginning to get more nervous then he already was. 

"So Dax" Negan started. "Where the fuck did you get a name like that from?". "It's short for daiquiri, anything else you would like to know?" her voice dripping with attitude. "Daiquiri huh, sounds like a fucking stripper name if you ask me" Negan said laughing. She heard the rest of the saviors stifle a laugh behind him which made her blood boil. Before she could even think of a response and pulled her fist back and punched him right square in the jaw. Rick was immediately at her side, grabbing her in a bear hug as she tried to continue attacking him. Trying to pull out of his grasp, she felt like a Pitt Bull that just tasted blood for the first time, she was in a frenzy. The rest of the band members were off the stage and standing next to them. Negan grabbed his jaw and flexed at a bit and blinked. "Wow, you sure know how to pack a punch doll, you hit harder than your boy Daryl, he could use a lesson or two from you" he said standing straight up now. "I'm sorry, she has a temper, it won't happen again, please don't hurt her" Rick tried to reason, still holding Dax against his chest who was squirming to get another hit in. "Ohh now don't worry Rick, like I said, the first one is free" Negan said. He pulled up his hand and motioned for the rest of the saviors to come forward. In an instant they were surrounded with guns pointed at them from every angle. Rick slowly let go of dax while he and the rest of the band put their hands up and kneeled. Dax stood standing, giving him a sinister look while panting. Negan nodded to one of his Saviors and they came next to Dax, kicking the back of her legs they dropped her to the ground and held her there. Negan casually strolled over to where she was knelt, reached down and roughly grabbed her chin so they were practically nose to nose. "Now look here sweetheart, I know I'm still pretty new on the scene here so let me explain how this is going to go. I fucking own you. I own all of your shit. I own this whole God Damn place. I am NOT the one to make enemies with here, trust me baby doll, you do NOT want to cross me. Now I am not one of those slimy cowards that takes pleasure on beating up women but if you dare to try that shit again, mark my words, there are things so much worse I could do. Do I fucking make myself clear?" Negan said, enunciating the last part through clenched teeth. He no longer wore his usual cheeky smile but a dark malicious expression that screamed 'Don't fuck with me'. Dax glared back. She took a moment to think of what to say before she finally stammered out "Go. Fuck. Yourself". Negan sighed. He looked at her with his expression twisting into something angry and frightening, and then his expression softened back to the Cheshire cat grin that annoyed her so much. he shook his head a little and whispered "Damn baby, you are going to be SO much fun to break". Dax responded by pulling her head out of his grasp and biting down on his glove. Negan pulled away before she could latch on. "Jesus Christ, you are some kind of crazy girl" he said standing back up and chuckling. Dax and her friends were still on the ground as he began to walk out, with Rick being forced to follow behind him with the rest of the Saviors. Negan stopped mid way and looked at the ceiling as if he pondered in thought. He sighed said "Shoot one of them" before he continued to walk out. Before Dax or anyone could try to plead or say anything the shot rang out so loud it echoed the whole building. Dax heard a shrill noise and she realized it was Lacey screaming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song credit goes to The Pretty Reckless: Heaven Knows


	3. Carry on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dax deals with the after math of the Saviors.

She had played it all wrong. She thought all his intimidation tactics were just for show but she was wrong. She now realized that he truly was a force to be reckoned with and wasn't just dry threats like she was sure of. Awful was an understatement for how she felt knowing this all could have been avoided if she just played by the rules. As much as she didn't want to admit it, Rick was right. If she had just listened to him none of this would have happened, this was all on her.

So she sat on the front steps of Ricks house, still too guilty to go inside. The saviors were long gone and she dreaded their return. The Black lines ran down her face were now crusted to her cheeks from her tears and make-up. She heard the screen door open up and the hard steps of boots on the wooden floor. Rick came and sat down next to her with no words. He stared at her and she just stared blankly out into the community, not ready to meet his gaze yet. Rick Sighed. "He's ok, we were able to stop the bleeding and the bullet didn't hit anything major, we were able to patch him up, Kevin will be fine". Instantly tears of relief ran down her face. She put her head down in her hands and just cried. Rick scooted closer to her and put his arm around her back to comfort her. For a few moments they stayed like this and once she got it all out of her system she wiped her eyes and turned to rick. "I'm so sorry, I should have listened to your warnings. I know I wasn't there but I just got so angry over all of this, I didn't think he was going to hurt anyone else". Rick shifts towards her so he was now facing her. "Now you see how he is, now you know that he is dangerous, just try to stay away from him, we got lucky with Kevin but next time we might not be so lucky". "I know, I'm just so sorry" Dax started to cry again. Rick hugged her and rubbed her shoulder and told her it was going to be OK. She wasn't too sure if she believed him.

Dax pulled away and dried her eyes. "Can I go see him?" She asked. "Yeah, of course, come on" Rick said getting up and pulling Dax to her feet. She nervously trailed in the house behind him. Dax stayed close behind Rick as he led her to where Kevin was. When they stepped into the room she practically hid behind him. She caught a glimpse of Lacey and Quinn, they looked up at her and gave her a weak smile. "Someone is here to see you" Rick said to Kevin with a little smile curving at the edge of his lips. He moved to the side and Dax finally got to get a good look at Kevin. He was laying in the full size bed. He seemed to be his usual self, judging by the smile on his face it looked like they were all just sharing a joke before she walked it. His shoulder was bandaged up and they managed to find a sling to put his arm in. 

"Hey there, how you doing?" Kevin asked her, giving her a smile. Dax started to breathe heavy and began to cry again. "Oh my god Kevin I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for any of this to happen, this is all on me, it's my fault, I'm just so sorry!". "Maybe we should give them a minute" Rick said, looking at Lacey and Quinn. They both agreed and they walked out the door, leaving Dax and Kevin to talk. Dax walked over and took Laceys chair, her wide eyes never leaving Kevin. "Hey it's alright, they say I will be fine. I just wont be able to play for a while and though that does suck, I'll be ok" Kevin said grabbing her hand and squeezing it. She gave him a weak smile. "I'm just so sorry" She kept saying. "I didn't think he was going to do something like that, I thought if anything he would just rough me up a bit...I guess he was right when he said he could do worse to me". "Well it's ok, if it makes you feel any better, you have the rest of our lives to make it up to me" He said giving her hand another squeeze and stroking the top of it with his thumb. "Besides, it may have been worth it just to see the look on his face when you told him to fuck off". Dax's eyes crinkled up to a smile and they both laughed. She couldn't be more relived that her friend was OK and they were laughing together. At this moment that was a blessing in itself. 

The rest of the week dragged on and Dax pretty much devoted all of her time to helping Kevin. They moved him back to their house and she was pretty much at his beckon call 24/7. Even though Kevin said a million times that he was not mad at her, she still felt responsible for what happened and was still trying to make it right. He was starting to do much better. He was up walking around and doing little things for himself like using the bathroom and eating. Dressing himself took a little work and even though he fought her, Dax still tried to help. "How many times do I have to tell you woman! I'm OK, I got this" Kevin would whine to her. "I know, I'm just here for moral support" She said giving him a sweet smile while standing in the doorway. "Ok but could you maybe turn around while you give your moral support so maybe I can have a little privacy?". Dax scoffed and gave him a mischievous smile. "Nothing I havn't seen before" she said slowly turning around. Kevin just smirked and shook his finger at her as he attempted to dress himself. 

It was true. They had at one time been intimate with each other. It was well before the world fell apart and the dead took over. They were never in a relationship per say but more of a friends with benefits kind of deal. It was never planned but when their band used to play at the local bars, including the one her father owned, they would always get hammered at the after party and one thing always led to another. Dax trusted him. She knew that he would never go too far or do anything to hurt her. If things escalated and she passed out or didn't feel like it, he would always make sure she got home safe or found a bed to sleep in that night. Whether it was her bed or his own with him taking the couch, he always looked after her. Then he got a girl friend and things got a little weird. Their friendship still stayed as strong as it always had but sleeping together came to a screeching halt. Dax was not that kind of woman and he was not that kind of man to cheat and mess around. After they broke up, they never went back to their old habits. 

Once Kevin was dressed and she was sure he would be fine for a while, she figured she would go take a walk and play her guitar for a bit. It was true that she was having withdrawals from playing in her band, though she would never say anything because she brought it upon herself. Playing her guitar by herself and singing helped but it didn't quite scratch the itch. As Dax walked through out her community everyone was busy and scurrying around as usual. Negan would be here soon for the next collection and she could feel that everyone was on edge. She was would be lying if she said she wasn't as well. 

She strolled to the entrance of the community where she heard a unison of voices scream her name out. Dax turned around and before she could react she had a bunch of little arms hanging from her waist. "Hey guys, what's up?" She said addressing the neighborhood kids that just practically tackled her. She looked up and gave their teacher a nod and a smile as she stood across the yard. "Can you sing us a song?" A little red headed boy by the name of William asked. She ruffled his hair, there was no way she could say no to that cute freckled face. When she started playing for the community, surprisingly she started to gain a small fan base. She was a respected member of the community and people loved to hear her sing, including the children. She would volunteer at their little make shift school and teach music and sometimes do performances. They just thought she was the bees knees and every time they saw her they always made it a point to say hello....whether that hello consisted of a polite wave from a distance, or being tackled to the ground by a midget mob, she was always addressed. 

Dax glanced at the teacher to see if it would be OK and she gave her a nod. "Ok guys, maybe just a few" She said. They all cheered in unison, which brought a bigger smile to her face. She loved these kids. She sat down on the steps of the school house as the kids gathered around her, William at her side. Though she would never admit it, William was her favorite. She could never resist that red hair and those freckles. She began to play a few basic nursery rhymes and the kids joined along. They were laughing and giggling as she got more and more into it. These kids always seemed to help her forget that there was a zombie apocalypse going on outside these walls and it made her happy that Alexandria could provide this for them. Even if it was just for a little while, she was glad that they could still experience what it is like to be a kid. 

 

She was about three songs in when she heard loud bangs on the gate a little ways down the road. It was enough to bring a sharp silence to the community. Everyone stopped what they were doing and retreated to their houses. Dax's heart rate began to pick up. "Ok guys, time to go, go back to the school house and listen to your teacher, do what your told" she ordered, standing and ushering the kids back inside. Spencer was on gate duty and she looked over to him. Like an idiot, he was just standing there. The next words she heard sent icy shivers down her back and through the rest of her body. The atmosphere was about to change really soon. "Little pig, little pig, let me in!".

 

(Ok so I will be changing some of the story line around from the show to fit my story. This is an AU and I have to with the way I want things to go. I'm still going to keep alot of the same events but they just might happen a different way. I know I don't have that many but for the few that left me a kudos, thankyou so much. It makes me happy to know that people are actually reading this. I didn't expect this story to be for everyone but its nice to know that someone likes it. Also I would love to receive comments from some of you guys. It would be nice to hear some feedback or even requests or predictions about where the story will go. Thankyou again and I promise Negan will be in the next chapter and the story will pick up from there)


	4. One Blaze of Glory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dax lashes out at Negan again. 
> 
> (My favorite chapter so far...Just saying)

Once all the kids were out of site, Dax ran around the side of the building and peeked out from around the corner. She saw Rick come up to the gate and they had a few words that she couldn't make out. The next thing she knew, all the Saviors were disbursing throughout the community like ants. She hung around a little longer to see what they were going to do. As the Saviors spread out, Dax had to do a double take. Daryl was with them! She felt her heart nearly jump out of her throat just knowing that he was still alive and somewhat well. Despite his filthy appearance, he looked OK, well, at least he didn't seem injured from where she was standing. She continued to spy and she saw Negan hand Lucille off to Rick while the Saviors started to enter houses without even knocking.

Negan was blabbering on as usual, no surprise there, as he took a few strides ahead of Rick. He bent down and reached inside a cooler of some sort and picked up a soda, cracked it open, took one sip, and just threw it down on the ground as if he were at the local dump. Dax immediately felt her blood begin to sizzle. In the old world, she was always against littering, she once witnessed a guy throw down a fast food bag in a local park in her home town and she hounded him so bad until he picked it up and threw it out. Granted that was another universe ago but it was the sheer disrespect and the cockiness that burnt her. 

She saw the Saviors start to come out with furniture and other house hold items. She knew that it was only a matter of time before they made their way to her house. She had to go warn her friends. With her guitar in hand, she ducked in an alleyway behind the school house and stayed along the edge of Alexandria's perimeter to get to her house unseen. When Dax reached her house she ran up the stairs and burst threw the door. Lacey, Quinn, and Kevin were all sitting in the living room talking amongst themselves and they jumped at her sudden appearance. "Negans here with the Saviors!" She stammered, still slightly out of breath. The others jumped to their feet. "We have to hide our valuables, they are raiding all of the houses and taking what they want!" Dax cried. "Mother fuckers!" Quinn yelled. "We have to hurry, it's not going to take them long before they are here". With that, they all took off in their bedrooms to try to hide their belongings the best they could.

Dax ran upstairs to her room. She opened her window, climbed to her spot on the roof and set her guitar down where it would be safe. She went back inside to gather more stuff. Really her guitar was the only real thing she cared about. It was a gift from Deanna when she first arrived at Alexandria and because music was her life, she cherished it like a rare diamond. She grabbed a few notebooks, a gun that she was positive no one knew about, her make-up bag, and her IPOD and moved them outside next to her guitar. She was about to go run to Kevin's room to see if he needed any help gathering his stuff, being that he was down an arm, when she was stopped dead in her tracks at the sound of a gun shot. Her breath was caught in her throat as she imagined the worst. Kevin and Lacey came out of their rooms. "Oh my god guys did you just hear that?" Lacey cried with her eyes bulging. "That was a gunshot" Kevin said. "It sounded like it came from that direction" He pointed to the front of the community. Dax's head followed where Kevin pointed and snapped her head back to Lacey and Kevin. "You guys stay here, keep gathering your stuff, I'm going to go see if everyone is OK, if I see them get close to us I'll try to stall them the best I can" Dax said as she was making her way down stairs. "Wait! Dax! STOP! What are you doing!? You can't go out there! DAX!" Kevin tried to yell after her. "I'll be fine, I promise, I just want to make sure our people are OK". Dax stepped outside and she heard Kevin try to call out to her again but she closed the door on his words. She had to see what the shot was about. 

Dax made her way down the streets of Alexandria in the direction of where she thought the shot came from. Another shot went off and she began running. She got about halfway there before she started to second guess herself. Her gut was screaming for her to turn back around. If she was smart, she would have stayed on top of the roof out of Negan's sight until they left. But smart people don't make very interesting stories, now do they?

When Dax rounded the edge and came around the front of a house that was just a few blocks down from hers her feet froze. 'Shit!' was the only reasonable thought that came to her mind aside from sheer panic. She pretty much walked right in the middle of a dispute that was going on with Negan, Rick and...Olivia? There were about a quarter of the Saviors that came with them walking in and out of the building. She realized it was where they kept their inventory of guns. Negan's back was turned to her and out of natural reaction Rick and Olivia looked her way. Rick's eyes went wide at the site of her as Negan casually turned around to see what caught their attention. 

A wide grin began to spread to his face. "Well hell fucking lo there! Dax right? I was wondering if I was going to see that pretty little face again, why don't you come over here and join our little conversation?" He said using his hand to signal her over. Dax's eyes shifted from Rick, to Olivia and then to Negan's as she slowly made her way over to them. Dread filled her stomach and if was a good thing that she hadn't eaten today because she probably would have tossed her cookies right there. "There you go, now that's a good girl" He said while he nestled his arm over her shoulder and pulled her in close to him. Dax was close enough she could smell a surprisingly decent cologne scent coming off of him. 

"We were just talking about how little miss Olivia here sucks at her job, apparently two guns went missing at some point on her watch and they are no fucking where to be found....you wouldn't happen to know anything about that...would you?" He said as his eyes trailed over to look at hers. Dax glared at him, feeling the fire of rage start to burn inside her. "No, I don't, and I actually think Olivia is pretty awesome at her job, did you stop and think that maybe it was one of YOUR people that had something to do with it?" Dax snapped while roughly removing Negan's arm from her shoulders. She walked over to Ricks side. Rick's eyes bore into her with a pleading look. "Well no I didn't, you see I actually trust my guys, I have them trained and unlike someone I know, I actually know how to keep my people in line" He said, dramatically moving his body as he spoke. "Well maybe you should check that line again" Dax challenged him, narrowing her eyes. Negan's expression fell into a frown for a moment as he glared back at her but picked it back up to his usual grin. His eyes never leaving Dax's, he shouted "ATTENTION SAVIORS! I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU, WHO ARE YOU?". In unison, with the mentality of the zombies that walk among the walls the all yelled "NEGAN!". 

"See" Negan said holding his arms out while tilting his head and smiling. "Fucking Trained" He said proudly. Dax rolled her eyes. Rick stepped beside her. "Dax, please, just go back to your house, wait for me to-". Negan cut Rick off "NO! Don't you dare tell her to leave, that is no longer your call anymore, I want her to stay here and see just how I keep my people in line" saying the last part in Dax's face. "Now, lets get down to fucking business" he said clapping his hands and turning to Olivia. "Where was I...Oh yeah...the Glock .9 and the .22 Bobcat, so do you know where they are?" Olivia paused for a second, afraid to answer him. "No...I-". Negan took a deep sigh and turned to Rick. "This is disappointing Rick, I thought we had an understanding, this shows that someone is not on board, and I can't have that". He paused for a moment, swayed his glance to Dax, giving her a little Wink and then back to Olivia. He took a step towards her so he was standing directly in front of her. "I don't enjoy killing women. Men? well I can waste them all the live long but at the end of the day Olivia, my dear, this was YOUR responsibility". 

Rick stepped forward. "Look we can work this out, we-" Rick tried to defend Olivia but was shut down. "Oh yes we can, and I'm going to...Right. Now". Negan's face settled into a dark and serious expression. Dax could have sworn she saw his eyes turn from brown to black. She heard a small whimper and she looked over to see Olivia was starting to cry. She was scared to death and Dax didn't blame her. Negan turned to get in poor Olivias face. "This was your job, and you screwed up...keeping track of guns, that shit is life and death". He was now towering over her, his intimidation tactic pushing maximum density. His face wore pure anger...and evil. Olivia let out another cry and was shaking like a leaf. Negan still wouldn't let up off of her.

Dax felt her temper rise again. Olivia was probably the sweetest and meekest member of their community and she did not deserve what Negan was putting her through. Dax couldn't refrain from standing up for her, she HATED bullies. "Leave her alone" Dax growled. Negan stayed planted, still towering over Olivia. "Just wait a second doll, I'm not quite through here" He said, eyes still locked on Olivia. Not moving, Dax sprang into action. "I SAID TO LEAVE HER THE FUCK ALONE!" She screamed stomping over to him. She roughly grabbed him by his leather jacket and spun him around to face her. She had fully intended on decking him in the face again but a male Savior grabbed her, kicked her in the back of the legs, and made her kneel just like last time, only this time she was more prepared. The second her knees hit the floor she sprang back up and using all of her strength she rammed her palm right in the center of his crotch. Just like she had hopped she had him doubled over on the ground trying to catch his breath. Before she could move another muscle she could hear the clicks of all the Saviors in that area focus their guns on her. The whole scene happened in a time span of less than ten seconds.

"WHOA WHOA WHOA there! What the fuck was THAT? THAT was a BIG no no that's what it was. Talk about stepping the fuck out of line, what kind of circus do you have going on here Rick?" Negan boasted, stalking around her like a tiger around his prey. Dax gave him the most hateful look she could muster up. "Wow" Negan breathed, looking at her in awe. "You most certainly scare the shit out of me, look at you with those beautiful, angry, black eyes, tell me love, that why you do them like that?" Negan said, hinting to her choice of eye make-up. Dax broke her eye contact with him and focused on the Savior that she just put on the ground. "Davey...you alright?" Negan asked nodding over to him. He slowly shook his head as he tried to stand up, catching his breath and glaring at Dax. "Damn girl, talk about a low blow...a low blow indeed, you never go after a mans jewels unless you abso-fucking-lutely have to, and that...that was just bitch doll". Dax scrunched her nose in anger at him. Negan stood in front of her, past the point of being in her personal space and bent down to be nose to nose with her. Grabbing her chin like he did last time, he said "Now I admire your spunk, but this is just not cool baby doll, not fucking cool at all...you know what I'm going to have to do now right?". 

Before he could say another word, Dax spit in his face and growled "GO TO HELL". The whole compound instantly grew so quiet that a pin drop could have been heard. Out of her Peripherals, Dax could see that more members of the community and Saviors came to check out what the commotion was. Negan turned his head and flinched out of natural reaction to her gesture. He froze for a moment, long enough to make Dax wish that she could retract what she had just done. He slowly turned his head back to her with a terrifying expression Dax never saw on him before. He wiped her spit off his face, looked down at his hand, and then looked back to her. The anger on his face could have made her wet herself. "You just made the biggest fucking mistake of your life time dollface...You crossed the line now." Venom dripped from every word. Dax held her expression the best she could though she just wanted to run away with her tail between her legs. "I think, you need someone to teach you how to be a lady, someone to install manners into you, and hell...seeing how Rick here obviously has no fucking control over you I might as well be the one to do it."...What the hell could he mean by that? 

He released her chin with a jerk and stood up to his full height. Making his way over to Rick, he said "I'm going to do a favor for you Rick... I'm going to take this little violent vixen off your hands because I'm a reasonable guy. This is going to do wonders for you because now you have one less mouth to feed and now you don't have to worry about her getting someone killed anymore. You can now focus on what is really important which is getting. Me. My. Shit....How's that sound?" The grin started to come back to his face. It took Dax a second to fully register what he was saying. "NO!" She yelled, throwing herself on her feet and trying to run away, only to be stopped and dragged away by two Saviors. She heard Rick try to reason with Negan and even though she couldn't hear his response, she could tell he shut him down. Dax tried digging her heels in the dirt, pulling and prying against their grasp but she was so small and they were so strong. She used every ounce of fight she had in her but it was no use. "Take her to the trucks" She heard Negan order. "NO!" She screamed again as she was thrashing in their grasp. She turned around to get one last look at her people. Her eyes managed to find Kevin and Quinn in the crowd. They must have arrived at some point in the middle of the scene. They too were fighting to try to get to her but there were too many Saviors standing in their way, threatening them with guns to their faces. Behind them, Dax could see Lacey standing next to the building crying. She heard them call out to her but it was no use, no matter what happened, she knew she was finished. She was at Negan's mercy now and there was nothing anyone could do about it.

They dragged her the trucks that were parked outside the gate. She knew she was done but she wasn't going to make it easy for them. She wasn't going to go down without a fight. She turned her body and horse kicked the guy who flanked her left right in his knee cap. She could have sworn she heard something pop as he hit the ground letting out a yell. She then tried to swing her arm around to break the grip of the other one who had her arm but it was no use because she had another two Saviors on her. They slammed her into the side of one of the trucks. Despite the pain she felt she still gave it her all to fight and get away from them. She had four men surrounding her and even though her arms were pinned she used her legs and the hardness of her boots to keep them at a distance, until she heard a gunshot go off.

The all jumped and froze. "ALRIGHT THAT'S ENOUGH" Negan yelled pointing a gun in the air. She didn't even notice him approaching she was trying so hard to fight them off. He walked in front of her and through the hair in her eyes she gave him a death stare, panting from all the fighting she just did. Negan looked down at her, eyeing her a bit before grabbing a cloth that a Savior handed off to him. "You caused A LOT of trouble today cupcake, a lot of fucking trouble. Good thing we have a bit of a drive ahead of us, I'll have plenty of time to think of a nice punishment for you". Dax really wanted to tell him where he could stick his punishment but she figured her mouth already got her in enough trouble for the day so with great difficulty she bit her tongue. "Now, because I am such a God damn gentleman and I don't hit women...this is going to suck."

Before Dax could process what that could mean, he used his forearm to pin her neck against the truck while the saviors tightened their grip on her arms. Even though it was useless she tried to twist and squirm. Without breaking eye contact Negan pressed the cloth against her face, covering her nose and mouth. The strong odor brought tears to her eyes and all she could do was helplessly stand there and breathe it in. She began to see spots and stars in her vision and the last thing she remembered was looking into Negan's cold black eyes and the words "Nighty nite, sleep tight".


	5. Welcome to the Jungle

Dax slowly awoke to the sound of a reving engine. She could smell the lingerings of tobacco and pine in her surroundings. She had an an awful headache and her arms were sore. she went to go move and realized that they were tied behind her back. Negan was in the front seat driving, every now and then giving an order into his radio. The light sounds of old school rock illuminated around her. She opened one eye and tried to get a feel of what was binding her. Reaching her fingers up she felt a rope that couldn't have been any thicker than a shoe lace. She slowly tried to reach in her back pocket for her small swiss army knife, praying that they didn't confiscate it. She felt a great sense of relief wash over her she ran her fingers over the edges in her back pocket.

It was a tiny knife, nothing impressive at all, it could pass for a knife that a father would give his eight year old son on his first boy scout trip. She kept it on her for when she worked in the gardens. She carefully pulled it out of her pocket, trying not to make too much noise or movement that would catch Negan's attention. After some effort she felt her bindings break loose. she kept her hands behind her back like they were still tied with the knife in her right palm, still open. 

She felt the truck slow down to a stop as she heard Negan call into the radio to open the gate. They must have arrived. Dax could feel her adrenaline start to pick up speed. It was almost time to act, she prayed that she wouldn't screw this up. She literally had one chance. She heard Negan cut the engine. He turned around to make sure she was still unconscious before getting out of the truck. "Hey Keno, go in the back seat here and grab our new guest, take her up to my office and stand gaurd, I'll be up there in a minute". "Yes sir" he replied walking around to the back of the truck. Dax was ready. 

The moment he opened up the door Dax sent a hard kick to his face. He let out a yell and stumbled back just like Dax had hoped he would. It gave her enough time to sit up and try to make a break for it. Before she could get out he was back on her again trying to pin her down. Dax screamed and plunged her small knife right down on the top of his shoulder. "YOU BITCH!" he roared. Dax kicked him back again and she had a clear escape. She high tailed it, running as fast as her little feet could carry her. "STOP HER, I WANT HER ALIVE!" She heard Negan yell behind her. He sounded pissed and it urged Dax to run faster. 

She heard shots go off and she started to run in a zig zag pattern to dodge bullets. She started to approach the woods as she started to feel a sense of joy wash over her. She couldn't believe she did it! She escaped! A smile spread across her face when she could no longer hear the Saviors behind her. She knew that she couldn't run forever. She planned on finding a tree to hide in until they gave up searching for her, her plan was going to work. She didn't stop running. She turned around to see if they were still in her sights hoping she was in the clear. Big mistake. 

She collided right into a walker, completely knocking her off of her feet and hitting the ground with a thud. The walker growled and snarled as it tried to take a chunk out of her. Dax squealed and tried to fight it off. The way it had her pinned, she couldn't lift herself up enough to throw it off of her. Running out of time, she shoved her fingers in it's eye socket and she felt the brown mush ooze all over her arms and torso. 

she felt it's body fall limp as it collapsed on top of her. Right when she thought she was in the clear another one emerged from the woods and stumbled over the one that was already on top of her. She yelled in agony as the weight of the two walkers began to crush her. She was pinned but luckily the body of the first one shielded her from the walker that was now trying to devour her. Out of her peripherals could see more of them closing in on her.

'So this is how it all ends' was her last thought before a bullet exploded in the walkers head, splattering blood all over her face. She heard more guns fire as the rest of the small heard fell the ground around her. Before she could process what just happened and the fact that she was still alive, a blond Savior that she recognized from earlier bent down over her with his gun in hand. She focused in on a nasty burn mark on the side of his face. He glared at her as she hopelessly stared back at him, still pinned from the bodies. He sighed and lent her a hand to pull her on her feet before muttering "Come on". Dax could see more Saviors in the distance and she didn't fight this time. There was no point. 

As they made their way back to the compound, Dax could see Negan standing there waiting for her return. He wore that same shit eating grin that she couldn't stand, his hands clasped in front of him with Lucille dangling from his finger tips. As she approached he slowly started shaking his head. "Doll, you are starting to become a huge pain in my ass, I mean come on, even if ya did manage to escape, your little Alex-an-dria is about two hours from here and these woods are filled with the dead, What on Earth was going through that pretty little head of yours?"

Dax didn't answer and just continued to glare at him. From here on out she was going to have to try and choose her words very carefully if she planned to make it out of here alive. Negan paused waiting for an answer. When she had none he looked around, looked back at her in surprise and then turned his head and put a hand up to his ear. "Nothing? Really?...Nothing...No snotty come back...Wow baby... I'm fucking shocked! You may be easier to tame then I thought, this is definitely a start! I'm proud of you" He said clapping a hand on her shoulder. Dax looked down at his hand on her, crinkled her nose in disgust and turned her attention back to him. 

"Now, how about we go get you a shower, wash all those walker guts off you, and scrub all of that shit off your God damn face. I wanna see what you really look like under all that...Unless...There's not that much to look at all, maybe that's the reason you wear that shit" He insulted, smirking at her while gesturing to her eye make-up. Dax felt her rage return. "Well I would rather look like this then a Grease Lightning back up dancer reject that was probably cut after the first audition...hmm...maybe that explains why you are such an ASSHOLE!" Dax snapped back.

Negan stared at her for a moment before his eyes lit up with a smile. "Ohhh there she is, that fire that I admire in you. Wow doll...Nice comeback...Though I admire it, it's still not very wise on your part...You know what I think? I think you need a little time out. Yes, a little time out should set you straight, and maybe...just maybe when you come out you can finally learn to start acting like a lady". 

Dax was fuming. She jerked her heel back and did her best to give him a good kick in the shin but the blond Savior that was holding her over saw her move and jerked her away before she could make contact. She continued to fight him and another came up and flanked her side. Dax then started to shout just about every profanity and threat she could think of at Negan who just casually leaned back on his heels smirking at her. "Damn girl, you could make a sailor blush, take her to the cells, that oughta knock her down a few pegs for the time being" He ordered, eyes never leaving hers. As they roughly dragged her into the large building Dax dug her heels in the ground and used every bit of fight she had left in her to get away. Still shouting profanities at Negan. 

"See you in a few days sweetheart, welcome to your new home!" was the last thing Dax heard before she was closed up in the sanctuary.


	6. Goodbye Sunshine

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye my love  
I can't hide, can't hide, can't hide what has come

I have to go  
I have to go  
I have to go  
And leave you alone

But always know  
Always know  
Always know that I love you so  
I love you so  
I love you so, oh

Goodbye brown eyes  
Goodbye for now  
Goodbye sunshine  
Take care of yourself

I have to go  
I have to go  
I have to go  
And leave you alone

But always know  
Always know  
Always know that I love you so  
I love you so

Dax sang her heart out. That was all she could really do to keep herself sane. She sang through just about every genre she knew, even trying out songs that she didn't normally sing, practicing them on her vocal chords. Three days. It had been three long excruciating days since Negan threw her in that cell and she way beyond restless. She hadn't seen him since then which was a catch twenty two feeling because she didn't want to see him, but at the same time he was her only way to get out of this. She had plenty of time to think in there and she had a plan in mind. She was going to have to play his game to get out of this. She rubbed her cold legs and pulled them up to her chest. After Negan let her shower, they brought her a pair of shorts and a tank top and if they didn't take her old clothes she would have kept them because these were doing nothing for her from sitting on the cold hard cement. 

She was missing Alexandria hard. Even more so, she missed her friends. Quinn, Lacey, and Kevin....Oh Kevin. She had so much time to think about her life, she thought about their relationship and how he was with her. She had a few boyfriends over the years but no one could handle her personality the way Kevin did. He had a certain calmness to him that grounded her and she couldn't understand why she friend zoned him all these years. She cherished their friendship so much, she supposed that maybe it was because she was afraid it would have killed their relationship. Even though it had only been a few days, her heart ached. This had been the longest she had been away from him since the world turned.

Her thoughts were also drifting back to her family before all of this. She thought about her dad and his battle with cancer. She didn't realize it at the time but his passing was actually a blessing in disguise because now he didn't have to witness the gruesomeness of how things were today. She also wondered if her older half brother Derek was still alive. He worked for Green Peace and right before everything happened he took a trip to help out with the poverty somewhere in Africa and that was the last time she ever saw him. She grew up without a mother. Her mom took off shortly after she was born. Her father told her that she was a very unstable woman and she suffered dearly from postpartum depression after she had Dax. She also had battled with drug addiction. After she took off she was gone without a trace and her dad was never able to locate her again. Her father would never admit it but she often wondered if she got into trouble with the wrong people and they ended her. 

The blond Savior that brought her here was the one who looked after her. She had learned his name was Dwight and he came two times a day to let her use the bathroom and to bring her something to eat. She kept trying to make small talk with him but he was a stone. He wouldn't talk to her no matter how hard she pressed him for conversation. She tried to be as polite to him as she could and even thanked him when he brought her disgusting sandwiches made with something that she that tasted like dog food, which she barely ate. If she heard any movement outside she would just start to talk aimlessly, assuming it was Dwight. She would talk about good times in Alexandria, performances with her band, her favorite fast food places, anything just to hear her voice and to break the silence. Well, whoever was listening must have taken a liking to her because at the end of the second day she took a nap and when she woke up there was a chocolate HoHo by the door and a small bottle of water. Dax ate it slowly, savoring the taste.

In the middle of the third day Dax was in the middle of singing when the door suddenly opened up making her jump. She looked up, squinting her eyes from the light that poured in to see Dwight standing above her. "Get up" he ordered. "The boss wants to see you".

Dax's heart was beating wildly in her chest as Dwight yanked her up by her arm and pulled her out of the cell, slamming the door behind him. As Dax tried to keep up with him she said "Thank you for the chocolate...I know you were the one who brought it". Dwight glanced at her out of the corner of his eye and gave her a confused look. Before Dax could read into it his expression it went back to being stone cold. "How long have you been here" she asked. Silence again. "Do you have any family here?" she asked another question trying to make small talk and in return again she got the silent treatment. Dax sighed. "I wish you would talk to me" she said dropping her eyes in sadness. Dwight stopped suddenly and looked her in the eyes. For the first time she saw his eyes soften a little and he spoke. "Look, just do what he says ok? Don't question him, don't back talk him and don't step out of line. Don't bring attention to yourself. You have no idea what he can do to you and trust me when I say he's been going easy on you". Dax stared back looking into his. "He did that to your face, didn't he?" She said nodding to the burn mark. He didn't say anything as his eyes trailed to the floor and continued to pull her along. She didn't say another word for the rest of the walk. They came to another hallway with to a door that big burly guy was standing in front of. Dax figured he was standing gaurd while Dwight and him both gave each other a nod. The anxiety began to build in Dax's chest as she heard a booming voice on the other side yell "What!"

"It's Dwight". "Come in" The voice which sounded like Negan answered. Dwight opened the door and pushed Dax inside. Negan was sitting behind a desk with his legs crossed on the surface while he was fiddling with Lucille. There was another man with a mustache and receding hairline sitting in a chair in front of the desk, turning around to see who was at the door. "Well hello there! If it isn't my little strawberry Daiquiri? Wow...I almost didn't recognize you with out all that shit on your face, there was actually a beautiful girl under all that". Dax gritted her teeth. He turned his attention to the other man. "Simon why don't and Dwighty boy here go check on the knew load that came in, Me and Dax here have a lot of catching up to do" he said giving her a wink. "Sure thing boss" Simon said. He gave her a smirk and he walked out with Dwight, closing the door behind him. Now it was just Dax and Negan. 

"So" he started, propping Lucille up against his desk and walking over to a little make shift bar in the corner of the room to pour himself a drink. "How is the cell life treating you". Dax didn't answer at first. She knew she was going to have to choose her words carefully. "Well, it's no Hilton but it's definitely given me some time to think." Negan pulled the glass up to his lips and grinned. "Oh yeah, about what exactly?" Dax took a deep breath and sighed. "I'm sorry for all the trouble I caused you". Negan's face dropped a little. He stared at her as if he was trying to read her and that made Dax nervous, though she never broke eye contact. Negan tilted his head to the side and said "Really now? Well that was mighty big of you...though I can't help but thing if this is a real apology or just a tactic to get what we want".

He moved to stand in front of her, leaning on the desk he looked down to train his eyes on hers. Fuck this was a lot harder then Dax thought it would be. "I was out of line, I know that now, and I'm sorry". Negan stared at her for a moment, searching for a break in her expression. "Well I'm happy that a few days in the cell was enough to cool your mighty fine ass down...Now the question is...Where do we go from here?". Dax blushed a little at his comment and said "I have a proposition for you". "Oh? and what might that be?" He asked, taking another sip of his drink, his eyes in amusement. Dax took a deep breath. This was her last chance. "You take me back to Alexandria...In return I swear to comply to your rules. I will do WHATEVER you say no matter what it is, you liked my band right? I will put on private concerts for you and your guys, or for just you if that's what you want. I will be at the gate every time you show up and give you the collections myself with out any fight". Dax knew it was a long shot, but it was all she had to offer. 

Negan stared at her as he pondered the idea. It felt like a very awkward life time before he responded. "Private concerts huh? Well that does sound like a fucking damn good time, aside from your little show the other day it's been a long time since I've heard good live music, and to have it all for myself, well that just tickles my balls." Dax picked her head up. She had a slight wave of relief wash over her and she couldn't believe that he might actually accept her offer. 

He set his drink down and crossed his arms, looking back up to her. "Sing me a song". "What?" Dax asked, confusing pulling to her eyes. "Sing me a song, I need a reminder of what those beautiful pipes sound like before I can make my decision." Dax could hear her heart as it began to hammer in her chest. "I suggest you think of something quick before my gratitude runs dry" he warned. Dax searched her brain and started to softly sing the first song that came to mind.

(Insert song choice here)

When she was done, Negan looked at her in awe. "Wow doll" he whispered. "That was absolutely beautiful, where the hell did you learn to sing like that?" he said picking up his drink again and taking a sip. Dax just shrugged and look down at the floor. "Well, as good of an offer as that sounds, I'm going to have to decline...You see, by you coming in here and trying to make your little deals, that just proves to me that you still just don't fucking get it. I own you. I call the shots around here, not you. I mean come on, did you really think that you could just waltz in here making demands like this and I would just give you what you want, it don't work like that doll, not around here"

Dax looked up at him with narrowed eyes. She had a feeling he would have said no but it was her only shot and she had to try. All the sudden Negan slammed his drink down on the desk, hard enough for some of it to splash out on the sides and clasped his hands on the armrests of her chair, pinning her in. He leaned down to get right in her face and sternly said "You. Spit. In. My. Face. And all I did was lock your ass in the cell for a few days...and now you are going to sit here and look at me with that stink eye because I didn't comply to what you wanted? I suggest you wipe that look off of your fucking face honey because I can do so much worse to you then what you have experienced so far. Just ask any one around here, don't think that because your a women I wont make your life a living hell".

Dax was frozen in fear and she could feel her eyes widen. Sure he had gotten in her face like this before but this time she was on his turf. Things were different. This was his ball game. As he continued to lock eyes with her, he stood up to his full height, still with his head pointing down in her direction. "There" he breathed. "That is much better" He said, pulling his serious look into a grin. Dax dropped her gaze back to the floor. Negan stared at her for a moment more with a smirk, almost as if he was admiring his work before he yelled "JOEY!" Dax whole body flinched as his loud deep voice as she turned around at the sound of the door opening. The big burly guy from before approached saying "Yeah boss?"

"Take little miss Daiquiri here back to her cell, she could use a couple more days to fully understand who is in charge here." "Yes Sir" Joey said as he started to grab her arm. "No, no, please, don't make me go back in there, I'll cook, I'll clean, I'll do anything just please don't put me in there again" Dax begged through pleading eyes as Joey lifted her to her feet. Negan stood in front of her and grabbed her face to caress her cheek. Looking at her in awe, he gently said "There it is...there's the look I was going for...You look so cute when you beg doll" he chuckled. Dax was in shock and as Joey continued to pull her her out of his office she felt tears falling down her face. The last thing she heard before she left was Negan telling her to have a great day as if she was leaving the doctors office.  
  
When Joey put her back in the cell, she noticed there was a granola bar in the corner. Figuring it was from Dwight, she undid the wrapper and began to eat it, not knowing when she would get her next meal. She pondered every word of the conversation that her and Negan had to the point where it gave her a headache. She didn't think that he was going to give in to her plans but she was hoping that he would have at least let her out of the cell and stuck her on some agonizing chore. Anything would have been better then sitting in solitary confinement. She felt like she ran out of options to get out of this and to take a break out of her head, she tried to focus on going to sleep. She was able to pass out rather quickly from all the mental exhaustment that she had dealt with today. 

She abruptly awoke to the sound of the door opening. Thinking it was Dwight, and having no clue what time it was, she looked up to see a different man standing over her in the door way. Confusion pulled into her eyes as she wondered where Dwight was. "Hi" was all he said, giving her a little smile, though it was not genuine. "Hi?" Dax said, unsure of what to make of him. He awkwardly stared at her for another moment, long enough to make Dax fidget. "I was the one who brought you those snacks. I wasn't suppose to, but I did anyway" He said taking a step towards her. Dax eyed him wearily and said "Oh, thanks." Something about him was sending off all kinds of alarms in her head. He broke his gaze from her and looked down at the floor, nodding to her response. "You know, I could have gotten into a lot of trouble for doing that for you?" Dax glared at him. "Then why did you?" She asked rudely. He locked eyes with her and didn't answer her question and just smiled. "You have a beautiful singing voice...I've been listening to you you know" He said inching his way closer to her, shutting the door behind him. 

This time she started to back up. Something just wasn't right about this man and he was scaring her in a different way then Negan ever did. He squatted down to her and reached to stroke her face, making her flinch away from him. "You are gorgeous. Girls around here don't look like you. You look like you could be a pop star or a beauty queen or somthin'" saying the last part with a long stroke down her face and locking eyes with her. Dax smacked his hand away from her and snapped "GET AWAY FROM ME!" He removed his hand, still squatting at her eye level he just stared at her through a creepy smile. Before she knew it he threw himself at her. Before she had time to react he was on top of her trying to pin her thrashing body. "GET THE FUCK OFF ME!" She yelled trying to get her hands up to shove him off. He grabbed her hands and pinned them against the wall above her head with one of his hands while using the other one to rip her tanktop from her body and toss it to the side. He was so much stronger then her but Dax still continued to fight with everything she had. "The more you fight, the longer it will last" he sneered as he bent down to lick a line from her stomach to the top of her shorts.

His face lingered there for a moment as if he was savoring her and Dax was able to pull a knee out and catch him right underneath his jaw. He automatically let go of her as he hollered in pain and she pushed him to the side to make a break for the door. Just when she was about to turn the knob, she felt his hand knot in the back of her hair and rip her back to the ground with him. The last thing she saw before she blacked out was his angry red race and his cold black eyes.

 

(Song credit: Avril lavigne: Goodbye)


	7. Nothings Gonna Change My World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan deals with what happened to Dax.

(Just a fair warning, this one is a little graphic)

 

 

(Negans POV)

Negan was just coming back from a meeting the the garbage people. He was fuming because their leader had just informed him that Rick was going to plan something against them. He did not trust their leader one bit, she was shifty as hell so he figured he would try to interrogate Dax to see if he could get a better grip on what they might be dealing with. "Do you want me to go get her?" Simon asked when he told him his agenda. "Naw, I got this one, go help Keno at the gate, I'll let you know what I find out." 

As he was walking up to Dax's cell, he was whistling a jolly tune while carrying Lucille on his shoulders. As he passed others throughout the compound the would all drop to their knees making him smirk. Damn it felt good to be king, oh yes it did. Walking with pep in his step, as he got closer to where she was he began to whistle louder so she would hear it. It was an intimidation tactic he often like to use, he loved to see people scramble around when they knew he was coming. His whistling came to an abrupt stop when he went to go open the cell door to find it unlocked. Right away his face dropped to a scowl, thinking that she escaped. When he opened the door, he wished she had. 

Now there is not much in this world that can shake Negan up but the site that he walked in on was horrifying. Dax was laying back down on the cement floor with her arms over her head. The only thing the was wearing were her shorts which were around one ankle. "Jesus fucking Christ" was all he could breathe out as he looked down at her through widen eyes. Her face was completely unrecognizable. There was so much blood coming from almost every hole on her face and her eyes were dark with bruises. She had bruises all over her arms and thighs and blood smeared down by her nether regions. She wasn't moving and Negan couldn't even tell if she was breathing. Negan started to hear groans coming from her and he pulled out his knife and got ready to take her out. To his relief, she wasn't gone. As he took another step towards her she made eye contact with him and he knew she hadn't turned. 

(Dax POV)

Dax slowly came to. Her eyes opened and the first thing she was was a blurry ceiling. They were so swollen, it hurt to blink. She let out a groan as the sensations in the rest of her body returned. 'Why do I hurt this bad' She wondered, not even able to remember what happened. Last thing she remembered was the walk with Joey back to her cell. At this point it would probably be easier to say what didn't hurt. She couldn't even move her face and her jaw felt like it was on fire. She slowly tried to sit up, even though she did not get very far. Her eyes found Negan's and before she could think what he was doing here, the look on his face made her realize just how bad this was. Her eyes trailed to a knife he was holding and she tried to scream but the only thing that came out was a hollow squeek. He looked down at his knife and quickly put it back in his belt loop. As she tried to scoot back away from him she fumbled and fell back. When she realized she was naked she instantly turned into herself and started crying, still looking down at her body in confusion ,not knowing what the hell happened. 

Just then Joey approached Negan from behind. Not being able to see Dax inside the cell he asked "Uhh do you want me to come back later boss?" Negan whipped around to face him, his shocked expression turning into something dark and savage. Channeling his rage into Joey he grabbed him by the shirt and slammed him up against the wall "WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU! YOUR JOB WAS TO STAND THE FUCK HERE ON GAURD, LOOK WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED WHEN YOU WERE AWAY!" His eyes were as black as coal and his face was red with a vein bulging in his forehead. Joey on the other hand looked like he was about to piss his pants. "I..I..just went to go-" Joey started but Negan cut him off. "THIS HAPPENED ON YOUR WATCH, THIS POOR GIRL GOT FUCKING RAPED BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T HERE YOU STUPID INSOLENT FUCK" Negan punched him in the face. Joey flinched and cowered down to the ground kneeling, "I'm sorry sir, I'm so sorry I was just gone for a little while, I swear." "SHUT THE HELL UP YOU FAT FUCK! GO TELL SIMON TO ROUND UP THE SANCTUARY IN THE MESS HALL AND THEN GO TELL CARSON TO GET A BED READY! NOW!" Negan raged. "Yes sir" Joey said as he quickly got up and ran like a bat out of hell. 

Negan turned his attention back to Dax who was huddled in the corner of the cell, using the wall to keep her upright. She was shaking like a leaf and her her face was a dripping wet mess of tears, snot, and blood. Negan turned around and tried to gain his composure so he wouldn't scare her any more then she already was. He took a deep breath and turned back around, squatting in front of her. In his softest of expressions and in the gentlest voice, he slowly reached out a hand to her and said "Dax, come on, it's OK..we have to get you to the doctor." Dax looked back at him with fearful eyes and held the wall. She mustered some out that sounded something like 'please go away' but she was crying so hard it was very unclear. "Shhh shhhh, it's OK, your safe now, I promise you nothing is going to happen to you, I'm here, shhh" Negan tried to comfort her as she continued to give him the same fearful look. He stayed there for a few more moments and let her have a good cry. He pulled out a piece of cloth that he usually carried on him incase he got splattered with walker guts and handed it to her saying "here". She went to go clean her face but flinched from her own hand, not realizing just how banged up it was. Negan slowly took the cloth from her and when she let him, he gently cleaned her face from all the goop that was leaking off of it. "There now, that's much better" He said smiling at her and he chucked the cloth to the side with her other garments."I'm going to lift you up now, is that ok?" He asked, trying to do things at her pace. When she gave him the OK, he moved to hover over her. "Grab my neck" He instructed and when she did so he hoisted her up with an "Upsy daisy." 

Dax wobbled in front of him. As he lifted her up he managed to grab ahold of her shorts and pull them back around her legs along with her. Once she was fully standing he snaked an arm around her and with his other arm he shrugged off his leather jacket and wrapped it around her, zipping up the front. "I'm going to pick up up now, alright?" He asked getting her permission again. He wanted her to know everything he was doing so she wouldn't get spooked at retreat away from him. Negan placed an arm around her waist and another under her legs and scooped her up in one motion and started walking to Carson's. He could feel her still trembling in his arms. Dax did her best to tuck her forehead in the crook of his neck to hide her face. She couldn't bare catching the looks of the people of the Sanctuary right now at the site of her mangled appearance. 

"Don't worry darling, you have my word that I will find the sick bastard who did this to you, this is one thing that I absolutely do NOT tolerate around here" Negan said as he approached the Dr's office. Once he was in front of the door he kicked it three times for Carson to opened it. When he did he instructed Negan to put her on the second bed. Negan gently lowered her down as Carson asked what happened. "She was raped, that fucking scum bag sack of shit raped her, beat the shit out of her, and then left her for dead, I'm not even sure how long she's been like this" Negan explained. Dr. Carson nodded and when to go tend to Dax. "And Doc" Negan stopped him putting a hand on his shoulder. "I want a full report of everything that fucker did to her". "Yes sir, of course." 

Negan approached Dax on the bed. She curled herself into the fetal position, her arms clenched around her stomach. "Hey, this is Doctor Carson, hes going to take good care of you, get you all bandaged up and back on your feet in no time OK?" Negan soothed, running a gentle hand over her head. She tried to say something but her jaw hurt so bad when she started moving it it came out like gibberish. "Shh shhh, we will talk later ok? Get some rest" He said giving her a genuine smile. Before he walked out he stopped in thought for a moment. Without turning around to her said "This makes us even now" and walked out the door.


	8. Teach Me About Tomorrow and All the Pain and Sorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan addresses the Saviors and makes them an offer.

There was a commotion of loud murmuring echoing off of the walls in the mess hall where Negan had everyone gathered. Everyone was questioning one another trying to figure out why they were all there. It was never anything good when these meetings were called, it usually meant some poor bastard was going to get the iron or worse. The noise abruptly quieted down when everyone heard the infamous two toned whistle as Negan made his way up to the over pass to stand over his people. He paced for a moment like a tiger, staring at everyone down below. It was now so quiet all they could hear was his heavy foot steps trudging on the metal floor. 

"You know, I would like to think that I am a VERY reasonable man when it comes to expectations. I have three main rules when it comes to running this place. Rule number one...Do your job and don't piss and moan about it....Rule number two...Never cross or question me....Can anyone tell me what rule number three is?...Anyone?" He asked and then held a hand up to his ear and looked at his everyone as if he was waiting for an answer. "We Don't Rape" Everyone said in unison. "We. Dont. Rape. Yes, that is correct. Rape is most definitely against the rules, I would NOT want to live in a place where it wasn't and I'm sure many of you would agree" Negan said with a slight smirk as he paced back and forth. 

"Now SOMEONE here...SOMEONE who is living among you, UNDER MY ROOF and are more then likely in this room right now, has decided that they don't want to abide by that rule...they thought, well hey, if I can get away with it, that must make it OK, WELL IT DON'T" Negan dropped his smirk and replaced it with a twisted dark frown, slamming Lucille down on the railing at the last three syllables. "ONE OF YOU MOTHER FUCKERS THOUGHT IT WOULD BE OK TO COME IN THE RESIDENCE OF ONE OF MY GUESTS AND STICK YOUR DICK IN HER WITHOUT HER CONSENT AND THEN BEAT HER PRETTY FACE TO A FUCKING PULP....Beating women is a rule that should not even have to be said around here, I can't tell you enough just how NOT COOL that shit is....I suggest you just off yourself now because I WILL find you..and when I do, you will wish that your mother spit you out on your daddy's dick because you WILL regret it and you WILL feel WORSE pain then that poor women felt!" 

Negan paused for a moment to let his words sink in and to regain composure. "Now...this is where you fine people come in. ANYONE who comes forth with ANY information on what went down will receive triple points for their compliance. Now it doesn't have to be right now, hell it don't even have to be to-day but if you know something and I find out that you are not telling me, I will personally put you to work on the walls, only you wont be working as a worker if you catch. My. Drift." Negan paused for a moment and waved his hand to signal that he was expecting an answer. "YES NEGAN" they replied all together. "Ok, good...now that we got that cleared up, DISMISSED!" Negan stood and watched as every one disbursed out of the area. 

Once everyone was gone, Negan made his way back to Dr. Carson's office. When he got there he lightly tapped on the door, not wanting to startle Dax. Doctor Carson opened up and invited him inside. When Negan made his way in, he noticed Dax was curled up on the bed fast asleep. The swelling around her eyes were starting to go down and now that her face was cleaned up he could really see the damage that was done to her. Her cheeks and eyes were badly bruised and her lip was pretty busted up. She had a few bandages on her face from where he split open her cheek bones and Negan could tell it was going to take her a little bit to heal. He propped Lucille down at the door and took a chair and rolled over to her bedside. He gently brushed some hair out of her eyes and softly caressed her cheek with the back of his fingers, giving her a sympathetic look. When she didn't stir from his touch he sighed and stood up to face Carson. 

"So" he began. "What's the verdict?" He asked bracing himself. "Well, it's not good, she has quite a bit of bruising on her upper body, mostly on her arms, face, and abdomen, she had a dislocated jaw which I had to reset. Surprisingly nothing else was broken, it will just take a little while to heal, the swelling is already going down. I had to give her a few sedatives for the pelvic exam along with an emergency contraceptive pill". Negan cocked an eye brow at him, not understanding what that meant. When Carson didn't respond he asked him "English?" not recognizing the scientific phrase. "The morning after pill" Carson confirmed. Negan nodded and stole another look towards Dax. She looked peaceful sleeping but he knew she wouldn't be that way when she woke up. "Also...I feel you should know...as I was giving her the pelvic exam I noticed she had some rectal tearing as well as vaginal. She should be fully healed physically from everything in about two weeks but the mental scaring is going to take a while to over come." 

Negan felt his face darken at Dr. Carson's diagnosis and it fueled his fire all over again. He knew that Dax was there as a punishment and his whole game was to break her into willingly submitting to his commands, but this was far from the way he wanted to go about it. This was some shit that made even him feel dirty and he realized that there are in fact worse people out there then him. He didn't know how to admit it but her was sorry that Dax had to meet one on his watch. "Thanks doc, do me a flavor and let me know when she wakes up" He said clapping a hand on his shoulder. "Of course" Carson replied with a nod. Negan nodded back and grabbed Lucille and left the office. He couldn't stay there for another minute after Carson's report. 

As he stomped up to his room, people were cowering and jerking to get out of his way. He wore the look of a madman and his eyes were a raging black as he made his way to his door. He slammed it shut and lashed out, slamming Lucille into a shelving unit, destroying various glasses and decor that he collected over the years. He began to destroy everything in his path out of pure anger. What he really wanted was to smash the slimy fuck that raped Dax with Lucille and it infuriated him that he could't do it. He was going to have to try to get Dax to talk so he could find out who did this, one way or another...


	9. Shit's So Deep, You Can't Run Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl's point of view the night and the day after Dax was attacked.

(I just wanted to take a moment and thank sage8771 for all of her positive comments. I have not gotten many comments on this story and her positive words have really been encouraging. She also has an amazing Negan fanfic out called The Bride which is a great story, you should check it out if you have not already. I also want to thank those who have left me Kudos, those really mean a lot to me as well. It helps me to write more when I know I have an audience who is into what I'm posting! This chapter is going to be a bit of a flash back, btw I'm horrible at writing in for Daryl so I'm sorry if this one sucks but I just needed to plant a plot line)

Daryl was finishing up mopping the East hall when Mark barged in. Usually Dwight was the one who gave him his orders but today he was helping out on a run so Mark was in charge. "Alright, go back to your cell, your done for today" he ordered. Daryl put the mop back in the bucket and stood there in front of Mark. Mark snapped a set of handcuffs on Daryl and pushed him through the door to the next hallway over where his cell was at. Once they were in front of Daryl's cell, Mark opened the door and roughly shoved him in. Daryl landed on the ground with a grunt and turned around to glare at Mark as he shut the door. 'Asshole' he said to himself. 

Daryl saw his shadow pass left underneath the door to his cell. Daryl figured he was going to check on other cells before he made his way back up to the bunks since Daryl knew there was only a few of them down there and a dead end. He sighed and leaned against the wall. He started to think about how everyone was doing at Alexandria and what Rick was going to do about Negan. In his time here he had been trying to memorize the layout of the Sanctuary to try to plan an escape. He knew it would be a long shot with how many Saviors were on guard but he had to try. He couldn't just sit back and do nothing, it was driving him crazy enough to be in here while a war was about to happen. He wanted to be the one to help Alexandria take down the Sanctuary. All he wanted was to see Negan pay for everything he has done. 

About a half an hour or so went by and Daryl was still deep in his thoughts when he saw another shadow pass right, from underneath the door. 'The fuck was he up to?' He thought to himself. 'Eh, not my problem'. He turned on his side and tried to get some sleep to prepare himself for whatever ridiculous tasks Negan had planned for him the next day. 

He was abruptly awaken the next morning to pounding on his cell door. "Come on, get the hell up!" Dwight ordered standing over him. "Sanctuary meeting, everyone goes." Dwight ripped him up by his arm and pushed him forward. Daryl grunted from the use of force and turned around to give him a glare through his stringy brown hair. Dwight pushed him again to urge him forward. It took Daryl everything not to fire back at him. 

When they arrived in the mess hall, Daryl could here the waves of voices echoing throughout the walls. He could feel the tension in the air and from the little bit that he could over hear from everyone, nobody knew why they were called to a meeting. He was sensing this wasn't a good thing. A few minutes later Negan came in and started blabbering about rules and mumbo jumbo that he really didn't care about. He swore that bastard lived to hear himself talk. He then heard him say something that did catch his attention. Negan announced that a girl was raped last night. He also said this girl was one of his guests. Daryl knew that Dax was here, he was there the day they took her. He almost ran into her a couple days ago but he did his best to stay away from her. He was afraid that if she saw him she was going to do something stupid and get her or himself in trouble again. He was praying she wasn't the one who was attacked. 

Negan seemed super pissed and was offering triple points for whoever came forward with any information. Shortly after that they were dismissed. "Come on, lets go" Dwight muttered pushing him along. They solemnly walked to the area where they distributed the assignments. Dwight found a clip board and scrolled to find what needed to be done for the day with his finger. Once he found it he tapped it twice and reached over to grab a bin of cleaning supplies. He roughly jammed the bin and Daryl's hand and said "You'll be cleaning in the East hall today."

Daryl stared at him blankly. "I just cleaned the East hall yesterday" He said thinking that was odd. "Well guess what, your in there again today. Get. Moving" Dwight snapped. Daryl put his head down and headed back to the East hall with Dwight on his heels, giving him a rough shove every now and then. Once they arrived, they walked to a cell that was located down at the far end. Dwight opened the door and pointed to blood spots on the concrete floor. "Use the bleach and get to work" He said rather bluntly. Daryl huffed as he got down on his hands and knees and began scrubbing. There was a decent amount of blood in a few spots in the cell, Daryl was beginning to wonder if someone turned in here. He turned around to dump the bucket to so he could fill it with clean water and start again when something caught his eye. There was a wad of cloth that was tossed in the corner of the cell. 

He slowly walked over and picked it up to throw it out when he realized it was a torn woman's tank top and a pair of panties. He studied it for a moment and realized that this is where it happened. This is where she was raped. He was cleaning up her blood. He almost dropped the fabric out of his hands when he came to another realization. Mark was the one in here last night. That was the reason why he was in there so long. Mark was the rapist!


	10. Take a Sad Song and Make it Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dax and Negan have a heart to heart and Dax meets Sherry.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Dax slowly stirred as a repetitive beeping noise made it's way into her dreamless slumber. She opened her eyes to see she was in a hospital room and she was hooked up to a heart monitor. Furrowing her eye brows in confusion, a burst of memories from the last 24 hours flashed though her mind. She remembered that Negan was the one who brought her here and she remembered a man named Dr. Carson took care of her. She slowly moved to sit up. She still felt very groggy like she was still half asleep. She noticed Dr. Carson sitting down at a small table in the corner of the room, going over papers of some sort. Like clock work he lifted his eyes up to see that she was awake.

"There you are, I was beginning to worry about you, you've been asleep for almost 24 hours, I was hoping I didn't over do it on the sedatives I had to give you, can't really measure out a reliable dose considering the lack of resources we have" He said making his way over to her. Dax inhaled deeply in a attempt to try to fully wake herself up. "What happened?" She asked running a hand through her hair and flinching from her own touch. "You don't remember?" He asked shining a light in her eyes. "Not really...I remember being walked back to my cell and then from there till when Negan found me is all blank" She said weakly. Carson sighed and clicked the flashlight off. "I'm sorry to be the one to tell you but you were attacked yesterday. You suffered some moderate injuries but nothing that won't heal in time". Dax's eyes dropped to the sheets. She figured that much but she couldn't recall the details. 

"How about I go get you something to eat, you must be starving...I'll be right back, just sit tight" He gave her a reassuring smile as he got up and headed for the door. "Dr. Carson?" Dax called out to him. He turned around and waited, thinking she was going to ask him something. "Thank you" She said giving him a half smile. He nodded and left her in the room.

Dax moved to go sit up and hang her feet off the edge of the bed. Physically she was feeling very sore. She saw that she had a few deep bruises on her arms and with how her face felt, she didn't even want to know what that looked like. Mentally...Well...that was a whole other deal. She felt like her mind hadn't caught up to what really happened and she was feeling kind of out of it about the whole thing. She couldn't cry or feel any emotion pertaining to her attack. She just felt numb. Maybe it was because she couldn't remember anything.

She was pulled out of her thoughts by a soft knock on the door. She flinched and arched her head over her shoulder to see Negan standing in the doorway holding a bowl of something. Her back was facing him and through the split in her hospital gown he could make out a big Celtic cross tattoo that covered her back. When she turned around he broke his gaze from it and brought it up to her eyes. They both stared at each other for a moment, both not really knowing what to say to the other. Negan broke the silence first. "Carson said you were up, he said you were probably hungry so I brought you some oatmeal" he said motioning to the bowl. 

He sounded different to Dax. Normally he was very boisterous when he talked but right now he was just...normal. "Thanks" Dax muttered as she looked down. She didn't have it in her to act like her usual self around him which Negan took notice to. He set the bowl down on an end table and pulled up a chair. Turning it backwards and straddling it he asked "So..how you feeling". "I'm OK I guess...I'm still pretty sore...you know I still don't even really know what happened." Negan stared at her with a puzzled look. "What exactly do remember?" He asked eyeing her. "I don't really know...All I remember is Joey walking me back to my cell...After that it's all just a blur..." She said trying to scan her mind for any detail she might have missed. Negan tensed up. Her response made him so angry because he knew that it was now going to be that much harder to find who did this to her, but he didn't want to show it in Dax's state. He was still trying to feel out how fragile she was and he was doing his best to walk on egg shells around her. 

He took a deep breath. "You have no idea who did this to you...do you?". Dax frowned and shook her head 'no'. Negan sighed again and looked her in the eyes. "I'm sorry you had to go through this. I'll admit, this happened on my watch but it wasn't suppose to... and for that I am truly sorry. That..that is a huge rule around here and all of my guys know that I do NOT accept that kind of behavior, and that is why when I find this son of a bitch he will wish that he never even so much as looked your way" he said, not even wanted to say the word around her. "I swear to you that I WILL find out who did this and they WILL pay. I will make it my personal responsibility to make sure that this NEVER happens to you again or anyone else again". 'Then why did it happen?' was all that screamed out in Dax's mind. 

Normally, she would lash out, throw things, scream, curse, but Dax felt an unusual calmness to her. It seemed that there was a small switch in her head that harnessed all of her emotions and her brain just decided to shut it off for the time being. Dax's eye's met his and she nodded. At some point she noticed Negan's hand made it's way on top of hers but she didn't flinch away. It felt warm and oddly comforting coming from him. Usually, Negan's presence irked her but right now there was something different about him. 

"So" Negan began again. "I have been giving a lot of thought about what to do with you and where we go from here. Now I know I called us even Stevens buuuut I can't just let you go and you know that. I've decided to put you on the point system and give you a job, under close supervision. You can stay in my room until a place opens up for you and until you start seriously earning, your points are all on me...for now. You can start as soon as your feeling up to it". 

Dax sighed. As much as she missed Alexandria she knew he wouldn't just let her go back. A man like him had an image to uphold and in Negan's eyes, sending her back would defer from the message he was trying to send. At this point, she was just happy that she would never have to go back to that cell again. She ended up giving him a nod to show her compliance. On any other circumstance, she would have told him where he could stick his decision but she no longer had that kind of fight in her. Negan noticed this and it made him a little sad considering that was one of the things he kinda liked about her. 

"Ok then" Negan said, removing his hand from hers and standing up. "I will send someone in to get you some clothes and escort you to the shower, in the mean time eat your breakfast, relax and uh, try not to punch anyone in the face" He said with his grin returning. To his surprise Dax actually let out a small chuckle. She then sighed and looked up at hims with a half smile and said "Thank you". "No problem sweetheart" He said giving her and wink and then made his way to the door. 

Dax ended up devouring her oatmeal almost instantly. She didn't realize how hungry she was but it made sense if Carson said shes been out since yesterday. When she was done she got up and grabbed a water bottle that was on the counter. At first she was a little wobbly but she managed to straighten herself out after a few steps. She sat back down on the bed when out of the corner of her eye she saw a figure appear in the doorway. She gasped and dropped her water bottle on the bed. She saw it was a woman that was about the same age as her. She had shoulder length brown hair and a black cocktail dress on that showed off her figure. She was a beautiful girl and Dax felt out of place wearing nothing but a hospital gown. 

"Oh shit, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sneak up on you" She apologized. "It's ok, don't worry about it" Dax replied as she pushed the now wet sheet away from her. "I'm Sherry, Negan told me to come up here and show you around a bit, I brought you some clothes" She said holding up a bag. "Ohh...thank you. I'm Dax". "Dax...That's an unusual name" Sherry said as she tried it out on her tongue. "Yeah I know, it's short for Daiquiri but everyone just calls me Dax". "Daiquiri huh...I like that, it's different" She said smiling. Dax gave her a half smile and said "Thanks". She was getting positive vibes from Sherry and she could already tell she was going to like her. She stepped into the room, placing the bag of clothes on the bed. "Well here are your clothes, they look like they should fit you, if not we can always take a trip down to the market place to see what suits you, are you going to be OK getting dressed by yourself?" Sherry asked referring to her injuries. "I should be OK, thank you for everything, I really appreciate it" Dax politely replied. "No problem, if you need anything I'll just be right outside the door" Sherry said as she scooted out. 

Dax opened the bag to see there was a pair of jeans, a plain black t-shirt, a sports bra ,a new pair of underware, and a pair of converse. She graciously put them on and headed out the door to meet Sherry. "Perfect" Sherry said as she eyed her up and down. "Come on, I'll show you around a bit". As Dax followed her throughout the Sanctuary, She couldn't get over just how huge this place was. She noticed that the people who passed her would quickly do a double take at her face which made her feel even more insecure about her appearance. Sherry caught on to her body language. "Don't worry, it's really not that bad, I'm sure you will heal in no time" she said trying to be encouraging. Dax looked at her and gave her a smile. Changing the subject Dax said "Wow, I didn't realize how huge this place was, I guess this is the first time I'm really seeing it, it feels a lot bigger then Alexandria. "Yeah I know, I was quite over-whelmed my first time here to...I think there is some places here that even I haven't been to yet".

Sherry continued to give her the grand tour. She showed her where the Cafeteria, the Market place, and the commissary was and explained to her their hours of operation and what they were used for. They were beginning to make their way up a set of stairs where they came to another set of doors. Sherry turned to Dax and handed her a key. "This is Negan's room, he said that you could stay here for a while until they get everything sorted out. There is a shower in there and I think he had ordered up some more clothes for you. If you need me, I'll just be in the room next door with the other wives, just knock first". Dax looked at her in puzzlement. "Um..Wives?" she asked as confusion pulled into her face. Sherry's mouth dropped and she looked like a deer in headlights. "Oh..umm...I guess no one told you" She said looking at the floor. "Told me what" Dax said dragging out the last syllable. Sherry took a deep breath.

"Well...this is kind of awkward but I guess you would have found out sooner or later...Negan calls me and a few other girls his wives, not in the literal sense of the word but..." Sherry paused, not really knowing how to continue. "We are more of a status symbol to him. Some of us provide sexual favors and some of us just sit around to look pretty and provide company. All of it is consensual, he has never forced us to do anything we don't want to, but in return we kinda get an immunity and are free from working on the point system". Dax felt like she was slapped upside the head from that information. Sherry noticed the look bewilderment on her face and quickly said "Look, we can still be friends..if you want to...I really hope this doesn't change what you thing of me...I know how it sounds".

Dax didn't know what to say. She knew She was trying to down play it but she couldn't help but think that maybe Negan was holding something over their heads to make them comply and Sherry just wasn't saying so. Finally Dax shook her head and thought 'Not my Circus, not my monkeys'. She was going to need all the friends she could get if she planned to make it in this place. "What you do in your private time is your own business, that's between you and Negan...Far be it from me to judge you" Dax finally answered, giving her a reassuring forced smile. Sherry smiled back and said "Thanks, I know it sounds weird because it is but thank you anyway for not judging me". "No problem, that's what friends are for, right?". Sherry's smile grew bigger and she squeezed Dax's hand. "Alright, well I'll leave you to it, I hope you are able to get settled quickly and enjoy the rest of your day". "Thanks, you too" Dax responded and turned the key to Negan's door. As sherry walked away, Dax stepped inside and shut the door behind her, twisting the lock. With her back pressing up against the door, all she could think was 'Wow' to everything Sherry just told her. 

Negans room was probably the most exquisite thing in this whole building, and she wouldn't have expected anything less. The walls were a dark grey and to her surprise he had a kind size bed with black bedding that looked comfy enough to make her want to jump in it. He also had a a black couch set and even a mini bar in the corner of the room. There was a few shelving units with books and CD's and such but what really caught her eye was the Television set that was in front of the bed. "Oh my God" was all she could breathe out. This was even nicer then any house in Alexandria. The room even smelled like him. 

She saw on a counter next to the bathroom door there was a stack of clothes that she assumed were the ones Negan ordered up for her. She picked them up and started to go through them. They weren't really her style being that they were very girly but she figured beggars can't be choosers. She found a black towel and went in the bathroom and shut the door. She turned on the shower, praying there was hot water and started to strip, until she caught her reflection in the mirror. She gasped when she saw herself, taking her by surprise. There was so much bruising on her face that she could barley make out her actual skin color and she was still a little puffy around her eyes. "Holy shit" was all she could muster out, lightly touching her face. She looked down at the rest of her in the mirror and did a little turn to see the other sets of bruises that littered her body. Feeling a little shaken up, she stepped in the shower.

To her surprise, there actually was hot water. There was a few bottles of some kind of expensive looking soaps and shampoos in there that she had never seen before and she lathered up in them, scrubbing every single part of her body. 'Wow, the man has good tastes' She thought to herself as the aroma circled around her. As she was scrubbing she felt like she was washing everything that had happened since she been here. It was as if she was shedding a skin to a new beginning. She thought about Alexandria and what everyone was doing. She thought about her friends and then burst out into tears. She really really missed them and now they were absent at the time she needed them the most in her life. Sure she could make friends with Sherry, she seemed nice enough but her friends knew her...the real her. She sat down and let the water pour on her till the point where it turned cold. She wondered if she would ever see her friends again.


	11. Something That Wasn't There Before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dax and Negan have a moment! (I was totally thinking of Beauty and the Beast when I named this chapter ;))

After Dax dried off and got dressed from her shower she went and sat on the couch. She sat there for a while in deep thought, still trying to swallow everything that had happened since she regained consciousness. The whole 'wives' thing was bugging her out. She just couldn't wrap her head around the concept of multiple women pretty much sharing the same man and being perfectly OK with it. She's been into some freaky shit before and was no prude by any means but it all still seemed very taboo to her. Then again, this was Negan we were talking about so there was not much surprise there. Then she got to thinking about Negan.

A very complex man indeed. One minute he was a jolly hoot and the next he was in total beast 'I'm going to rip your dick off and make you throw it in the dirt' mode. He said that they were even but she still wondered where they stood exactly. This was the first time they had been cordial to one another since they met and she didn't really know what to make of it. The fact that he cared about what happened enough to drop everything he originally had planned for her and to try to make her comfortable showed something in his character that she didn't see before. There might actually be some compassion hidden underneath all that black leather. For Christ's sake he gave her his room! Maybe he did have some morals after all? She felt guilty for starting to like him after everything he did to her people. 

Now she wasn't totally blind sided by Rick. She had a way of being able to take her head out of the box and see the bigger picture. Rick DID slaughter a whole compound of Negan's people for pretty much no reason. That alone is enough to make someone seek revenge and she heard stories from Rick's group that they have retaliated before when other groups have tried to fuck them over. That was just how life was now days and it would be the pot calling the kettle black in this case. Only now, she was seeing the fallen members of the outposts as fathers, husbands, boyfriends, and sons as she got to learn the people of the Sanctuary.

All this thinking was giving her a headache. If only she could find something to do to occupy her time. She wasn't comfortable enough to walk around the Sanctuary yet by herself and she couldn't picture walking next door and hanging out and gossiping with Sherry and the harem girls. She could read a book from his collection but she didn't have the mind set to stay focused. So, she did what most women do when they are bored and out of options. She cleaned. 

She figured this would be a good way to show Negan that she was ready to move on from their differences and start with a clean slate...literally. She reorganized his CD's, movies and books in ABC order. She then found cleaning supplies and wiped down just about every surface in his home, including the floor which was disgusting. Moving on from there she then went to clean the shower and finished off with the small kitchen. By the time she was done the place was glistening. It also smelled much cleaner as well. Just for shits and giggles she even found a little scented candle that she lit and set on the coffee table. It gave the place a homey feel. Sitting back on the couch and admiring all her work, she pulled her feet up and leaned on the arm rests. She began to feel drowsy from all the cleaning she just did and decided to rest her eyes a little. Moments after she closed them, she passed out. 

Negan was walking down the hall way to his room. He wasn't planning on staying there with Dax. He fully planned on crashing with one of his wives but he was going to need some clothes and things for the morning. Plus, he wanted to check on her to see how she was making out here. He dismissed the gaurd and then he stood out front of his room, knocking lightly on the door. Normally he would just barge in, it's his place anyway, but he didn't want to catch her off guard and spook her so this was his way of giving her a heads up. As he waited her caught a whiff of fresh lemon and bleach? When there was no answer he opened the door and peeked his head in. She was passed out on the couch, lightly snoring. 

As Negan stepped in her took a look around, She cleaned his whole damn room and boy did it look great. Needless to say he was impressed. He stopped and admired her sleeping figure. 'How adorable' he thought as his eyes trailed over to the bed. He sighed, looked back at her and shook his head in disapproval. 'This just won't do' he said to himself. 

Dax awoke to the feeling of being hoisted up in the air. She scrambled a bit, training her mind back to where she was when she felt her hands grab leather. She froze and turned to look Negan in the eyes. He was lifting her up off the couch. They stared at each other awkwardly for a moment before Dax asked "Wha...What are you doing?" "Darling I said you could stay in my room, that didn't mean that you had to sleep on the fucking couch, I'm an gentlemen and if I invite a lady over, she sleeps in the bed" He explained, giving her a wink. "Oh so I'm a lady now" Dax joked to his surprise. Negan chuckled. "Don't push it" he joked back. Dax smiled. "Uh...Negan?" "Yes doll?" "You can put me down now". "As you wish princess" He responded, gently setting her down on the couch and then took a seat next to her. "So" he began. "How are you liking it here so far?"

"Well, it's a lot bigger then I imagined. The few people that Sherry introduced me on the tour to seem nice, it's all still just so new to me though" She shrugged. "Ehh in time, you'll warm up, by the way darling I love what you did to the place, to what do I owe to the pleasure for this nice surprise" Negan commented, referring to all the work she did. "Ohh, yes..that" Dax said modestly. "I just wanted to find a way to prove to you that I want to restart with a clean slate. I know we both said and did some harsh things but i'm willing to put it behind us and let it go. I've done some thinking and i figured if i'm going to be here a while, I don't want to be miserable". Negan studied her a moment, as if he was trying to find a crack in her words and then his lips grew into a smile. 

"Well, that's mighty big of you doll, and I do appreciate the gesture, like I said I called us even so as long as you follow the rules and abide by my commands we should have no problems, if you want to start over, that's fine by me". Dax smiled. She shifted to where she was sitting criss-cross on the couch in front of him and held out her hand. "I'm Dax" She said directing her smile toward him and introduced herself as if they were meeting for the first time. Negan smiled showing off his pearly whites as he slightly tilted his head back and gave a small chuckle. He looked back at her and returned the hand shake. "I'm Negan, and it is a damn pleasure to make your acquaintance" He said, bringing her hand up to his lips and placing a gentle kiss on the top of it. "My my, are you always this charming when you meet someone for the first time" Dax said in light sarcasm. "Only when they are not trying to deck me in the face" Negan joked and Dax threw a pillow at him laughing. 

"Well I'll leave to to it, I just came here to grab a few things and then I'll be out of your hair" Negan said standing up. Dax dropped her smile. "Where are you going to sleep?" She asked. "Ehh I'll find a friend to shack up with, don't you worry yourself about me, I'll be fine". His back was now turned towards her as he bent down to his dresser to grab some clothes. Dax's face pulled into a mischievous smile. "A friend....or a wife?" She teased. She knew she was testing the waters. Negan stood straight up and froze as he processed what she just said. He slowly turned around. "Who told you that?". Dax gave him a smirk. "Who do you think....ha ha come on, you do realize that I would have found out sooner or later right?" Negans eyes burned into hers. 

"Look, don't worry about it, I've done some freaky stuff too back in the day I mean come on, look at me, I'm not exactly a Sunday school kinda girl...Far be it from me to judge, I'm just saying, they do live right next door". Negan's face pulled into a devious smirk. "Really now, that cross you have on your back would say otherwise" he said, changing the subject. "Ohh that" She said reaching up and running an hand over her back. "That actually has a different meaning then you would think". "Do fucking tell" he shot back, cocking an eye brow at her. "Maybe some other time" she said pursing her lips. "What ever you say doll face, I'll see ya in morning" He said heading towards the door.

Dax's eyes went wide. "Wait" she weakly called out to him before he opened the door. Negan stopped in his tracks and turned around. "What is it sweetheart?" He asked gently. Dax paused, trying to think of a way to formulate her words. "You know you don't have to go, unless you want to...it's just that...I don't know..I guess I'm still a little shaken up from everything. I'd rather not be alone tonight." She teethed her bottom lip. Negan crossed his arms over his chest and studied her. When he realized that she was actually being serious he sighed and lightly nodded. "You know, you're lucky I'm starting to develope a sweet spot for you, move over" He said as he made his way back over to the couch. "Thank you" Dax said giving him a wide smile. He returned it with a wink as he grabbed a throw for the couch and laid it down. 

"Well I guess this is goodnight, I'll see you tomorrow" Dax said standing up and making her way over to the bed. "Goodnight sweetheart". Negan picked up his clothes, went in the bathroom and shut the door. Dax crawled into the bed and it was so comfortable she felt like she could stay there forever. He bed at home had nothing on this one. She heard the usual bathroom sounds and then heard the water turn on. A few moments later he came out, dressed in plaid PJ bottoms and a white t-shirt. He stepped over to the couch and made himself comfortable. Not long after that, Dax dozed off to the light sounds of him snoring.


	12. The Truth Will Set You Free

Down in the North side of the Sanctuary, Daryl was being walked back to his cell from his daily dose of grunt work. He just had the pleasure of assisting the front walls with the new batch of dead heads. It was a steaming hot day out and his dirty sweat suit did nothing to relive him of the heat exhaustion so this was one of the few times he was actually happy to return to his cell. He was feeling very agitated because he was so worn down and Dwight's constant shoves and bullying was working his last nerve. The only thing that plagued his mind to keep him going was the hope of revenge in the near future. 

As they were making their way down the hallway, the doors from the opposite end opened up and Mark casually strolled through them. Daryl looked up at him through his stringy hair and his eyes narrowed as they made contact with Mark's. Mark gave him a smug look and nodded to Dwight as they were about to pass by. Daryl didn't realize that he must have slowed his pace because Dwight gave him another rough shove. It was enough to make Daryl snap and as he was propelled forward, he kept the momentum and used it to collide in with Mark. 

He punched him in the face and had him down on the ground before Dwight could even react. Daryl pinned him to the floor and started to wail punches to his face. He was in such a rage Dwight could not pull Daryl off of him. Daryl felt Mark's nose break on contact and then all he could see was red. He brutally raped a defenseless woman and the fact that he was still walking around was enough to send Daryl over the edge. Daryl grabbed Mark by the shoulders and slammed him down on the concrete hard enough to make his head bounce and he went to go hit him again but felt two sets of firm arms grab him and yank him up. 

When Daryl regained his awareness, there was a group of Saviors now gathering around from all the commotion. Two of them had Daryl pinned up against the wall as another two helped Mark to his feet. Before anyone could react any further, the distinctive two toned whistle echoed throughout the hallway. Seconds after, Negan strolled lazily into the scene with Lucille propped up on his shoulder. 

"Well well well" Negan began, wearing his normal wolfish grin. "What could we possibly have here". Negan observed the scene before him. With all eyes locked on him, his eyes trailed to Daryl, to Dwight, to Mark, to Daryl's hands, and then back to Daryl. "Ohh I KNOW you didn't do what I think you just did, Oh Lucille, your going to have some fun today, beating up one of my men? You must want a death wish" Negan grew serious. "D....what happened?" Negan asked, not breaking eye contact with Daryl who just glared back at him. "I was walking him back to his cell and he just went crazy and jumped on Mark, I couldn't stop him" Dwight explained. Negan panned his eyes to Mark. "That true?" he asked. Mark nodded his head as he applied pressure to his nose. 

Negan closed his eyes for a moment and deeply breathed in. When he opened his eyes he fixed them on Daryl. "Now Daryl, I know you damn well know what the consequences are for a Stupid outburst like this...I also know you are not that stupid because I have seen and heard just what the fuck you are capable of, so I ask you this, why would you beat up poor little Mark here."

Daryl looked down at the floor and then back at Negan. It took him a moment to decide if he wanted to answer. After weighing his options, he said in a low voice "He's the one who raped that girl in the cell that night, I saw him walk to the East hallway". Negan tightened his jaw at Daryl's response. His eyes turned black as they were fixed on Daryl's expression, looking for any trace that he might be lying, but not finding one. He then turned and studied Mark. Mark's mouth was drawn in a tight line and he shook his head back and forth as he tried to look angry at Daryl's response but Negan could still make out the fear in his eyes. He turned his gaze back to Daryl.

"Now, that is QUITE the assumption there...Now the question is...How do I know your not lying to me just to get on my good side or just to resolve some personal shit that you may have against Mr. Marky Mark here ". Negan had a good feeling that he was telling the truth just because he was starting to get a good feel of the kind of person Daryl was but he had to be sure. 

Daryl kept his eyes narrowed and said "You don't, but you know how to find out". The hallway grew quite as Negan's eyes continued to bore into Daryl's. His stern look then lightened up with a smile as he said "Right I do...How about we all go pay a certain damsel in distress a little visit...maybe she can shed some light on this shitty situation".

 

 

Dax was laying on the couch, nose deep in a book when she heard a knock at the door. She immediately tensed up and pulled herself to a sitting position. She stared at the door in fear and then flinched when she heard the knock again. She slowly got up and made her way to the door. "Wh...Who is it?" She stuttered. "It's Dwight, open up". She sighed in relief and opened the door to see Dwight standing there as she expected. "Hey...what up?" she asked casually. "Come on, the boss wants to see you". "What? Why? What's going on?" Dax began to panic. "It will be OK, come on, your alright". 

Dax nervously followed him, shutting and locking the door behind her. "Can you at least give me an idea what this is about" She questioned. Dwight just turned to her and gave her a reassuring look that made her anxious. She could feel her heart beat increase as she trailed behind him. They went up a couple of floors and walked through a double set of doors into a long room. "Well hey there sweetheart, how you liking your new digs" Negan greeted her warmly as they walked up to him. Dax looked at him in confusion. "What's going on Negan?" She asked as she tried to scan her brain for anything that she could have possibly done wrong in the past twelve hours. 

Before Negan could answer, Daryl slowly appeared from behind him. His eyes filled with dread when he saw Dax, coming to the confirmation that it was Dax that Mark got ahold of after all. As bad as it sounds, he was really hoping it would have been someone else. Before any one could say another word, Dax shoved past Negan crying "Oh my God! DARYL" as she ran up to him and threw her arms around him tightly. Daryl slowly hugged her back gently in apprehension. Dax pulled away and grabbed his face and held it close to hers as she studied him. "Are you OK?" She frantically asked, moving hair out of his face to further inspect him. "I'm fine Dax, really, it will be OK" Daryl responded looking her in the eyes. Before Dax could piece together what he could possibly mean by the Negan spoke again. 

"It seems Daryl here has some big news for us. We just got done having a nice little chit chat about one of my men and he has made quite an interesting accusation, Now because I cannot just jump and start bashing peoples heads in all over the word of one individual, I was hoping maybe you could clear this up for us". Negan stood behind Dax and gave her a gentle nudge forward. He turned her around and practically whispered "If this gets to be too much for you, you let me know". Dax pulled her eyes in confusion and before she could decipher what he could possibly mean, Negan turned to his two men at the door and said "Send him in". As they waited, Negan set Lucille down and put his hands lightly on Dax's shoulders as if he was giving her some kind of comfort. 

The doors opened and the two men that walked out now had another man with them. This man's face was bruised and disheveled and he had blood smears down the front of his shirt. When he came in he stopped dead in his tracks and looked at Dax in fear. Dax studied him for a moment. With her brows furrowed and eyes narrowed, she was trying to place where she has seen him before. "This is Mark, Mark, this is Dax, but judging by that look on your face, I can see you two have already met" Negan said bluntly. Dax studied him for another moment more. He looked so familiar, as she tried to scan her memory, it was like a flash hit her brain and it all came flooding in at once. She started to hyperventilate. Even through the fear in his eyes, all she could make out was that creepy smile and those demonic eyes. 

'I was the one who brought you those snacks"

'You have a beautiful singing voice'

'Girls around here don't look like you'

'Shut the fuck up you dirty little cunt, you say another word and I will kill you, you hear me? I WILL KILL YOU'

Memory after memory repeatedly hit her brain. All she wanted to do was run away as fast as she could, get as far as she could away from HIM. Dax let out a cry, turned and ran right into Negan's chest. She tried to claw away from him to run away but he held her to prevent her from bolting. He looked down at her, briefly softening his eyes and pulling them into concern as she tried to hide her face so she didn't have to look at her attacker. He then pulled his eyes back into his sinister smirk and directed it to Mark. "Just the confirmation I needed, throw him in a cell till we figure out what to do with this sorry excuse for a man" He turned around, pulling Dax with him and let her run into Daryl's arms. She flew into Daryl and gripped him around his mid section, burrowing her face in his chest as she trembled and cried. She was shaking so hard it took effort just to remain on her feet. Dax could hear Mark's screams as he was being dragged away. 

Negan stayed quiet as he let Daryl comfort Dax and let her have her moment after everything she had just went through. While Daryl was comforting Dax, he and Negan were exchanging glances. Daryl grabbed her head and directed her gaze to his. looking her in the eyes he told her "It will be OK". 

"Well now, since I'm a man of my word, I promised a reward to who ever had a lead on the new Sanctuary rapist...Since that reward was triple points and ol' Daryl here is not on the point system, I've thought long and hard at what I could possibly do for him and I've come to a solution". Dax slowly turned to face him, still in Daryl's arms. Negan was now leaning against the table with his legs crossed and Lucille back over his shoulder. 

"I have to keep at least one of you here to show Rick the prick that I still mean business buuuuuuttt in light of Daryl's recent turn over I decided to let him choose which one of you gets to go home. Now this offer is only good for the next few minutes so I suggest you make a decision soon, So what will it be Daryl, you or Dax?"

Dax stared at Negan with wide eyes and then looked back at Daryl. She couldn't believe what Negan was making him do. Daryl stared back at her and then looked back and forth between her and Negan. "I suggest you give me an answer soon, times uh tickin', and I'll also add that not making a decision is a BIG decision, so what will it be?"

"Me" Daryl said before Dax could even predict or plead with him over who to pick. Dax released him and slowly stepped back, giving Daryl a mixed look. Negan stared at Daryl with a grim expression. He was just as surprised as Dax looked, though he wasn't going to show it, he really thought he would pick Dax. "Ooooh ice cold! So it shall be, congrats Daryl! You're a free man! And Dax, well it looks like we are going have time to get to know each other a little better after all" Negan said as he put his arm around Dax. She just continued to stare in horror at Daryl as he trained his expression to the floor. "Dwight, why don't you get Daryl a change of clothes here and escort his ass to the gate, I'm sure he wants to get back to his happy little Alexandria". "Yes sir" Dwight responded, grabbing Daryl by the arm and leading him out of the room. Dax made a motion to run after him but Negan held her in place. She still couldn't wrap her head around what just happened.

Negan crouched down so he was closer to her ear, his arm still around her. "I know that must have been just as much as a shock to you as it was me, to be perfectly honest, I really thought he was going to pick you". Dax just stared at the doors and watched him walk away through the glass. She had nothing to say and she had mixed feelings about Daryl's decision. He was in worse shape then her and she was happy that he was free from this place but at the same time she just wanted to go home more then anything. "Just please...get me out of here" Dax breathed. "As you wish sweetheart" Negan responded pulling her with him.


	13. Don't Let the Water Drag You Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan learns more about Dax as he unravels more of her past.

Negan walked Dax back to his room and stayed with her a while. When he opened the door she slowly trailed in behind him and took a seat on the couch. He went and sat across from her, hunched over with his expression trained on hers. She didn't seem to notice him as her eyes were fixed on the edge of the throw rug under the coffee table. They were still glassy and she kept twirling a piece of her blonde hair between her two fingers. She was still trying to digest everything that had just happened and Negan could practically see the thoughts running through her head. 

She felt truly alone here now. Not that much about her situation had really changed. She had no contact with Daryl up until this point since she got here and she still knew that she was going to be here a while. She knew Daryl was here the whole time and now knowing for sure that he was gone took away the luxury of being able to be around someone familiar to her. Now her and Daryl weren't best buddies my any means. The only time they interacted was when she tried to bum ciggs off of him and when he would occasionally sit in and watch her band play. That was about the extent of their relationship. Dax would try to talk to him back at Alexandria when they would smoke but he never said more then one or two words back to her. He never really talked to any of the Alexandria originals but he was the only one here that tied back to her home and now he was gone. 

She wasn't mad at him for picking himself over her. She was a little surprised and she would be lying if she said that she wasn't disappointed but like Daryl, she thought about this logically. She knew that eventually Rick would figure out a plan to get out from under Negan's thumb and when he did he would need as many of 'his' people on board to help make that happen. Dax was not one of those people. She was never used on runs or anything outside of Alexandria because Rick could not trust her. She was too unstable and did not take direction well from any one there. She knew that Rick would need Daryl to help take care of Negan and that is why Daryl picked himself. He was of more use to Alexandria and she wasn't. All she did way play music for the community and help out with the gardens and the children from time to time. She wasn't a soldier, Daryl was. 

And then there was the stigma of facing Mark. Her attacker. Her rapist. She wasn't sure if she was quite ready for all of that but she was happy that Negan made her face him because now she could deal with what happened to her and work through it. She just wished that someone could have given her a little heads up before she walked into the lions den. How the hell did Daryl even know it was Mark anyway? Now that the memories were there, she had no choice but to think about what happened and what was to become of him now. She was afraid to ask but still wanted to know. She had a lot to work through and she was getting a headache from all of the over flow of emotions and thoughts. Right now she just wanted to bury herself under Negan's covers and not come out until she was over it. 

"You OK over there doll?" Negan Broke the silence. Dax gave a small flinch and tore her eyes from the carpet to Negans. "Huh? Oh...Sorry...Just a lot on my mind right now". "Well I'll bet but your kinda worrying me over here, penny for your thoughts?" He asked in concern. Dax sighed. "I don't even know where to begin...That was a lot to take in just now and I'm still trying to figure out how to deal". "That's understandable. I hope you realize why I did what I did, I'm not saying that you have to fucking like it but I just hope you know why. I just put a lot on the line by giving him that choice but fair is fair. He put my mind at ease knowing that now that steaming pile of dog shit is where he belongs". Dax nodded her head and continued to look at him. "What are you going to do with...him?"

Negan gave her a half smile and said "Don't you worry your pretty little self over that. I will take care of it. Just know that he will get what he damn well deserves. Just worry about getting better...That's all I'm asking of you...For now". Dax's face pulled into a tight expression and then she just nodded again. There was so much in that sentence that she wanted him to elaborate on but she was so mentally exhausted, she didn't want to push it. 

"Before I forget" Negan said reaching in his jacket pocket. He pulled out a small white bottle and set it on the coffee table in front of her. "Here...The Doc wanted me to give these to you, said it should help with your pain and shit like that, he said to take two a day until your feeling better". Dax froze as she stared at the small bottle. "No" was all she could stammer out. Negan paused and looked at her, confusion drawing on his face. "Excuse me?" He asked, not sure why she was reacting like this. Dax's breathing began to pick up. "No..just take them back, I can't, just get rid of them" She said scooting further away from the bottle like it was a snake ready to strike. Negan looked from the bottle to Dax, not sure what the hell was going on. "Dax, they are just pills hunny, the Doc said-" He started but was cut off. "JUST FUCKING GET THEM OUT OF HERE, I DON'T CARE WHAT THE HELL DOC SAID, I DON'T FUCKING WANT THEM!"

"Excuse the shit out of my God Damn French doll but that is the last fucking time that you address me like that. Now I don't know what the hell has gotten your knickers in a twist all the sudden but you better tone it the fuck down start explaining". Dax didn't realize how hard she was gripping the couch until she felt her fingers ache. She took a deep breath and tried to get a grip on herself. She looked over at the pill bottle and then back to Negan's dark demanding eyes. He was waiting for an answer. "I'm sorry...It's just that...Fuck!" Dax started and then put her hands to her face. This was something that she had no intention telling any one about but the sight of that stupid pill bottle was forcing it out of her. "Well come on doll, spit it out, we haven't got all damn day" Negan said growing impatient. Dax took another deep breath. "When the world fell apart...I was in rehab...I used to be an addict" She said it like she was ripping off a band aid. 

Negan straightened up. "Wow...just when I thought I had you figured out..." He said, realizing she was much deeper then she led on."Yeah" Dax said looking away and shifting nervously on the couch. "Well...are you going to tell me about it" Negan asked pressingly. Dax brought her glance back up to him. "I guess it's the usual story. I fell in with the wrong crowd, it started off as just experimenting and then it got out of hand. I realized I had a problem when my brother caught me sneaking pills from my dad's medicine cabinet after he passed. I will never forget the look in his eyes when he saw me...I checked myself into rehab the next day. I was sober for four weeks when the dead took over, other then the occasional joint with my friends, I have never used since". Negan stared at her for a long moment, unsure of what to say. He made a motion to grab the pills and stuffed them back in his jacket pocket. Dax could feel herself relax instantly with them out of sight. 

Negan continued to stare at her and then sighed, softening his expression. "That must have taken a lot of nerve for you to tell me that, especially with everything that went down today." "Yeah...I guess so" Dax said looking away. Negan slowly nodded his head. "Well, I guess you will just have to deal with this the ol' fashioned way, sucks but I get it...Are you gonna be OK?" "Yeah, I have a lot to get over but I'll be fine...Eventually" Dax said giving him a half smile. "Well good to hear, I'll be back later, I have some things to go check up on...If you want, I can send Sherry in to sit with you for a bit" Negan eyed her. "No thanks, I'm fine, I just really want to sleep it off, I'll be better in the morning, I promise."

"Well alrighty then, I'll leave you to it, If you need anything, there is a radio in that drawer over there" He said using Lucille to point towards a cabinet against the wall. "Just turn it on and ask for me and I'll be here in a jiff...Unless you want me to stay, I know most women have a hard time resisting all of this" He said motioning his hands to the rest of his body. Dax snorted. "Good thing I'm not most women..Besides I don't think that would go over well with your wiveS" She said putting emphasis on the S. Negan chuckled. "Ohh don't worry doll, there is always room for one more". Dax narrowed her eyes, still smiling. "I'm sure I'll manage". "OK then, suit yourself, but if you change your mind..." Dax laughed lightly. His persuasion was admirable. "You know how to find me" he said giving her a wink. He got up and left her to wallow away in her thoughts.


	14. Maybe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dax adjusts to life at the Sanctuary.

It had been about a month since Dax arrived at the Sanctuary. She was all healed up now and was adjusting pretty well to her new life there, despite the circumstances. She still missed her old life back at Alexandria dearly but the life she was making here wasn't so bad. She finally had her own room which was actually pretty decent. It was right down the hall from Negan's and she actually didn't mind it because she was starting to be become friends with his wives. She was very surprised at her relationship with them considering that her first impression of them were little dolled up bimbos that knew nothing of how to survive in the world today. 

A few days after her confrontation with Mark, Sherry came and introduced her to the rest of the girls. She learned that their names were Amber, Tanya, and Frankie. She got along with Tanya and Frankie the best. Much to her surprise they actually had a lot in common and had similar tastes in music. When she told them that she had a band back at Alexandria, they were all kinds of excited and were full of questions. Tanya used to sing in off broad way shows so that was another element that helped them hit it off. Tanya and Frankie similar sad stories. They pretty much lost everyone and were on their own when Negan found them. Not long after bringing them back to the Sanctuary, he asked them to be his wives and promised them a life of luxury and pretty much whatever they wanted if they said yes, so they did. Even though it wasn't the ideal situation, they seemed OK with their decision and it got them off of the points system.

The only one who stayed clear of her was Amber, she seemed like the kind of girl who mostly looked after herself. Frankie was the one who told Dax that her and Mark used to be together so Dax understood why Amber stayed away from her. Amber agreed to be Negan's wife to help make her, her mom and Mark's life easier at the Sanctuary. She had never worked a day of her life in the old world and when the world fell she wasn't cut out for it so when Negan offered her an easier way out she took it and stopped seeing Mark. Dax assumed that that is what made him crazy and that is why he did what he did. Every now and then Dax would hear her make some snotty comment which she just ignored but other then that she mostly sulked and drank all day, only putting on fake smiles when Negan was around.

Dax also learned from the girls that the picture that Sherry painted of herself with Negan wasn't as jolly as she made it seem. They told her all about her, Dwight, and Sherry's sister and how Sherry had to agree to be one of his wives to save Dwight. She also learned about how Dwight got that nasty burn on the side of his face and that sickened Dax. She knew Negan was someone not to fuck with but after finding that out, it changed her view of him. She felt very lucky about her original run in with him and she was beginning to see just what he meant when he said that he could do so much worse. After learning about how Negan truly operated, she did her best to try to stay away from him. She was starting to get an idea of what his schedule was just from observation and she knew when to leave areas to avoid him. She usually only saw him when he was passing through and she would make herself scarce and try to stay out of his line of sight. 

As for how she was dealing with her attack, she was doing much better. Though she would never admit it to anyone, not even the girls, this was not the first time a man had taken advantage of her. This was a secret she kept away from everyone, not wanting any more pity then what was already bestowed upon her, but it helped her deal with what Mark did. She knew the steps she had to go through to get over this. She still had nightmares occasionally and she was a little more jumpy and cautious then she used to be but she was dealing. Negan had gotten her a job in the commissary which really helped and she was starting to really enjoy doing it.

The first few days were rough just because she was still getting used to everything but once she was comfortable, working there is what really helped her settle into her new life. It gave her a routine and a purpose and it helped her get to know more of the people around the Sanctuary. She realized that not all the people there were the big scary brutes like she thought they were. There were people there that were just like the people of Alexandria, people that were just trying to survive in this fucked up world. She was even starting to like her supervisor. Her name was Tina and like most people at the Sanctuary she came off like a hard ass but the more Dax worked there the more she learned that she was not all bad either. Tina was actually pretty cool and there were times that she reminded her of Deanna. She helped Dax gain some of her spunk back by their constant sassing back and forth and Dax admired her 'take no shit' kind of attitude. 

Her and Tina were finishing up for the day when a few of the Saviors came in and started unloading boxes. Tina was in the back totaling up today's points and Dax was out in the front waiting to get the OK from Tina to go back to her room. When the Saviors came in Dax let out a small groan and rolled her eyes. "Tina! We got another inventory in!" Dax called out to her. Tina peeked her head out from around the wall. "What? Are you fucking kidding me? We are just getting ready to finish up!" One of the Saviors dropped the last of the boxes on the floor and said "Well, looks like you will be here for the rest of the night, I suggest you get busy" with a smirk that Dax just wanted to slap off his face. "Fuck you Gavin, I know you guys came back from your run this morning and you just now bring us this shit you asshole!" Tina yelled, coming up front to see how much they brought. "Ohh don't be like that Tina, you should be lucky that you have us to bring it to you, then you would have to waddle down and carry all this shit back yourself" Gavin replied. "Whatever, go back to deep throating Negans cock and don't forget to floss your teeth with his dick hair, looks like they could use it". Dax chuckled. She loved how vulgar she could be sometimes. "You're a dirty woman Tina" Gavin said laughing and walking out with the other Saviors. 

Tina rolled her eyes and turned to Dax. "Well, there goes my plans for the night, I was going to go meet Tony in the commons. Guess that's not happening now" Tina said in disappointment. Dax looked at the boxes and then back at Tina. "You go, I got this, I have nothing going on the rest of the night". "Are you sure? We will get it done quicker if we both work on it, you have been here all day!" "It's cool, like I said I have no plans, I swear I'll be fine, you go meet your man, this will give me something to do". "Alright, if you say so, don't forget to log everything as you put it away, Negan will have my head if everything is not accounted for" Tina said picking up her water bottle. "OK, no problem, tell Tony i said hi" Dax replied, giving her a reassuring smile. "Will do, thank you so much, I'll see you tomorrow" Tina said and then she was gone. 

Dax sighed. She sat up on the counter like she usually did and looked out into the market place where everyone sold their goods for points. It was starting to empty out with it being the end of the day and the shop keepers were closing up their booths. She took a sip of water and turned her head to look at the pile of boxes the guys left. 'I guess I have my work cut out for me' Dax thought. She sat there for a few more minutes and then began putting stuff away. She was about halfway through when she started to lightly sing to herself.

If I fell in love with you  
Would you promise to be true  
And help me understand  
Cos I've been in love before  
And I found that love was more  
Than just holding hands

If I give my heart to you  
I must be sure  
From the very start  
That you would love me more than her

She was actually enjoying the quiet time she had to herself as she steadily put stuff away. She was really missing her guitar. At Alexandria she could sit and sing and play all day and she would try to keep herself busy at the Sanctuary to help with the withdrawals from not being able to play but she still missed the feeling of strumming her fingers over the stings dearly. She continued to sing. 

If I trust in you oh please  
Don't run and hide  
If I love you too oh please  
Don't hurt my pride like her  
Cos I couldn't stand the pain  
And I would be sad if our new love was in vain

So I hope you see that I  
Would love to love you-

 

Dax was in the middle of a note when she turned around and there, standing like a statue was Negan, propped up against a counter like he had been there all along. Dax jumped at let out a yell. "AHH! Oh my God, don't do that! You scared the shit out of me! How long have you been there!" Dax exclaimed putting her hand on her heart. Negan smirked. "Well hello to you to blondie, long time no see, I figured I'd come check on you and see how you were doing." Dax was still panting from his scare. "I'm fine, I've got lots of work to do as you can see, but I'm fine so...You can go now". Negan pushed himself off the counter and sauntered over to her. "Not so fast doll, come on, aren't you happy to see me?" Dax backed up a little. "Oh, yeah, of course, why wouldn't I be" Dax said plastering on a fake smile. Negan eyed her. "I don't know, why don't you tell me?" Dax shifted nervously. 

Learning of how brutal he could really be made her uneasy and at this moment she just wanted to get as far away from him as she possibly could. She didn't realize that she was beginning to shake, but Negan did. "Hey, hey, relax, whats going on with you?" He asked giving her a puzzled look, now standing directly in front of her. "Nothing, nothing at all" She said trying to keep up her fake smile. She was starting to feel cornered as he towered over her. He reached down and lightly touched her face, rubbing her cheek with his thumb. Dax could feel her heart beat in her chest. "It don't look like nothing" he said, his eyes piercing through hers. It was like he could see right through her. Dax looked away and didn't respond. She was scared. 

Negan softened his expression. "You know, I've been hearing a lot of good things about you. I have eyes and ears all over this fuckin' joint and everyone is telling me that you are starting to fit in here nicely, even my wives have taken a liking to you which is unusual. They can be quite bitchy if you know what I mean" He said gently, his eyes not leaving her face. Dax continued to look down, avoiding his gaze. She could feel her bottom jaw start to tremble in his hand. "Anyway, I just wanted to let you know what a good job your doing around here, there is no reason for you to be scared of me you know" he said as he continued to rub her cheek with his thumb. Dax took a deep breath. 

"I'm trying to not be but with all do respect, can you back up and give me some space...please" She asked, trying to not sound like she was giving him attitude. He continued to look at her through hooded eyes and he gave her a half smile. "As you wish" he said holding both his hands up as he took two steps back. Dax took another deep breath and she was able to relax a little more with him not in her personal space. "Thank you" she said, bringing her eyes back up to his and giving him a little smile. "No problem doll, see that wasn't so hard...You know, despite what others may say, I'm not unreasonable...I have never punished anyone who didn't deserve it, the rules are here for a reason and my brutality is my way of enforcing them and trust me, I don't do that shit just to fucking do it. All the people you see here, they are just as important as yours truly and with out them, we would have none of this" He said, using his hands to gesture to the rest of the Sanctuary. "So basically what I'm saying doll is that if your good to me, I'll be good to you. If your bad to me...well...lets just hope we never end up there". Dax nodded, biting her lip. His presence still made her a little uncomfortable but she got what he was saying. He put his hands down in front of him and continued to look at her, smiling.

"You know, you have the most beautiful voice I have heard in a very long fucking time, you should sing more often. Every now and then Tanya will spit out a tune, but she ain't got nothin' on you baby doll." Dax gave him a polite smile and said thank you. "Your welcome, but really, you should sing more, this place could use a little more of that....Why don't you come up to my room for a drink tomorrow night, after your done here. I want to get to know more about the newest member of the Sanctuary, I think we are over due for another chit chat, what do ya say?" Dax's eyes went wide. She was not expecting this offer from him and she didn't know what to do. "I...I..Uh...Well..." She started, not really knowing how to respond. "Just say yes" Negan cut her off. Dax looked at him, pausing for a moment to read his expression. From what she could tell, it looked genuine. "Ok then, yes, yes I will meet you for a drink" She said as if she just agreed to a normal date with a normal person. Negans lips peeled back into a smile. "Splended, great answer! Looks like I'll be seeing you tomorrow then doll, don't be late" He said as he left here there, dumbfounded. Dax let out a sharp breath. She couldn't help to think 'What the fuck did I just get myself into'. 

After Dax finished up her work, she went to go back up to her room. She was exhausted and all she wanted to do was climb into bed and pass out. She figured she would shower in the morning. As she climbed up the stairs, she couldn't help but wonder why Negan wanted to meet with her tomorrow. If he wanted company, he had four wives to pick from and a boat load of Saviors to hang back with, so why her? She didn't understand it. She shrugged it off and tried to push it away and worry more about it tomorrow. Right now she was just too damn tired, that inventory wiped her out along with her nerves still being shot from the encounter with Negan. 

She came to her door and unlocked it. she opened it up and threw her key on the small table in her room. She gasped and froze when she turned to face her bed. 'It can't be' she thought. There and her bed, neatly placed, was her guitar. She blinked a few times, not knowing if she was imagining it. She must have, there was no other way. Last time she saw it was when she placed it on the roof of her house in Alexandria. "Oh my God" She breathed out, covering her mouth with her hand. Her eyes started to water she was so happy. She slowly walked over to it, almost expecting it to vanish when she saw piece of paper folded up next to it. She picked it up and there was a note written on it that said "Maybe I'm not such a bad guy after all." Dax held the paper close to her chest and smiled. "Maybe" she whispered. "Maybe."

Song credit goes to The Beatles: If I fell in love


	15. It's Just One of Those Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dax braces herself for her meeting with Negan.

(Just wanted to take a second to explain this chapter, it is kind of a prequel to the next chapter, that's why this one was so short. Next chapter is going to have a lot of dialog between Dax and Negan and I really want to put my whole focus on that scene so I figured I'd bang out all the small details tonight. I promise tomorrow's update will be longer!)

 

Dax abruptly awoke the next day to the sound of her alarm. 6:30. She had to be at the commissary by 7:30. She groaned and slowly rolled herself to the edge of her bed. She sat there for a moment, stalling to start her day. She had been working there for about two weeks now and was still not used to these damn mornings. Today was her meeting with Negan and she didn't sleep much that night from getting her guitar back. She played last night until her fingers throbbed because she had so many emotions to strum out and she has missed playing so much. She got a little carried away with the time and she went to bed a little after 2am. Now it was time to get ready for the next day and she felt groggy and not with it. 

She finally stood up and threw on a ripped grey shirt and a pair of jean shorts with a pair of sneakers. She fluffed her hair a put on a little bit of eye liner and was out the door. On her way to go down to the cafeteria for some breakfast, she ran into Tanya. "Hey girl! Good morning," She greeted Dax. Dax looked at her with a blank and tired expression and let out groan that sounded something like 'morning'. Tanya laughed. "Not a morning person huh? Neither is Amber or Frankie, they always sleep through breakfast." "Yeah I know, they usually come to the commissary around 1 for snacks," Dax replied faintly. 

Her and Tanya walked to the cafeteria together barley saying two words to each other. She appreciated that Tanya was giving her the silence she craved this early in the morning. She really didn't want her or anyone to know that she was meeting with Negan tonight. She still wasn't exactly sure how she felt about that. She knew that they were cool now and after his little speech last night she knew that he wasn't going to hurt her, so there should be no reason for her to be nervous....Right? Even though she was in the clear with him, she would be lying if she said he didn't make her uneasy. 

And then there was the question of why? Why did he want to meet with her? Why her of all people? What was so special about her? Could it be to get intell on Rick? She couldn't imagine what he would want to know, Rick kept her out of most of their business and last time she checked, Negan had Rick right where he wanted him. Even if Rick was planning something, She has been here the whole time so how would she even know? She just didn't get it. 

After breakfast she said her good byes to Tanya and started heading to the commissary. There wasn't too many people up and about so the Sanctuary was pretty quiet. The commissary was usually the first thing to open due to people needing their necessities such as cigarettes, tampons, and Advil. Think of it like the local gas station of the Sanctuary. 

There was already a few people waiting outside for them to open early. Dax rolled her eyes when she walked up and started helping Tina set up for the day. She pretty much buried herself in her work and tried not to think about what Negan could possibly have in store for tonight. Luckily they were swamped today and she was able to keep herself busy. 

At the end of the day when the commissary closed and Tina and Dax parted ways, Dax found herself standing in front of Negan's door. "Well, this is it" She said to herself. Right when she was about to knock she heard the door next to his open up. She turned and saw Amber coming out of the room where she stayed with the other wives. She froze when she saw Dax. The locked eyes for a moment and Dax slowly held her hand up and gave a small wave. Busted. Amber gave her a nasty glare and slowly closed the door, going back in the room. 

Dax let out a breath of air. "Fuck" she muttered. She knew that Amber was going to blab this to the others and then she was going to have to answer questions that she more then likely wouldn't want to answer. Dax figured 'whatever,' she will deal with it as it comes, it's not like she could do much about it right now. She shrugged and knocked on the door. She waited a minute and just when she was about to knock again she heard a deep familiar voice say "Come in."

 

(I just wanted to remind everyone that you can also find this story on Watt Pad. Its under the same story name and username and that version is cool because I threw a lot of gifs and images in to illustrate the story. There is also pictures and gifs of the actress who I picture to play Dax. Anyway thank you to who ever has stuck out this story with me and is still reading! )


	16. Just Play the Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan has plans for Dax's future.

Dax slowly opened the door and peered in. She scanned the room and her eyes landed on Negan who was sitting on the couch hunched over the coffee table. There were a few papers spread out in front of him and he looked as if he could be in the middle of doing his taxes. "Well hello there blondie, just the girl I've been waiting for, come on in, make yourself at home, we both know you're not a stranger," He said giving her a wink. Dax stepped in and took a look around. No much had changed since she left, it was still the same extravagant room as it was before. She gave him a polite smile, not really knowing what to say to him.

"Oh now your going to go all shy on me? Come on over, sit, be my guest," Negan said warmly. Dax sauntered over to the couch and took a seat next to him. He closed up his papers in a folder and turned to face her with his usual grin. "Look Negan," Dax began. "About last night, what you did for me...that was...I mean you have no idea-" Negan cut her off. "If your looking for a way to thank me baby doll, well... hee he, I got a couple of ideas," He flashed a devilish smile. Dax let out a breath and smiled at him. She didn't know what came over her but the next moment she sprang from where she was sitting and wrapped her arms around him, taking him off guard. She felt Negan tense and then slowly he patted her arms, not fully returning the embrace. In his ear she whispered "Thank you," and then slowly returned back to her spot, amazed at herself that she did that. Negan stared at her thoughtfully for a moment. Not long after his face crinkled up into a smile. "If I knew you were going to jump my bones over this gesture then I would have grabbed the damn thing weeks ago."

Dax giggled and rolled her eyes. "Yeah well, don't let it get to your head," she joked back. "Too late princess." He flicked his eye brows at her. "How did you even know where to find it?" She asked. There was no way he would think to look on the roof. "Simple, I just asked that Fabio wanna be mother fucker that I always see you with. Took them a minute but Lucille has a way of lighting a fire under people, she always makes sure I get what I want." When Negan saw the look Dax was giving him at that statement he rolled his eyes. "Oh don't worry doll, I promise you I didn't kill anyone, Lucille stayed clean for the whole process, scout's honor" He said holding his hand up. She took a deep breath and smiled. 

Her smile soon faded into a frown when she asked. "Why am I here Negan?" Negan got up and walked over to his mini bar and poured a flask of amber liquid into a glass tumbler. He grabbed another glass and reached for the flask again and then paused. He held his finger up in the air for a second and then walked behind his bar and pulled out a can of coke and poured it in the second glass and then poured the rest of it in the first glass. He looked over his shoulder and gave her a smirk. "What was your role in Alexandria exactly...What did you do when you weren't Miss punk rock princess?" He asked while giving the first glass a light stir.

Dax blinked at him in confusion. Did he really just blow over her question? "Wow, OK, we're really gonna do this, OK then, Well I mostly helped with the garden and I would look after some of the children there every now and then. They liked it when I played and sang for them." Negan came and sat down next to her and handed her the glass of just Coke. "Well it's no wonder why, with a voice like that, well, you definitely caught my attention," he said taking a sip of his drink. Dax smiled at him. "So, Rick the prick never took you out on runs or anything huh?" Dax shuffled and looked down. "No, not really. I used to go out before Deanna passed but once Rick took over I did my best to stay away from him. His people pretty much took over on the runs and everything had to be approved by him. He probably didn't want to use me because of my temper, he couldn't trust me."

Negan raised his eye brows. "Deanna?" he questioned. "Ohh...yeah...Rick wasn't the original founder of that place, she was. When she passed Rick took over and things were never the same." Negan nodded as if he understood. He could see that Deanna was a sore subject for her so he quickly changed it. "Sounds like you and ol' Ricky aren't exactly the best of friends." Dax paused for a moment. "I guess you could say that, I don't hate the guy but we just never saw eye to eye. He always seemed like he knew everything and in the beginning he downed the people of Alexandria about their survival skills. I mean I guess he was kinda right but I feel like he could have gone about it a different way." "Yeah, I get what your saying" Negan responded taking another sip. There was a bit of an awkward silence.

"Who taught you to play guitar?" he finally asked. "My dad and my brother, my dad was in a musician in the 80's and he made sure he passed that legacy to us, he wanted us to be well saturated in the world of rock bands, after parties, and raving till you to toss your cookies the next morning. Most parents want their kids to be doctors or lawyers but no, not my dad. He had a dream for both of his kids to be rock stars and that is all he ever saw in us, I guess only one of us almost filled the shoes." Negan stared at her as if he was reading into what she just said. "What happened to them?"

Dax wasn't ready to talk about that question with him so instead, she played his games. "Why do you call your bat Lucille" Dax regretted her question the moment it came out of her mouth. Negan's expression darkened so much it gave her chills. "We don't have to talk about it, it was just a question" She didn't mean to strike a nerve. He sighed and looked down at his glass. "She was my wife...I guess my ex wife now...She was gone before all of this happened" he said after a few moments. "I'm sorry" Dax said, reaching out to touch his hand. Negan looked down at her hand on his and then stood up and went to go refill his drink. Dax wondered if Lucille was the one who had a hand in how he was today, for the first time she thought maybe he wasn't always like this but then again, who was?

He took a sip of his drink and then slowly turned around. "What if I told you that I wanted you to become a Savior?" Dax couldn't have been more blown away. She looked around as if there was someone else sitting in the room with them and then pointed to herself "Me? Why on Earth would you want to do that?" He had to be crazy. "I have my reasons, you still didn't answer my question." Dax exhaled sharply. "Why me of all people? I just told you that I never went on runs, that Rick couldn't trust me because of my attitude and now your asking me? The one who you brought here against her will...The one who spit in your face?! To become a Savior?"

Negan strolled across the room and took his spot back next to her, leaning in so his face was closer to hers. "You know what you should really be asking yourself is why I wouldn't want you playin' for my team. You underestimate yourself! I don't see the girl that you or even that stupid fuck Rick sees, you wanna know what I see? I see a bad ass chick that doesn't back down from a challenge, I see a girl who spits in dangers face and then tells it to go fuck itself... Twice, I see someone who fights and defends the side that she's on and I see someone who goes through what should be a tramatic experience and gets over it and doesn't let it bring her down...Let me tell you something, the first time I saw you on that stage, I knew you were fierce, you showed me that you had no fear when you damn well should have...You kept playing on like you had something to prove, and I like that shit. Rick, well hes a fucking idiot for not being able to see what I see. You are a strength hunny, not a weakness and the way I see it, it is HIS loss". Negan preached, drawing out his words.

He paused for a moment to let Dax take in what he just said. Dax was speechless. No one has ever said anything like that to her and she was so blown away she didn't know how to respond. "Now tell me, why wouldn't I not want to harness that kind of fire. You are fearless and I want people like you on my side, you have a bigger set of lady nuts on you then some of my top guys. Together I think we can accomplish great things, all you have to do is say yes."

Dax stayed silent, weighing the option in her head. "What if I say no?" she asked. "Well if you say no, then you say no...No hard feelings..You go back to your shit job working for shit points, and well, life goes on." Dax thought about it for a moment. "And if I say yes?" Negan's lips peeled back into a smile. "If you say yes you will make me a very happy man, along with that you will be off the point's system, you get to have whatever you want, you get to go out, have adventures, get me awesome shit and you get to be one of the top dog's in this place". Dax sighed. she had a big decision to make and she decided to turn this into a negotiation.

"If I say yes....I want you to leave Alexandria alone." Negan snapped his head to look at her. "No" he said without even giving it thought. Dax figured it was worth a shot. "Oh come on! Why not? I know you have plenty of other communities that you take from and I know how much stuff Alexandria gives you, it won't be a big loss," She tried to argue. Negan's face grew grim. In a low voice he said "You know why, and it is not up for debate, drop it." Dax huffed. "OK, counter offer....instead of taking from them once a week, you take from them once a month, and I'll say yes to being a Savior." Negan chuckled. "You just don't get it do you, it's not about the stuff it's about the new world order, it's about respect, it's about me not letting Mr. Rick get away with slaughtering a whole fucking out post full of my guys, the answer. Is. No!"

Dax bite her lip. "How about every two weeks?" Negan threw his hands up and said "You just don't know when to quit do you?" Dax gave him a sweet and innocent smile. She knew she was pushing it but she had to try. Negan let out a deep sigh. "OK fine! Fuck! Two weeks! That's it! Don't ask me again! Do we have a deal or what?" He snapped. She could tell he was losing his patience. Dax closed her eyes and grinned. "Yes, we have a deal, I'll join the Saviors" She said as she stuck her hand out. Negan returned the hand shake and her smile. "That's what I want to hear baby doll, we will start training you tomorrow, you will meet with Ford out in the field at 9:00 sharp, we will get you to be a soldier in no time." Dax nodded. "I promise you won't regret this, it's gonna be fun, you and me, out on runs, you following my command like the good girl I know you will be, finding me cool shit, you'll see. You will be wishing that I asked you weeks ago." he said with that cocky smile never leaving his face. Dax rolled her eyes. He had no clue what he was getting himself into. This was gonna be fun alright.

Dax took another sip of her drink. She noticed that he was almost done with his second drink when she got a whiff of booze off of him. He just sat there still smiling at her. He was pretty handsome, she gave him that. He could be charming too when he wasn't being a jerk. "You know, I kinda miss ya since you moved out" He said through hooded eyes. Dax scoffed. "Oh yeah, this coming from a guy who has four wives?" "What is with you and my wives? Jeeze girl, your always bringing them up...If I didn't know any better I'd say they offend you". "Well I wouldn't say that they offend me considering we are actually becoming friends but I mean come on, you can't blame me for thinking it's a little bizarre, I thought that only men in foreign countries take up multiple wives". "Well, maybe they have something figured out that we don't?" Negan shot back. Dax narrowed her eyes at him and smiled. "Touche'" She said. 

Negan smirked at her and moved a little closer. Putting his hand on her knee he said "You know, there is always room for one more, all you have to do is say yes." He gave her knee a little squeeze. 'Damn, why does he have to be so hott' Dax admitted to herself for the first time. In any other scenario he totally would have been up her ally. He was tall, handsome, had that bad boy persona going on and she had always been into older men. They always seemed to know what they were doing when it came to intimate things. "You are quite the charmer you know...but your still an ass" she said patting his hand. "Ohh so you think I'm charming now" Negan said, now grabbing her hand. Dax's heart was beginning to make it's presence known. 

"OK, I think that's a wrap for tonight. Thank you for your offer and I will be there tomorrow at 9 as promised" Dax said standing up. Negan stood with her and stepped in her space. Her heart was pounding now but she didn't feel scared she felt....something different. He remained smiling down at her. He let go of her hand and brought his thumb up to her cheek like he did the day before only this time Dax didn't back away. Looking into her eyes he said "You know, you really are something." He was looking at her like they were the only two people in the world and it made Dax weak at the knees. 'Oh what the hell, you only live once' Dax thought. She lifted herself up on her tip toes, grabbed the sides of his face, and closed the distance between them, planting a kiss right on his lips.

Dax could feel him tense in surprise and then he slowly wrapped one arm around her waist and one around her neck, deepening the kiss. Dax felt electric like pulses running through her body and she felt more alive then she had in a long time. She was not scared of him and he actually made her feel safe. Dax bit his bottom lip and then as if following her lead he did the same. Their tongues found each other and he began to lean into her so hard he made her arch her back backwards. If he wasn't holding on to her she would have fell to the ground and she gripped on to his arms for support. He was an amazing kisser.

When they finally released each other, they were both speechless for a while and they looked into each other's eyes as if they were asking 'what the hell just happened?' Both of their lips pulled back to a smile and then Negan broke the silence. "Well, that just made our little deal a whole lot more interesting." They both were still trying to catch their breath. Dax gave him a mischievous smirk knowing she had his ball in her court. She gave him a quick peck on the lips and said "Goodnight Negan" and walked out the door feeling like a boss. She took one last look at Negan who was standing there like she had just ripped the rug out from underneath him. She closed the door and took a deep breath, wondering if she was going to regret what she just did. She stopped and thought about it. "Nahh" She said feeling quite pleased with herself. This was the first time she got one up on him and she was going to enjoy every minute of it.


	17. Don't Knock the Way Another Cat Swings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dax makes a new friend!

Dax woke up the next morning feeling refreshed and ready to take on the day. She did a lot of thinking last night about everything that happened with Negan and she felt that she had made the right decision to become part of the Saviors. The only thing that made her a little sad was that she was going to have to tell Tina that she was no longer going to work at the commissary and she was going to miss her. Sure she would still be by to visit but it wouldn't be the same. 

She got ready and left early so she could give Tina her resignation. When she was leaving she cruised past Negan's door and stopped. She got a flash of the kiss they shared last night. Butterfly's fluttered in her stomach as she remembered just how the kiss made her feel. She didn't want to read too much into it, she wanted to make this a game with him, to see if it was possible to make him uncomfortable for a change but she would be lying if she said she didn't enjoy it in more ways then one. She knew nothing would ever come from their relationship, the guy had four wives for Christ's sake but she still liked the idea of toying with him. She thought it was entertaining to dangle something in front of him that he couldn't have. 

She made her way down to the commissary after breakfast and saw Tina was there setting up for the day. Dax smiled as she walked up to her. "Hey Tina" Dax said giving her a little wave. "Nice of you to join me, your ten minutes late" Tina sassed while pulling a tarp off of the counters. "Actually I'm not, I wanted to tell you I've been promoted, I'll no longer be working here." Tina looked at her puzzled. "What do you mean," she asked. "Negan wants to make me a Savior, I start training today" Dax said proudly. 

Dax couldn't figure out why Tina was looking at her the way she say. "What?" She asked in surprised. "Yeah, he said that he thinks I'll be good at going on runs and stuff with them so he offered me a position, and I took it." "Oh Dax no! You don't wanna do that, you have no idea what you're getting yourself into. Those guys on Negan's team, they are barbarians, you don't know the kind of stuff they do on those runs, and Negan? That is one guy you want to stay far away from, trust me" Tina argued. Dax was taken back by her response. "Oh come on Tina, I'll be fine! Before I found Alexandra I was on my own with Quinn and Kevin, granted it wasn't ideal but we did fine, and there will be a bunch of other guys with me, I think I can handle it." Tina shook her head. "Dax, I know you can be a tough bitch sometimes but deep down you got a good heart, most of those guys don't. It makes it easier for them to do what they do, trust me, you don't want to be apart of that, I'm not just talking about the obvious dangers you will face, there is much more to it."

Dax was starting to get irritated. "Tina, it's OK, I can handle it, I promise" She tired to reason. Tina shook her head and sighed. She finally looked at her and said "OK....OK...I hope your right and I do wish you well. If it get's to be too much for you you always have your spot back here. Just please be careful. Watch your mouth and do what Negan says." "Dax smiled and nodded. "Thank's Tina, I promise I'll be careful. I'll miss working with you" She said as she went to give her a hug. Once they said their good byes, Dax was on her way to the field. She was excited for the change of scenery and to be able to be outside of the compound. 

When she reported to where she was suppose to be, there were a few other guys standing around. Most of them looked much bigger than Dax and she felt a little intimidated. She lit up a cigarette and leaned against the fence as she waited for training to start. She made eye contact with one and he gave her a little smile. Dax nodded at him and then she watched him make his way over. "Hey, I'm Max, care if I bum one off you" He said sticking out his hand. He wasn't like the others that were there. He looked just a few years older then her, he had shaggy dirty blonde hair and a medium build. 

"Sure, and I'm Dax" She said handing him a cig and a lighter. "Dax?" He questioned as he light it up. "That's an unusual name." "Yeah, everybody says that," Dax rolled her eyes. Max nodded. "So Dax," he said as if her was trying his name out on her tongue. "What's a pretty girl like you doing getting mixed up in all this riff raff," He asked using his hands to gesture to the rest of the trainees. "I guess the same as anyone, it was an offer that I couldn't refuse," She replied, taking another drag. Max nodded. "Yeah well, I can't say I'm not surprised to see you here...Not too many women in this profession...two to be exact," Dax blinked. "And what does me being a woman having to do with anything" She said, defensively cocking an eyebrow. "Nothing, I was just stating a fact that's all, I'm sure your just as much as a brute as the rest of these...fine...working gentlemen out here" He joked, motioning to a cluster of rough looking guys that looked like they could pass for Hells Angels. Dax laughed.

"Pfft...Boy, I could run circles around you all day if given the chance," She sassed back. Max smiled at her. "I don't doubt it, you must of done something crazy to get yourself here" He said taking a drag. Dax smirked at him. "You'd be surprised" She said giving him a wink, playing along. "Oh yeah?...I guess looks can be deceiving," He said giving her a look up and down. "Yeah, I would say so. You don't look like the blood thirsty type either....But then again, you could have murdered your granny with an ax" "Actually it was a sledge hammer to be precise," He said matter-of-factly. Dax busted out laughing. She was beginning to like Max. He was a little goofy but she appreciated his sense of humor.

Before she could say another word, the person who she assumed was Ford came up and started barking out directions. He went over everything they would be covering today, from shooting, to hand to hand combat, to fighting actual walkers. They all stood in a line and he asked to give out a name. "Hendrick" "Brock" "Dane" "Pierce" "Vincent" Everyone called out. When he got down to the end of the line in front of them, they each called out "Dax" "Max." Ford looked at them and cocked an eyebrow. "Dax and Max? What are you two brother and sister?" Ford scoffed. Dax and Max exchanged glances and shook their heads no. Ford shook his head and dismissed everyone to the gun range where they would practice shooting.

Dax did pretty OK for the first part of training. She had shot before and knew her way around a pistol pretty well. She learned more about rifles and how to maneuver larger guns and she was picking it up pretty quickly. Max was great at shooting. He hit all the targets in the same spot every time with each gun they were given. He was also able to take apart, clean, and reload each gun in record timing. He helped Dax a lot with hers and even taught her a few good tips. "I was in the army for four years, all this shit is like what we did in basic training, granted I spent most of my time arm wrestling and playing cards but I did pick up a thing or two." he said as he was in the middle of showing her how to put together a rifle. "Wow, I guess looks ARE deceiving" Dax joked. 

Good thing Max was so good with guns because during the hand and hand combat she had fun wiping the floor with him. She was irritated at first because she thought he was just going easy on her because she was a girl, but after pinning and flipping him so many times, she could see the frustration in himself and she knew that he was trying. At one point Dax looked up and caught sight of Negan and Simon watching over her and the other new recruits as if they were checking out new inventory. Dax must have lost her concentration because the next thing she knew, she was being slammed into by Max and tackled to the ground. He laid her out on her stomach and was on top of her, trying to pin her by her shoulders . Dax pulled her hands underneath her and pushed up while kicking a leg out and wrapped it around his. luckily he was kind of on the skinny side. She used all of her force and was able to flip him where she was on top and straddling him with his arms pulled out. He struggled for a while and then Dax could see that he was giving up. They sat there a moment and then he looked at her and shrugged. "And I didn't even have to buy you dinner first," he made a joke. Dax laughed and got up off him, helping him up in the process.

At the end of the day, just about everyone was covered in walker guts and smelled like death warmed up. They were all dirty and sweaty and Dax couldn't wait to get into the shower. She had sticky brown globs of what used to be someones blood all over her face, neck and arms and her muscles ached. All in all she did pretty well, she only had to be saved once when they let three walkers out on her at once. She was feeling pretty good about herself and it was a productive day. She learned more about guns and how to fight off walkers and even made a new friend in Max. "See you tomorrow Dax, you did good today" Max said in a sarcastic formal voice, giving her a light punch in the arm. "You didn't do too bad yourself" she said, decking him even harder than when he hit her. Max flinched and made a pretend pained face as if she really hurt him. Dax just laughed and headed up to her room.

To say she felt disgusting was an understatement. She couldn't stand the smell that was coming off of her and it took her everything not to start stripping on her way up to her room. When she turned the corner to her hallway her heart dropped into her stomach. Negan was leaning on the edge of his open door smiling and Amber was in front of him. Judging by Amber's body language, she could tell they were being intimate. Dax couldn't even process the scene, she just wanted to get out of there and behind the safety of her own door as fast as she could. Negan had his back towards her and in order for her to get around him, he had to move. Amber was giving her an evil smirk as if she was loving what Dax had to witness. 

"Ah em!" Dax cleared her throat loudly. Negan turned around and smiled when his eyes landed on Dax. "Hey there Dax, jeeze you look like hell! What happened to you" Negan said scrunching his nose dramatically. "I was training, can I please get through" She asked narrowing her eyes. Negan grinned and stepped out of the way saying "Be my guest." Dax rolled her eyes and walked past him to her door. Before she could close the door she heard Amber say "What's that smell?"

Dax immediately started stripping off her clothes when she made it to her room, leaving a trail of them to the shower. She couldn't help to feel fried over what she just saw. As if nothing happened last night. She didn't want to admit it but she was feeling jealous. She was angry at herself for feeling this way but she couldn't help it. She enjoyed being flirty with Negan last night and seeing him with Amber was a harsh reminder of why she shouldn't be. Even if they weren't his wives in the literal sense of the word, they were still sleeping together, well most of them. Did she really want to get caught up in all of that?

She stepped into the shower and pondered it some more. The fact that he was so attractive didn't help at all. Now that she was able to let go her anger towards him from the beginning she was able to see that he really was gorgeous. He was almost like the forbidden fruit, she knew that she should have stayed away from him but she just couldn't help herself. It was like a strong animal instinct that provoked her. Last night was the first in a very long time that she had done anything with a man and she had forgotten how good it felt. Just to be held, just to have someone admire her and flirt with her. It was a rare moment to bask in these days. 

As she showered, she decided that she would end it. This was still Negan after all and maybe Tina was right, maybe she should not get mixed up with him. She would keep things cordial and just stick to business with him, that's it! Nothing more! At least that what she told herself. She continued to scrub herself from head to toe and then just basked under the stream and let the hot water relax her muscles. She sang a little tune while she did this.

(Insert song choice here)

When she stepped out she dried off and realized she forgot to grab clothes. She was feeling so dirty, her main concern was getting in the shower and it just slipped her mind. Loosely draping the towel over the front half of her body, she didn't really care about covering herself considering she was in the privacy of her own room. Or at least that's what she thought. When she stepped out she gasped and nearly dropped her towel. Negan was laying on her bed with his legs crossed, hands behind his head, and his big Cheshire grin.


	18. Tag! Your It!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter you have all been waiting for ;)

(Incase you were wondering, Max from the last chapter is indeed the Max from Across the Universe. That is my favorite movie and he is my favorite character in it so I decided to throw him in here. I figured he would make an interesting friend for Dax. Carry on...I hope none of you hate me after this chapter)

 

"WHAAA!!! OH MY GOD! What the fuck are you doing in here?!" Dax squeeled, scrambling to wrap herself better in her towel. Negan smirked. "Well Damn doll, no need to get in a tizzy, I just wanted to check up on you and see how your damn day went." Dax scoffed. "I love how you say that likes it's the most normal thing in the world, like what your doing is not creepy at all...Get the fuck out!" Negan's expression turned serious as he lifted himself off her bed and took a few steps towards her. "Whats a matter Daiquiri? Would you have rather it was that blondie boy..Whatever the hell his name is?" He said drawing out her full name to antagonize her. 

"It's Max!" Dax growled while she rummaged through her drawers for anything to throw on. "And what the hell does he have to do with anything? You snuck into my room while I was in the shower, do you have any idea how many boundaries you just crossed?" Dax closed herself in the bathroom to get changed. "Considering that I own this damn place...not really" Negan shot back at her. Dax sighed in agitation. When she opened the door Negan was still standing there...of course. "Wait a second" He said as if her were in deep thought. "Max...Max...Max and Dax...hmm...That's pretty fucking cute if I do say so myself..Max and Dax...Dax and Max" He teased moving his head from side to side with each syllable. Dax pulled her face in a scowl. "You two sound like a fucking nursery rhyme" He continued to pick at her. 

Dax's anger faded off her face turned into her mischievous grin. "Oh Negan...If I didn't know any better, I would think you were..." Dax looked from side to side as if there were other people around. "Jealous" She finished. Negan let out a hearty laugh. "Jealous? Is that what you think doll? I'm jealous? Pfft...well it's not like he was the one you were sucking face with last night."

Check. He struck a nerve that Dax wasn't ready to deal with. He continued to smirk at her knowing he got her. "That was a mistake...It should have never happened" She turned away, growing serious. Negan pulled his head back in amusement. "I beg to differ, It most certainly didn't feel like a mistake. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but if I'm not mistaken, you were the one who grabbed me...And you could have pulled away at any time, but you didn't." He had Dax there. 

She spun around. "Well, after careful consideration I've decided that it is best that it never happens again, with your wives and us now working together, I don't think it would be wise for us to get...involved...I think we should stay professional." Negan flicked his eye brows up at her. "Maybe...just for argument sake, we should try that kiss just one more time...Just to be sure that is really what you want because to be honest hunny, your confusing the fuck out of me." Dax rolled her eyes. "Well, normally I never say never but for you I'll have to make an exception" She said feeling pleased with herself. Negan held his hand up to his heart and said "Ouch," as if her were deeply pained by her words. 

He took a few more steps so he was right in front of her. "So what it is...are you saving yourself for Maxy?" He said drawing his name out to annoy her. "What the hell is your deal with Max? We are just friends Negan, I'm aloud to have friends for Christ's sake!" Dax exclaimed. "Friends? Or friends with benefits? Cuz after last night, it seems like you would prefer the latter, just sayin" He continued to provoke.

Dax's face pulled into something hateful. She couldn't have been more insulted by his words. That rage that she felt for Negan in the beginning was returning and she lost control. She twisted her face in her rage and roughly shoved him back towards her bed using all her strength. Once he got his footing her looked at her as if he couldn't believe what she had just done. "What the hell?! I thought I made myself clear that-" She shoved him again. The only thing she could think or feel was anger and she wanted Negan to feel just as mad as he made her. His expression grew dark and serious. "Dax, I suggest you chill the fuck out" he warned. Dax went to go shove him again but this time he caught her hands. 

She blinked her eyes and paused for a moment when he grabbed her and then tried to fight out of his grasp. When she realized that she wasn't able to break free her vexed eyes met his. She saw a flicker of lust in them and he couldn't have worn it better in that moment. She felt an unusual animalistic urge inside of her and all of her morals of right and wrong shut off. She had no clue what came over her but the next minute she flung her wrists back out of his grasp, gripped his leather jacket in both of her hands and ripped it back off of him in one firm motion. She gave him another rough shove on the bed. For a brief moment she saw a look of pure shock on his face as she threw herself at him. 

They were a mess of lips, teeth, saliva and skin the instant she collided with him. He wrapped his hands around her waist to steady her on top of him while she roughly kissed him. She was beginning to feel her skin chafe from the roughness of his stubble when he pulled away. "So much for making me an exception" He said grinning. Dax quickly rolled her eyes and said "For once in your life, shut the fuck up, and just go with it" and then she was on him again. He grabbed her by the back of her head and pushed her into him harder as if he was trying to take control. Dax bit his lower lip and ran her hands up and down his firm muscles, exploring his body, and boy did he have a lot going on for him. She could feel the mold of an erection growing in his pants as she smirked into him. 

He returned his hands to her waist and in one swift movement he threw her underneath him so he was on top now. Dax couldn't think. She didn't want to. For whatever reason, when she was with Negan like this it was the most exhilarating feeling that she craved like a drug. She just couldn't get enough of it. He stopped for a moment to whip his shirt up off of his back and leaned back down and started kissing her neck. Dax continued to run her hands over his chest, getting the feel of his warm skin beneath her finger tips. Everything about him was perfection to her and he knew all the right places to hit. She scooted herself up inch by inch, only breaking contact so he could pull her shirt off of her. He ogled her for a moment just like she did to him. "Fuck! Your skin is like fucking porcelain...so smooth" He grunted and licked a line from her neck to her shoulder while gently nibbling at her skin. She dug her fingers in his back. 

As if she hit a spot on him, he growled in lust and slightly pulled back. Dax opened her eyes from the sudden disconnection. "Fuck Dax, I'm trying my damnedest to go slow here, if this gets to be too much for you, you tell me to stop, OK?" He asked through restraint. She knew what he was referring to and why he was letting her set the pace. Dax looked away for a moment as if she were letting his words sink in and nodded, pulling his face back down to hers. "Touch me" She whispered in his ear. With that Negan slowly ran his hands down her stomach to the waist band of her PJ shorts she threw on earlier, digging his fingers under the fabric till he found her core. When he made contact with her sweet spot she arched her back into him and gasped. The more he worked her, the faster her breathing picked up. "You are so fucking sexy, you have no idea how long I've been waiting to do this" He said after giving her neck another bite. "Do you...ever...stop...talking" Dax stammered out. She could feel him grin in her neck. She knew he had her right where he wanted her.

He dragged one long finger through the center of her folds and spread her arousal up to her clit. With no warning he moved down leaving a trail of kisses and soft nips and then roughly spread her legs with a tight grip. He ran his tongue back and forth across her clit and then dragged it up and down in long motions while continuing to finger her. As he was going down on her, Dax arched herself into him as much as she could, as if she were begging for more contact. "Oh God..." She was getting close.

As if he could sense it, Negan lifted himself up off the bed and began to undo his belt buckle. Dax scooted herself up as she waited for him, enjoying the view with a little smirk. He gave her a look of intriguement as he pulled his jeans down with his boxers, standing naked before her. She slowly scanned her eyes up and down his body, liking very much what she was seeing. He smirked back at her and bent over to pull her bottoms down her legs. Kicking them to the side he resumed his position back on top of her. 

As they continued to kiss, Dax's hand made it's way down to Negans shaft and she took it in the palm of her hand, roughly jerking it from the base to the tip in a repetitive motion. Once Negan couldn't take anymore he roughly grabbed her hands and led them to the bar of her headboard. Pausing to look at her he firmly said "Your hands are not to leave this bar, understand?"

Dax smiled at him and nodded. "Say it" he growled. "My hand's won't leave this bar" She breathed out. "Good" he said as he forcefully separated her knees. He hovered over her, propping himself up on his forearm and positioned himself at her entrance with his other hand. Before he entered, he looked back to her as if he was letting her know that this was her last moment to back out if she wasn't ready. She gave him a nod is if giving him the OK and then he pressed into her inch by inch, letting her get the feel of him. He paused for a few seconds, not breaking eye contact, and finally pushed the last bit deep inside of her and held himself there.

Dax let out a sharp gasp she she felt her body stretch and adjust itself around him. She stiffened herself for several seconds and then let out a slow shaky breath as a smile grew to her face. "Move" she ordered. "Yes ma'am" He said through a deep voice as he started off moving in and out in a lazy rhythm. After a few moments Dax got bored. She knew that he was trying to restrain himself in fear of pushing her too hard but it wasn't enough for her. She kicked his knee down underneath him and used her body to push him over and get on top of him in one motion. He looked at her in surprise.

"What? My hands never left the bar, see?" She said innocently. Negan chuckled. Before he could say another word she began riding him hard and fast, the way she wanted. Gripping the bar tightly, she used it to lift herself off him and help her gain more momentum. She continued to roll her hips over him roughly as he thrust into her from below, matching her pace. Not long after, her orgasm ripped through her and both her and Negan could feel her convulsing and fluttering around him through her moans.

She continued to rock back and forth until she slowed to a halt with her eyes closed and a very pleasant smile on her face. She opened her eyes and looked down at Negan out of breath feeling satisfied. Negan smiled at her. "Wow doll...That was so hott....My turn." Before she could process those words he flipped her over and moved behind her. Dragging her ass up in the air, he grabbed a fist full of her long blonde hair and held her upright so she was propped up on her elbows. He gave her ass a hard smack and roughly entered her from behind in one hard thrust. Dax sucked in a breath as her body rocked forward from the amount of pressure he was using. He finally released her hair and and gripped her hips and continued to pump into her hard and deep. Dax rocked into him, making him hit every spot she had as he gave her ass a sharp smack every now and then. It was like he had mapped out all her places of pleasure in her body and he knew where they were.

After some time Negan tipped his head back and pulled out, releasing down the back of her leg as his and Dax's body came undone with pleasure. They both stayed there for a while, a hot, sticky, panting mess of skin and muscle, relishing in what they just did. Still out of breath, Negan reached down and grabbed whatever piece of clothing was on the floor and cleaned the back of Dax's leg. Dax collapsed fully onto the bed and Negan reached over her to grab a water bottle that was on top of her night stand. Screwing off the cap he tilted his head back and took a long drink. Dax could make out beads of sweat rolling down his temples. He offered her a sip and she shook her head no so he returned it to her nightstand and laid down next to her. "Oh fuck" He stammered out. "You fucking wore me out girl!" Dax's face pulled up to a smirk.

Leaning her body on his and placing a hand on his chest she looked up at him. "Negan?" She said with a child-like voice. He looked down at her through hooded eyes and a sweet smile. "Yes doll?" He said playing along. "Get out."

His eye brows crinkled in confusion. "Excuse me?" He said, honestly not knowing if he heard her correctly. "Get out" She repeated, using a little venom to back her words. He looked at her as if she had three heads. "Are you fucking serious?" He asked her, still not believing what he was hearing. Dax looked up sarcastically as if she were thinking about it and then started nodding "Yeah...I am actually...Now get the fuck out" She said with a devilish grin.

Negan paused and looked at her for a second as if he thought she was joking. When he saw that she was sticking to her guns he let out a frustrated sigh and rolled off the bed. Dax laid there and watched him pick up his clothes and get dressed, still smirking. When he was done he turned to her and said "Your a real Bitch you know that?" in annoyance. Dax rolled over and giggled, propping herself up on her elbows. "I just wanted to give you a lesson on exactly what friends with benefits really is, now that you know, lesson over. Class dismissed" She said tilting her head and smiling. Negan shook his head in irritation. "Harsh baby, very harsh...I do hope you know what your getting yourself into here" he warned. "Goodnight Negan" Dax said, wiggling a finger at him. He shook his head for the final time and walked out, slamming the door behind him.

Dax rolled over on her back with a huge satisfied smile on her face. It felt so good to get one over on him, she didn't even ponder the potential of the consequences for her actions. She still had no clue what came over her or how she went from wanting to tear his head off to wanting to fuck his brains out but regardless she enjoyed every minute of it. Even though she was sure he would find some way to get back at her. She smirked. "Tag...You are it my friend." 

 

(Wow, Ok so that was my first time writing a smut scene. I hope I didn't go too overboard but I figured we are now 18 chapters in and this is a Negan fic so it was time. Now this is not all going to be just a smut story, I do have a few plots in mind and things are going to be getting interesting soon so just bear with me. I just have to build the Negan and Dax relationship to help me get there. I hope you all liked this one, sorry if I over-did it but I'm not planning on there being too too many of these scenes, but there will be some fluff. Thank you to all who have continued reading, I am over the moon happy when I see your comments and kudos, you have no idea how much they mean to me. Please comment to let me know how your liking it so far, I really want to hear your opinions on this and I will do my best to take them into consideration. Hope you all have a great weekend! God bless! :) )


	19. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Saviors make a trip to Alexandria

A week had past since Dax and Negan's intimate encounter. Dax continued on with her training and Negan continued on being Negan. They didn't speak or interact much, mostly just on a need to know basis. Dax assumed he was acting like this to play games as if it meant nothing to him but what he didn't realize was that Dax really didn't care. It wasn't the first time she had a one night stand and she knew how to not get attached. 

Frankie and Tanya did end up questioning her about Amber's speculation of the night she saw her go to his room but she didn't give them much to talk about. She just made up some story about how she had to go report something with the points from when she was working at the commissary. They didn't seem like they bought it but they got the hint that it wasn't something she wanted to discuss and dropped it, which she was thankful for. His affair with her wasn't something that she wanted to gossip about so she kept it to herself and hoped Negan did the same. After the way she left things with him, she didn't think he would be bragging to any of his Savior buddies about it any time soon, which was another reason why she did what she did. 

Her and Max ended up becoming good friends. She enjoyed his sense of humor and they had found a common ground in music they liked. There were a few moments where he reminded her of Kevin and she often fantasized about all of them hanging out and B.Sing just like they used to do after their kick back nights. She knew that he would have fit in very well with her circle of friends. Almost every night after training they would sit on the steps outside of the Sanctuary and they would smoke and talk about their past life or she would play her guitar while they both sang along. 

He was kind of like her, after he got out of the army he bar tended while traveling his way around, never really settling in one place. He was a wild child and he often told her stories of when he was on a bender and how he went from party to party to waking up in a field in a different state. Max had a horrible relationship with his parents but stayed close with his sister and his best friend and he was with them for a while after the world turned. Dax assumed that they didn't make it because he never said what happened to them or where they were now. She didn't press the topic. She knew what it was like to lose someone.

Today was going to be a very big day for her. Today was her first run with the Saviors and Dax heard through the grape vine that they would be going to Alexandria. She was head over heels excited and couldn't wait to see her friends. She was a little nervous about going there for a collection because she didn't want to see Negan or the Saviors hurt anyone. Her being there put her mind a little at ease at the same time because if things started to get out of hand she could either talk Rick or Negan down and try to de-escalate the situation. 

"Hey Max!" Dax called out to Max when she saw him across the yard. He was wearing a skull cap and a blue flannel, she almost didn't recognize him. "Dax!" Max ran up to her excitedly, picking her up and spinning her around. "We did it! Our first run! This is gonna be fun, you must be pretty stoked that were going to Alexandria!" Max exclaimed while Dax laughed. "Yeah, I can't wait to introduce you to Kevin, Quinn, and Lacey, I just know you will love them!" "Yeah well, I don't know how much they will love me considering we are there to take half of their shit" Max said, mimicking Negan in the last part of the sentence. Dax gave him a half smile. "It will be OK, I'm sure they will know that we don't really have a choice and I'll be there to make sure things go over smoothly." "Yeah, here's hoping....Come on, we gotta go get our guns" He said pulling her along. 

When they got to the gun truck, Simon was standing there as if he was waiting for them. Everyone else was all locked and loaded and ready to go and Dax realized that he was pretty much waiting on them. "Well about damn time! Next time don't be late...The first thing you do when you get here is report to me and get your weapons, we don't have all day for that shit, here" Simon said roughly placing a pistol in Max's hand. "Yes sir!" Max said obediently, not wanting to make waves with Simon. 

Out of the corner of her eye, Dax could see the familiar black form of Negan stalking up to them. She turned to make eye contact with him and his lips peeled back into a smile which Dax did not return. His face shifted into a look of interest as he made his way over to them. "Max...Dax" He acknowledged them. Dax could tell his was teasing about their names again and she kept a straight face while Max gave him a nod. He breathed out a small laugh and fixed his eyes on Dax as Simon went to go issue her a gun. "Here, you can take the Ruger P89, this outta be a good one for a lady such as yourself" Simon said giving her a wink. Dax nodded and when Simon went to go hand her the gun Negan grabbed it out of his hand. Giving her a smirk he said "Actually, little miss here is not going to need a gun, She'll be sitting this one out today."

"What!?" Dax snapped with her face a mix of surprise and anger. "Why the hell not!?" "Because I said so, that's fucking why, let the big dogs handle this one" Negan said proudly. Dax's face pulled in a glare. "Negan, come on, please, I have to go, why are you being such a dick about this?" Negan grew serious. "Who the fuck do you think you're talking to missy? I'm sure you are well fucking aware who is in charge here and what I say sure as hell goes, your staying here and that's final, if you want to argue about it I'm sure I could find you plenty of jobs where I won't have to listen to that smart mouth of yours" Negan paused as he and Dax stared each other down. It was like he was challenging her. "What? You got somthin' to say?" he dared her. 

Dax rolled her eyes and let out a dramatic huff. She stomped off so she wouldn't risk saying anything else to further piss him off, with Max trailing behind her. She wanted to cry. "Gee, I'm sorry Dax, this really sucks, I was hoping we could do our first run together" Max said trying to comfort her. "Ugh! He makes me so mad!....Well at least one of us gets to go" She said in disappointment while walking Max to one of the trucks in the back of the line up. "Well, if I get a chance to talk to anyone I'll send them your regards."

Dax sighed. She turned to look at Negan who was getting ready to get in his truck at the front of the line with Simon. Turning around to catch her gaze, he made a kissy face at her and winked which made her blood boil. Once he was in the truck and out of sight, Dax turned to Max. She had an idea. "Give me your hat and flannel" She ordered. "What? Why?" Max asked confused. "Just do it!" She barked, ripping his hat off of his head and placing it on hers. She started to tuck her blonde hair in so it was completely covered. 

Max looked both ways in a panic. "Dax! Dude! Don't do this! He is going to murder you and probably me when he see's you, this is not a good idea!" "Relax, he won't see me, I'll stay out of sight and I'll linger behind the trucks, I promise, it will be fine, I got this" She said trying to convince Max to go along. She knew this was a stupid plan but she couldn't be left out when they went to Alexandria. For all she knew this could be her last chance to see them and she had to know how everyone was doing. "Dax, please, just stay. I'm sure there will be other times he will let you go, he is probably just waiting until he trusts you or something." "Max, please, just give me your flannel and just go with it, if he is not going to let me go this time he will probably never let me go because Alexandria was my home, this may be the last time I ever get to see my friends and it's killing me not knowing how they are doing." Max's face sunk from her words and after a few seconds of fighting with himself he peeled off his jacket and handed it over to her.

"OK here, just please try not to do anything stupid...What am I saying, you already are...Just don't bring attention to yourself, even if things do get ugly." Dax was praying to God that things wouldn't go that way but she gave Max a smile and took the flannel and buttoned it around her. "Thank you Max," She said giving him a genuine smile. They hopped in the back of the truck and began the two hour journey to Alexandria.

 

When the trucks pulled through the gates, everyone piled out. Dax jumped off the back of the truck and hung around towards the end of the line up in attempt to stay out of Negan's sight. She didn't see Rick around or any of his people and she couldn't decide if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Negan made some announcements, basically explaining to them what the game plan was. For whatever reason he was there to talk to Rick and Dax watched him walk up to the front stairs to Ricks house, by himself. He knocked on the door and Dax could make out poor Olivia standing in the doorway. Even though she was quite a distance away she could practically see the poor woman shaking behind his towering frame. They had a few words and then Negan stepped in the house and once he was behind the closed door she gave Max a nod and began to move.

Ducking behind trees and bushes, she had to take the long way to get to her house to make sure she stayed out of sight. She was trying to avoid the Saviors so they wouldn't question her as to why she was walking around the place when they were told to stay put. She also didn't want to catch anyone from Alexandria and cause them to bring attention to her so she kept her head down while she walked.

She had finally made it to the steps of her house and she couldn't help but stand there and soak in the view. Everything looked exactly the same as it had before and compared to what she was used to looking at it was beautiful. She was Finally home. She slowly made her way up the steps, running her hand along the railing that she used to slide down and stroking the front door as if she were savoring every little detail. 

When she opened the door there was no one to be found, the place was pretty quiet. She breathed in the familiar odor of hard wood and the tropical candles that Lacey used to burn and a pair of tears made their way down her face. It was so beautiful and warm after being locked away in the Sanctuary for so long. It was that moment that she decided that if she were to ever return that she would never take it for granted again. Just like the outside, the inside looked exactly how she remembered it. "Kevin? Quinn?" She called out. No answer. "Hmm" She thought...wondering where they could be. 

She slowly made her way up the stairs, still soaking in all of the details of her old home. When she was about halfway up she heard laughter from upstairs. She furrowed her eyes brows as she followed the sounds of hushed voices to Kevin's bedroom. She slowly pushed the door open and saw Lacey and Kevin laying in his bed, smiling as if they just shared a special moment. Lacey was draped over half of Kevin's body and he had his arm around her shoulders. Dax was speechless and just stood there like a deer in headlights.

Kevin glanced over at her and had to do a double take, not believing what he was seeing. "DAX!" he yelled shooting up. Lacey turned and gasped at her sudden appearance. "He..Hey guys...I'm back" Dax stammered out, still trying to process what she just walked in on. Kevin rounded the bed and took Dax in his arms and held her in a long warm embrace. Lacey was now standing up from the bed, behind Kevin, wearing a nervous smile on her face. "Oh my God! I've missed you so so much!" he said while swaying her back and forth. "I missed you guys too, Oh my God you have no idea," Dax cried while returning his embrace. Once Kevin let go of her she and Lacey looked at each other for a few seconds. Dax's face grew to a warm smile and she threw her arms around Lacey as they both cried together. "I didn't think we would ever see you again! Are you OK?" Lacey asked grabbing Dax's face. 

"Yeah I'm fine, I'm fine...Things haven't been so bad, Negan has actually been treating me pretty good despite a few personality flaws, the Sanctuary is not so bad." Lacey nodded at her, still not letting her hands go. Dax didn't want to tell them about the rape or how she slept with Negan. She figured they already had enough to worry about, she didn't want to add to it and she wasn't sure how they would react knowing that she literally slept with the enemy. On her way over she had already planned to paint her life like everything was sunshine and roses. 

"Wait, how are you even here? Did you escape?" Kevin asked. "No, it's kinda a long story...Negan's here right now and I kinda snuck on one of the trucks, I'm not sure how much time I even have" Dax said as she tried to look out the window to see if she could see the trucks. 

Dax looked back and forth to Kevin and Lacey. "So you guys are a thing now huh?" She teased. They both shrugged. "Yeah, it just kinda happened, I guess" Kevin replied. "Well I'm happy for you guys, really I am...You both are great people and you deserve each other" Dax said giving her approval. She could see Lacey relax a little and she smiled. "Thank you Dax, that means a lot" She said giving her another hug. "Sure...It's just kinda funny, I always expected you to end up with Quinn, but I know you two will be great together!" Dax said warmly.

She noticed that when she mentioned Quinn's name, both their faces stiffened. Dax looked around with her eyes crinkled in confusion. "Speaking of, where is Quinn anyway? He probably doesn't even know I'm here" Dax said arching her backwards to see if he was in his room. Both Kevin and Lacey grew serious and exchanged looks. Dax caught on and dropped her smile. "Guys...Where is Quinn?" she said with a bit more force. Kevin sighed and put his hands on Dax's shoulders. "Dax...Quinn is dead."


	20. If You Want Blood, We'll Give You Some

(Sorry it took so long, I had bad writers block with this one. I'm also getting into my crazy season at work so I won't be able to post as much as I normally do :( )

"Wha..What?" Dax breathed out. Kevin's words almost sounded surreal. Him and Lacey looked at her in sympathy. Dax slowly sulked over to the bed and sat down in fear that if she didn't her feet would give out from underneath her. She looked up at Kevin through hurt eyes. "How?" She demanded to know. Kevin sighed. "Him and Aaron went on a run together....He never came back" Kevin said in a monotone voice. He couldn't bring himself to give her any more detail then that which was for the best because she didn't want to hear anymore. Her friend was gone. 

Her Quinn. Her Quinn that she used to laugh with, make music with, share secrets. Her Quinn that was there since the very beginning. Her Quinn that was one the few people in this world that knew her in the last. He was gone...And she never got to say goodbye. 

Dax threw herself around Kevin and began to cry. Kevin held her tightly and rubbed her shoulder with misty eyes. She would never see him again. Never hear his laugh or hear him bang out a drum solo or be able to listen to her vent about the problems of Alexandria. He was just gone. 

Just like Deju vu, all of the sudden the sound of a gun shot echoed throughout the house. "You have got to be fucking kidding me!" Kevin called out while releasing Dax and trying to see where it came from. "Oh no" Dax said in dread. There was no way this could be good. They all ran down stairs and outside to the front. Once they got there Dax could see everyone gathered around by Rick's house. Right away her face went to a gutted up Spencer laying on the concrete motionless. Dax didn't need to be any closer to tell that he was dead. 

Despite there being a dead Alexandrian in the middle of the chaos, that is not what Dax was focused on. Her focus was going back and forth between a furious, bloody faced Negan, and Arat holding a knife to Rosita's face while she was on the ground. Negan was going on about something with a bullet but Dax was slightly paying attention to his words. She was more so paying attention to his body language and the way he was presenting himself. She pulled a finger to her lips and motioned to Kevin and Lacey as if she were telling them to 'be quiet'. Dax began to sneak around to try to get closer with out being seen. 

She was afraid to admit it but she knew what was coming. Someone else was about to die or get seriously injured. The few times she had seen Negan get riled up like this made her know that he was no longer playing games. It was almost like watching a replica of the devil himself. She could make out his angry black eyes from where she was. Shit was about to go down!

"Such a shame...Arat's gonna have to cut up that pretty face" She heard Negan say as she got closer. 'Not on my watch' Dax thought. There was already so many people dead because of him, she would throw herself in the line of fire if she could prevent another one. "It was me" Rosita said through clenched teeth stubbornly. "OH you are such a BADASS!" Negan roared. Even though he was now smiling, he still looked terrifying. All of Rick's people that were gathered around had a look of horror for what was to come next. "Fine...Have it your way...Arat....Kill somebody" he coldly ordered. While Arat was contemplating what she was just ordered to do, Dax sprang into action. Before she could pull out her gun Dax sprinted as fast as she could towards Arat and tackled her to the ground, rolling both of them in the process.

Arat didn't know what hit her, before she could get her bearings, Dax was on top of her again. She grabbed her by the shirt and threw her down on the pavement. She stood up and began to kick her but Arat grabbed Dax's foot and pulled it out from under her, causing her to fall. "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! What do we have here!" Negan jumped in surprise. During Arat and Dax's scrap, Max's hat fell off her head, letting her blonde hair tangle around her. Negans face pulled from amusement back to the wicked expression he was wearing earlier. A few Saviors made a move to break them up but Negan held up his hand. "No, leave them be, Arat's got this" Negan said with a smirk as he continued to watch through darkened eyes.

Despite Negan's confidence in Arat, Dax had the upper hand. She was actually beating the life out of her and she was beyond seeing red. In every punch she landed she thought of Quinn, her rape, and all the others she had lost in her life. Even though it wasn't intentional, she was dumping all of her anger into Arat and every hit was fueled from something that stemmed from Negan's wrath. Her eyes were filled with a demonic hate and pure rage. 

Everyone in Alexandra stood around with their mouths practically hanging on the ground. What she had done happened so quickly and it brought on such a roller coaster of emotions, no one knew how to react. Once Negan had decided that he was wrong and that Arat had taken enough of a beating he signaled for the Saviors to grab Dax. Max came forward with another Savior and literally pulled her flailing body off of her. Dax used every ounce of fight she had in her to get away from them. Kiicking, screaming, and clawing at them, she didn't even know who she was at this moment. Her conscience had turned off and she felt like she had no control over her actions, it was like something snapped inside of her.

Just as they were pulling Dax away, Rick and Daryl came walking up back from their run. When Rick took in the whole scene before him he charged up to Negan growling "We had an AGREEMENT!" "Rick! Look everybody it's Rick!" Negan croaked in fake excitement. "Your people are making me lose my voice doing all this yelling." As Dax was being held back by the two Saviors, she briefly made eye contact with Daryl who quickly looked away avoiding her gaze. Rick did a quick scan of everyone around him to try to evaluate what was going on. He was wearing his same panicky expression that he usually wore when Negan was around. When he saw Arat on the ground bloody and disfigured, his eyes darted to Dax who was still angrily trying to pull out of her restraints. "Dax shhh, chill out, it's me Max" Max tried to calm her down as Negan addressed Rick but in her state of mind she couldn't hear him. All she wanted was blood.

She spit angrily on the ground and stared at Arat with enraged eyes. If Dax didn't stop her she would have killed one of her people and wouldn't have thought twice about it. After Negan had decided that he was satisfied with the all the damage that was done He told everyone it was time to move out. As Max and the other Savior began to haul her away, she snapped out of her deranged trance and she dug her heels in the ground, not wanting to leave. She tried to twist and pull to where her friends were but it was no use. "Dax, come on, we have to go" Max said with sorrowful eyes, trying to lead her in the other direction. "N..n..no...I have to see them one more time, I have to...Please let me go" Dax pleaded as she continued to fight. 

Negan stood there and watched her reactions with an unreadable look that turned into anger. Dax heard the thud of his boots and she turned to see him stomping over to her with his face growing more and more dark with each step. He roughly grabbed her out of Max and the other Saviors grip from under her arm and lifted her up so she was practically on her tip toes and dragged her effortlessly. He has such a grip on her arm that every time Dax tried to pull away it hurt so she had no choice but to stumble next to him and try to keep up. 

Once they got to the front he slammed her into the side of his truck and before she could catch her bearings he grabbed her by the shoulders to steady her and then slammed her again, knocking the wind out of her. "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT! I TOLD YOU TO STAY AT THE SANCTUARY! WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU HERE?!" He roared, getting in her face. This was the first time Dax was truly terrified of him. She had never seen him like this and to say he was pissed was an understatement. She flinched with every word and every gesture. She was petrified of him and she just wanted to run away as far as her legs would carry her. The darker his expression grew, the more she began to shake and cower. The Negan she thought she knew was no longer in there.

"ANSWER ME WHEN I'M FUCKING TALKING TO YOU" He screamed in her face again. Dax was so scared that she began to feel moisture pool between her legs. She was shaking like a human vibrator because Negan was no longer the one who was in front of her. All she could see was Mark. Negan was quickly growing impatient and he was wearing the same hateful cold expression that Mark was wearing that night. The same expression that still haunted her dreams. 

All the sudden Dax started to scream uncontrollably and turned into herself. She screamed and screamed until Negan was forced to back off and even when he let go of her she couldn't stop. It was a panicked response and she couldn't stop. Negan's eyes instantly softened and they pulled in confusion. Not knowing how to react to her sudden outburst he gently put his hands up to her shoulders. "Dax....Dax...Look at me...I'm not him, Dax" Negan tried to reach her. She flinched away from his touch and tried to run away from him but he grabbed her by the back of her jacket. 

Still screaming, she pulled herself on the ground and shyed away from him, backing into the tire. She couldn't even look at him at this point, she kept her head tucked into her shoulder, still shrieking and tensing up as if she were waiting for him to hit her. Negan stood over her, running a hand down his face feeling dumbfounded and not really knowing what to do with her reaction. He was mad and he wanted to give her a consequence so she would know he was not one to fuck around with but this broken reaction was over-riding everything that he would have normally done. He could tell she was still not over what happened in that cell like he thought she was and he could see in her face that she was reliving it at this moment. 

Before Negan could do or say anything else, Max came running over and slid down next to her. He put his arms around her and and pulled her trembling body into his. "Dax, I'm here, it's Max, I'm here, it's OK, you're fine, shhhh" Max soothed as she buried her face in his chest. Her screamed turned into sobs and she had never felt weaker then she did in that moment. Max rested his head on top of hers and rocked her back and forth while rubbing her back. Him and Negan exchanged glances and then Negan squatted down next to them. 

"I'm going to let this slide for the meantime, but eventually, you both are going to have a lot of explaining to do" Negan said through a deep dull voice as Max stared at him, still comforting Dax. Negan pulled his face in a frown. "You got five minutes" He said standing up and then walking away to his truck. Once he was gone, Max's eyes softened as he pulled his attention back to Dax. "Come on Dax, we gotta go" He said as he began to stand up. Dax continued to cry as he pulled her to her feet and practically carried her over to the truck that they came in. His arm never left her shoulders and he held on to her as if she would break if he let her go. 

When they got back to the truck she leaned into him for the whole ride home. He was like a pacifier to her and he helped her pull herself together just by being there. She must have fallen asleep at some point because she woke up to Max giving her a gentle nudge to let her know they were back at the sanctuary. She had a pounding headache and her episode had fully exhausted her. All she wanted to do was go to bed and sleep it off. 

Max helped her out of the back of the truck and kept an arm around her waist when they walked. They didn't say anything and Max didn't want to push her to talk. He walked her up to her room and when they were outside the door she turned to him. Slowly pulling her eyes from the floor to his baby blues, she stared at him through doe-like eyes. "Ca..Can you stay with me for a while?" She asked innocently. Even though her and Max were just friends, she couldn't bear to be alone tonight. Her anxiety was running into over drive and she worried about what she would do to herself if she was left alone.

From the moment she heard that Quinn died to the moment when she was looking back at Negan's angry eyes, something in her had given out. She felt like everything that had happened with Mark was hitting her at full force now and she couldn't bury it like she did before, no matter how hard she tried. 

Max looked at her with sympathetic eyes and gave her a gentle nod. "Yeah, sure" He said, giving her a light half smile. "Thank you" was all she could squeek out and she opened her door to let them both inside. Once she was behind the safety of her door, she stripped off Max's jacket and threw it on the floor. She slid off her shoes and took of her pants, not caring that Max was standing right behind her. From there she made a b-line to her bed, climbing under the covers and getting comfortable. Max stood there, not really knowing what to do and he insecurely glanced back and forth.

She continued to stare at him and when his eyes locked on hers, it was as if she were saying 'get in'. Max let out a sigh and slid off his boots and a corner of the room and then padded over to her. Crawling on top of the covers he laid behind her and got himself situated so he was spooning her. She leaned back into him as he slowly put his arm around her as if he were testing the waters. When he felt her relax he laid his head on the pillow next to hers and gently rubbed a hand up and down her arm. In a matter of minutes Dax was in a dreamless sleep.

Negan was on his way up to Dax's room to see if she was calming down when he stopped dead in his tracks. He caught a glimpse of Max with her outside her door and he stayed to see what they were doing. When he saw Max follow Dax into her room he let out a deep sigh. He then walked right past her room to the room where his wives stayed and let himself in.


	21. Poor Unfortunate Soul

For three days Dax stayed in her room, only coming out when she absolutely had to eat. She couldn't shake off the series of unfortunate events that happened a few days ago and she didn't quite know how to deal with it all. She wasn't mad at Negan, surprisingly. She knew that she was taking a huge risk sneaking on that truck and Negan only acted how he was suppose to in that situation. She took full responsibility for what she had done and she was perplexed that Negan let it go as easily as he did, for the time being at least. She was positive that her days as a Savior were over now that she proved to him that he couldn't trust her and even though there were a few unanswered knocks on her door since then, no one had came and forced her out of her room. She still didn't understand why. 

She mostly slept and played her guitar while she wallowed in her room. She was feeling depressed and she couldn't get Quinn and Mark out of her head no matter how she tried to distract herself. They were in every dream and every string she played and she had mixed feelings of sorrow and hatred for everything that had happened. She had missed Quinn so much before and now knowing that she would never see him again intensified that feeling. She had lost people before and it was something she could never get used to. As for what Mark did to her, she felt dirty and violated all over again. She was able to suppress those feelings for a while to the point where she started to feel like herself again but it was only a matter of time before the lock broke on that seal and they exploded out, which is exactly what happened. Now she couldn't bury them, no matter how hard she tried.

She decided that maybe it would be easier to deal with if she talked to someone. Throwing on a fresh change of clothes and running a brush through her tangled hair, she finally left her room to go find Max. It was late afternoon and she was hoping that he would be back from whatever he was doing with the Saviors that day. She walked to his door, keeping her head down to avoid any gawks the people of the Sanctuary could be throwing her way. She thought that maybe if she talked to Max he could make her feel better. Even if he just made her laugh like he usually did, anything to feel something different. 

She arrived in front of his door and knocked three times. No answer. She knocked again and got the same response. "Hmm" She said with a frown. Maybe he was still out with the Saviors. She then made her way down to the loading area to wait for him to get back. On her way there the cruised past the marketplace. The vendors were starting to close up and it was pretty quite around the Sanctuary. She caught a glimpse of Tina who looked like she was tallying up points just like she used to do when Dax would help her close up. Dax sighed. She knew that she would have to go back soon and ask her for her job back. 

When Dax got to the loading area, to her luck the Saviors looked like they just got back from a run. They were hustling about trying to get stuff out of the trucks and inventoried so they could have the rest of the night to themselves. She scanned around for Max but couldn't find him. She waited a little bit to see if he would pop up. The other Saviors were avoiding her glance as they moved around her carrying crates into the Sanctuary. 

As she waited, something caught her attention. She caught a Savior by the name of Davey walk around the front of one of the trucks by himself. Normally this wouldn't have stuck out to her, but it was his shifty eyes that made her watch him. She stood next to a stack of crates and continued to watch him. He did a quick glance back and forth and she noticed that he was trying to pull something from the grill of the truck. She let out a gasp when she realized what it was he was holding. It was a plastic baggy filled with a white substance. Dax knew all too well what it was. 

She watched him shove it in the back of his pants pocket and before she could see him do anything else she felt a rough hand tap her shoulder. Jumping and spinning around she was met with a familiar handle bar mustache and a pair of scowling beady eyes. It was Simon. "Just what the hell do you think you're doing here? You got alotta nerve showing your face around here after the shit you pulled the other day."

Dax was trying to catch her breath. He heart was beating a million miles a minute from him catching her off guard and she was trying to mentally tell herself she was OK. As if Simon could hear her mental struggle he softened his expression a bit and held his hands up. "Whoa, whoa, it's OK, relax, just take a deep breath." Dax did as she was told and she felt she was able to ground herself a bit more. Once she got a grip she gave Simon a nod to let him know she was good. Simon let out a breath. "Look kid, I get why you did what you did, you wanted to see your friends but you can't go off doing what you want if its against Negan's orders. Your lucky he was so easy on you."

Dax frowned. "I know, I know I'll talk to Negan eventually...And I am sorry for all the trouble caused...whether anyone believes it or not." Simon studied her for a while as she trained her eyes on the ground, unable to look at him. "Hmp...Well all right then....Well if you wanted to talk to the boss man you just missed him he went up stairs about 20 minutes ago" Simon said breaking the silence. Dax looked up and said "Well actually, I was looking for Max...By any chance do you know where he is?" 

Dax had trouble reading the expression that grew on Simon's face. She caught a flicker of the same expression Kevin and Lacey gave her when they told her about Quinn. Right away she panicked. She started to hyperventilate, she couldn't possibly go through all of this and lose Max too. "Oh God!....No...No..." She cried as she buried her face in her hands and started to shake. 

Simon's eyes went wide in surprise at her reflex and he put his hands on her shoulders. "Dax, Dax calm down, he's not dead, enough of that now" Simon said trying to comfort her. Dax put her hands down and looked up at him. "Ohh thank God!" She breathed as tears of relief streamed down her face. Simon's hardened eyes had a trace of sympathy in them as he watched her reaction. Dax looked him through her tear filled eyes and asked "Where is he Simon?"

Simon took a deep breath as if he were bracing himself for what he was about to tell her. "The day after you had your break down he came to Negan. He told him that he would take your punishment for what you did so you didn't have to, So Negan threw him in the cell."

Dax's jaw dropped and her eyes went wide. Without even saying good bye she took off running back into the Sanctuary. She heard Simon call out to her but she kept moving. Her feet didn't stop until they carried her all the way to the front of Negans room. Panting and out of breath she pounded on Negan's door and waited for an answer.

A moment later, the door opened to Negan's tall frame. He was only wearing a pair of jeans and a grey t-shirt and he has a glass of amber liquid in his hand. When his eyes landed on Dax, he stared at her for a moment as if he wasn't really believing it was her at his door. Dax's breath caught in her throat as she realized that she didn't exactly have a speech or a direct set of words planned for this encounter. 'What the hell am I doing?' She thought as she scanned her brain for words. Negan's surprised expression then turned in a look of amusement. "Dax...To what do I owe the pleasure?" He asked giving her his usual wolfish grin.

Still out of breath she stared at him with wide eyes. She could feel herself start to shake and a bit of the fear that she felt back at Alexandria was returning. Negan cocked an eye brow at her. "Well did you come here to gawk at me or are you going to say something?" he asked impatiently. Dax shook her head as if she were trying to shake off the emotions that were now hitting her like a freight train. "Y..You..You have to let Max out! Please! He doesn't deserve to be in the cells" She stammered out.

Negan pulled back the corners of his mouth and narrowed his eyes at her. His face then pulled in a smile and he said "Why don't you come in so we can discuss this...matter..in private." Dax nodded her head and he stepped aside so she could walk past him. She got a little chill when she crossed him and had a slight panic when she heard him shut the door. Negan noticed her tense up and he went and rested himself up against the couch. Crossing his arms and legs, still with the drink in his hand he said "So...You want me to let Maxy pad out...You say he don't deserve to be in there...Now why would you think something like that?"

Dax's eyes darted from side to side as she tried to formulate an answer. "It wasn't his fault!" She cried. "I was the one who snuck on the truck, it was my idea and my action, punish me, not him! Please" Dax practically begged. "Well, as tempting as that sounds, he's not as innocent as you say...See I couldn't help but notice that that day you were wearing the same clothes he was wearing when I told you that you weren't going, which could only mean he was your accomplice, so the way I see it, he's just as guilty as you are" Negan said after taking a sip of his drink. 

Dax was beginning to feel powerless. She didn't know what else to do. "Look, I'll do whatever you want, I'll take both punishments, you can iron my face...beat me with Lucille, I don't care, just please let him out, I deserve it more then he does." Negan studied her for a while. His eyes were narrowed but he wore an expression that Dax couldn't decipher. "Well, I don't think I would go as far as giving you the iron, that would be a tragic waste, especially in these times when a face as pretty as yours is so hard to come by, and even though Lucille is ALWAYS thirsty, your blood is not the one she craves, I think she likes you" Negan teased. Negan's face then grew serious. "Sit Down" He ordered in a deep voice. 

Dax did as she was told without hesitation and took a seat on the couch furthest away from him. He pushed himself off the arm and stalked over to go stand behind where she was sitting, setting his glass down on the end table. She instantly tensed up when he was out of her sight, which Negan noticed. "Now when you say you'll do anything...you are aware that those words have no limits to them right?" he asked. Dax took a shaky breath. She wanted to get up and run out and take her offer off the table but she couldn't do that to Max. 

"Yes. I am aware" she said through gritted teeth. She could feel it in her gut that she was making yet another huge mistake. She gasped and flinched when she felt Negan place his hands on her shoulders. "Relax doll" He said as he started to give her shoulders a rub. "I have no intention of harming a single hair on that pretty little head of yours...I just want you to relax a little, take a load off, it's OK." he said lowly. He continued to massage her shoulders as he felt the tension in her slack under his grip. Once Dax got over the fact that she was being touched and it was not to hurt her she gave in and let him continue to work on her. As much as she didn't want to admit it, it felt great and even though she was sure this was some kind of dominance tactic she let him keep doing what he was doing. "There now...see? This isn't so bad?"

Once he could feel that she was practically putty in his hands, he gave her shoulders a gently pat and when to go take a seat across from her. He could tell that she was more at ease now then when she walked in here and he was ready to finish the discussion. "So...You say you will do anything...Now I am going to need some time to think about just what I want that anything to be because the possibilities on that are fucking endless" He said giving her a wink. As if Dax were being pulled from a haze she nodded and pulled her face in a frown. "Don't worry doll...I won't make you do anything your not ready for, what kind of an asshole do you think I am?" He said catching her gaze. Without a skipping a beat Dax looked him in the eyes and replied "The kind of asshole that will take my deal and let my friend go." Negan pulled his head back in amusement and stared at her. 

His face pulled up in a wicked grin and he said "Hot diggity dog! This is gonna be fun...As you wish my dear." He walked over to his desk and opened a drawer and pulled out a key. Tossing it her way, Dax caught it in one hand and looked down at it. It was a bronze key with a 727 etched on it. A small smile spilled on Dax's face and she looked up at Negan as if she were making sure he was really being serious. Still wearing the same grin he said "Be up here around 7pm tomorrow night so I can think of what I want to do with you, we will discuss the details then." 

Dax looked back down and the key and then back at him. "Thank you" she breathed out. "Thank you so much!" She said as she stood up to walk out the door to free Max. right when she had her hand on the door She heard Negan's deep voice say "Oh and doll?" She turned around with her hand still on the door to meet his attention. "Don't be late."


	22. Free Bird

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dax goes to retrieve Max out of the cell.

Dax ran so fast once she was out of Negan's room her feet barely padded on the floor. The cells were three floors down from where she was and she did not stop running until she was in an all too familiar hallway. Dax stopped dead in her tracks when she realized where she was and she had to take deep breaths to not freak out. She tried to focus on the numbers of the cells to find the one where Max was locked up. Pressing her eyes closed she swallowed and stepped from door to door as she got closer. 725...726...727. She stood in front of the door and her breath was caught in her throat. 

That Bastard! Sure enough, the cell that Max was holed up in was the same cell where it all happened. Her eyes began to water and there was nothing more she wanted then to bolt out of the hallway but she couldn't do that to Max. She inhaled a deep breath and thought 'It's OK Dax, you can do this...Hes not here...'

Pressing her eyes shut she slowly inserted the key and gave it a rough turn. Opening the door with a creak, light spilled into the cell to reveal Max's frame sitting on the ground. He was sitting in the far corner, hunched over on his knees and his head down. At the sight of Max, Dax was able to tune out where she was. He honestly didn't look too bad, Dax was expecting way worse. He was barefoot just like they kept her at the time and was shirtless only wearing a pair of dirty grey sweat pants. Max slowly pulled his head up and his eyes widened when they met Dax's.

"Dax? Is that really you? Is this the part where I start hallucinating?" he asked her, not fully believing what he was seeing. Dax couldn't help but give a light chuckle at him showing humor at a time like this. She squatted down next to him and put her hands on his face. "No dummy...I'm here to bust you out" She said with a set of tears prickling in her eyes. Max gave her a weak smile which slowly faded. "Dax, I can't go with you...Negan will have both of our heads, I promised him-" Max started but Dax cut him off. "I know I know, I know everything, Negan gave me the key, he's OK with it, come on, we gotta get you out of here" Dax hushed as she grabbed and arm and tried to pull him up. 

Max started to stand up and then abruptly stopped and gave her a serious look. "What did you do?" He knew there was no way Negan would have let her let him out condition free. "I'll explain later, just trust me, I have to get out of here" She said as she continued to pull him up. Max nodded and followed her out of the hallway. The further away from that place she got, the better she felt. 

Once they got to Max's room, Max collapsed on the bed. Dax grabbed a water from a mini fridge in his room and handed it to him. Max took a long drink until the plastic crinkled from suction and then paused. He looked over at Dax and said "So are you gonna tell me what happened?" She kept avoiding his gaze and searched him room for clean clothes. "Here, you should go shower, it will probably make you feel better, I'll go down to the cafeteria to see if I can get you something to eat, you must be starving" She said while putting on an obvious fake smile, still not looking at him.

She threw the clothes on the bed and turned to walk out the door but Max lightly grabbed her by the wrist. she stopped and she was forced to look at him. He showed nothing but concern in his eyes and he said "Dax...Please, just tell me what happened...Why did he let me out?" She bit her lip and her eyes dropped to the floor. She looked back up to him and sighed. "Just trust me OK? I promise, it will be OK, I got this." Max looked at her seriously. "Dax. What. Did. You. Do?"

Dax stood there locking eyes with Max. She didn't know how to tell him that she practically made a deal with the devil after he tried to save her. She knew that it was risky and stupid but she couldn't let Max rot in a cell and take her punishment when it was all her doing to begin with. She pulled her wrist from his hand and quickly stepped out the door. She wasn't ready to tell him yet. 

As she walked down to the cafeteria to get Max some food, she began to think what Negan could possibly have in store for her. She scenerioed everything from peeling potatoes to being thrown out at the gate to deal with walkers. She didn't want to believe that he would hurt her, especially after him being as generous as he has been. She knew he was a brutal man but she figured that if he really wanted to hurt her he would have done it by now. He sure as hell had plenty of reasons to. 

Dax took her time getting back to Max's room dreading the questions that he was going to throw at her. To her relief when she got back he was passed out on the bed snoring. A light smile crept on her face and she dropped the sandwich she got for him on his night stand. She turned off the light and threw a blanket over him. Bending down over his sleeping body, she placed and gentle kiss on top of his forehead and stroked some hair back off of his face. 

When she got back to her room she collapsed face down on her bed and let out a deep sigh. She was very anxious about what Negan had in store for her tomorrow and there was nothing that she could do to ease her mind. She tried playing her guitar for a little while and eventually gave up. She couldn't concentrate on her music and she was beginning to feel frustrated with herself because this was something that never happened. She decided to try to get some sleep so that just maybe she could be well rested for whatever Negan decided to throw at her tomorrow. 

 

(Short chapter, I know...Next chapter is going to be kind of a big one so I want it to have my full focus.)


	23. Dirty Deeds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dax finds out what Negan has in store for her.

It was now 6:30pm and Dax now had half an hour until her 'date' with Negan. She plucked at the fabric of the end of her dress as she admired herself in the mirror. She couldn't see herself showing up in just a t shirt and jeans and she figured she would have more of an upper hand if she dressed up a little. Luckily she was able to borrow a dress from Frankie who seemed excited to dig through her clothes and play dress up. She mostly had black dresses which was what Negan preferred they wore but Dax did not want to put herself in the same category of a wife or even let him think that that possibility was on the table. Just when Dax was about to give up hope and go search the marketplace Frankie pulled out a silky red dress that fit perfectly. 

She had been avoiding Max all day. She couldn't answer his questions just yet. Not until she found out what Negan had in store for her. She felt bad avoiding him but she didn't want him to feel bad about the decision she made. 

She threw on a little bit of make up and let her hair down in waves. After she was done she gave herself a final look in the mirror. Despite her nerves, she felt confidence though her appearance. She couldn't help but think she was hott stuff and she felt sexy in her red dress. It clung in all right right spots of her frame and it was slightly revealing but that had never bothered Dax. There were times where she actually wore less on stage when she performed, though there were few people in this world today that she would be proud to admit that to.

6:55. Show time. 

Dax gave herself one final look over and headed out her door. Walking only a few doors down she had yet again found herself in front of Negan's door. Taking a deep breath, she gave three loud knocks and waited. The door opened up to none other than the infamous Negan who was wearing a deep unsettling grin. "Right on time! Wow...Well look at you...That is what I like to call some damn girl material right there! mhmmm mmm" He said boisterously. Dax stepped in and turned to face him. "Can we just get this over and done with?" She asked impatiently. Negan chuckled. "Anxious are we? Come on doll, what is the fun in that? Can't have a good time without a little foreplay first." 

Crap. She had a feeling he was gonna let her stew for a while. She also had a feeling that this was going to turn into a long night. Dax rolled her eyes and went to go sit on the couch. Negan took a seat across from her and leaned back on the couch with his arms spread out. Still smiling, he just stared at her. Dax stared back with a hardened expression until she couldn't take it anymore. "WHAT?!" She asked rudely. Negan let out a slow menacing chuckle and looked at her with a gleam in his eyes. Lightly shaking his head back and forth he said "Nothing...Just couldn't help but notice that that dress looks awwwfullly familiar."

Dax broke her stare down and looked down at her dress. Playing with a piece of fabric between her fingers she said "So what? I borrowed it from Frankie, what's it to you?" Negan was looking at her as if they were playing a game that he was winning. "Well the fact that you came her all dolled up tells me one of two things....One, your still hot and bothered over me and this is a tactic to try to get in my pants, which I don't blame you or two...You think that if you came here looking like a hott piece of ass, I might just go easy on you." 

Boom. He most certainly had her there but she couldn't let him know that. She was beginning to feel like he could see right through her. Choosing to completely ignore the last part of that statement she scoffed. "Pfft....Me hung up over you? Seriously? From what I remember, I was the one who told you to get the fuck out of my bed and YOU were the one who had to do the walk of shame out of MY room!"

"OOOhhh kitty's got claws, I love it!" Negan roared. Dax rolled her eyes at him again, trying to act like he wasn't getting to her. "Well, if I do say so myself, that dress does a whole lot more for you then it ever did for Frankie...I don't know, something about a red dress on a red head, never really got me going...Even though she is hott as hell..." Negan trailed on. "Am I here so you can talk about your wives or are we going to get down to what you want from me" Dax asked annoyed. Negan gave her a smirk. "Well....we have plenty of time for that, but since you brought them up, come on tell me....If you could have a three some with one of them who would you pick? Come on doll, don't be shy, just between you and me..."

Dax crinkled her nose in disgust. "What the? What the fuck does that have to do with anything? What do you just want a vision to beat your meat to later? Your such a fucking pig!" Dax said getting angry. She almost forgot how nervous she was a moment ago and now he was making her blood boil. "Ohh come on, no need to be like that it's only hypothetical" Negan said rolling his eyes and standing up to grab a drink. 

Once he had his back turned to her mischievous smirk grew on her face. "Well...they are all very beautiful" She said switching over to a sweet voice. "But I feel like Arat is more of my speed." She paused for his reaction. "Yeah well....Arat can be....Wait what?" Negan responded casually at first until her words registered in his head. Turning to face her she was still sitting on the couch wearing a smirk. Letting out a breath of air Negan shook his head slowly. "Well, yet again you surprise me....Damn doll...I'll be honest with you, I did not see that one coming."

It felt good to Dax to be able to finally get one over on him. She flicked her eye brows at him and said "There's a lot you don't know about me." "Well apparently so...Tell me, what is it like batting for both teams?" Negan asked with his glass in his hand as we walked over and took a seat next to her, turning his body to face her. "I never kiss and tell" Dax replied swiftly. "Well as much as that just sucks I have to say that you just got about 50% more interesting....Such a shame really, I feel like I'm just beginning to know the real you."

Dax pulled her eyes in confusion. "What are you talking about?" She asked. Negan set his drink down on the coffee table and clapped his hands, loud enough to make her jump. "Well, I've though long and hard about what I want from you and believe me, it wasn't easy. It took me almost the whole damn day. Originally I thought about making you a wife but then I thought 'Nahh way too predictable' and as much as I would loooveee to have your sweet ass all to myself, it would be such a waste, you have way more value to you than to be just a wife" Negan said speaking matter-of-factly.

Dax was frozen in her seat. As much as she disliked the idea of becoming one of his wives, she wouldn't really have a say in the matter considering Max's freedom was on the line. She would do anything to keep him out of harms way and she wouldn't let him take her punishment and Negan knew that. That is what scared her. She was purely at his mercy and would do anything he said. 

"So I thought, what else could you possibly bring to the table," Negan continued. "Your a decent shot...Not a bad fighter, you can certainly hold your own in a fight...But there are also bunch of other guys here who have those same qualities so there is nothing really special there." 

'Just get on with it already' Dax impatiently thought to herself. "Then I thought about your roots...where you came from. Good ol' Alexandria. Home of Rick the prick and his band of rebels. Now I keep hearing from the grape vine that something suspicious is going on there. I have eyes all over the place and they have been noticing that there is a lot of traffic coming in and out of those gates. Now normally this wouldn't raise any red flags considering their job is to collect shit for me but you see the thing is...almost every time they return empty handed. Now yet again, that could mean two things...Either one, your friends suck at scavenging or two, they are planning something."

Negan studied her expression as if he were looking for something. She had no idea why he was bringing this up to her. Even if she were close with Rick which she sure as hell wasn't, she has been here the whole time. How on Earth would she know if Rick was planning something and out of all people, what could SHE possibly do about it?

"Now that's where you come in doll....This is what's gonna happen. Tomorrow you are going to pack your bags and I am going to personally deliver you back to Alexandria....When you get there you are going to find out just what Ricky boy is planning and then you are going to report back to either me or my men about everything you find out."

"What? What on Earth makes you think that Rick is going to tell me anything? The only people who are involved in anything that happens to Alexandria are the people that he came with, he has never confided in me before so what makes you think he will now?" "Ohh I'm sure you will think of something...I know how...resourceful you can be" Negan said slyly. 

Dax paused for a moment. She couldn't believe what he was asking her to do. She was literally being torn between two worlds. "What if I say no?" Dax asked grimly. Negan's expression slightly darkened. "You know what happens if you say no" He said coldly. Of course. Max. The pull that he had on her is what got her into this mess in the first place. Well sort of. 

"Well what if I don't find out anything...What if they shut me out?" Dax tried to reason. "Ohh trust me doll, I've already thought of that possibility, that is just going to mean that you will have to work extra hard to get in...but...just to give you some incentive, if you do not have any intel for me each time you report back, Maxy pad goes in the cell until you do."

Dax stared at him in horror. As much as it surprised her, she wasn't quite ready to leave the Sanctuary. This place had been her home for the last few months and even though Negan was being an absolute dick to her at the moment, there were people here that she would miss, such as Max. Sure she missed her friends back home to but she had adapted to this life here and it was going to feel weird going back. She didn't even feel like the same person that lived in Alexandria. And now he was asking her to spy on Rick to save Max, It was all too much to take in. She was beginning to feel weak as tears trickled down her face. 

"H..How could you expect this of me?" Dax asked him with hurt in her eyes. "Let's not forget darling, you were the one who said that 'you would do anything', I'm just cashing in on it...Don't worry, as soon as I get an idea of what is going on in Rick's mind, I'll bring you back, I know how much you will miss this" Negan said in a cocky tone gesturing to the Sanctuary.

"How am I even going to be able to report back to you? If I keep leaving, Rick and the others will get suspicious and will know something's up, there is no way this is going to work" Dax pleaded. "Ohh don't worry princess, we will be in touch, I already have some idea's about that" Negan said giving her a wink. 

Dax began to cry. Negan looked at her in disbelief from her reaction. "Please don't make me leave" She tried one more time. "I....I don't want to go back to Alexandria....I want to stay here...This is my home now...Not Alexandria," She said through breaths.

Negan stared at her with an unreadable expression. Yet again, that was another thing he didn't see coming. For the first time he wasn't seeing her as one of Ricks people, he was seeing her as one of his. The cold expression he wore melted into a softer one as he sucked in a deep breath and sighed. For a few moments they didn't say anything. He looked away from her and ran a hand through his jet black hair and slumped against the seat. Turning to look at her he said "Well shit doll...I thought you would have been head over heals to go back to that place, I mean despite the circumstances, I kinda thought I was giving you what you wanted..."

"Things are different now...I don't really know how to explain it but they just...are," She said dropping her gaze. Negan looked at her with concern. He lifted his hand up and gently stroked the side of her cheek, rubbing a stray tear away. "Look, I'm going to be real with you here...I don't want to see you go either but my first priority is the safety of all these people. It is my responsibility and a promise I made to every single person here, I need to know if Rick is planning on fucking that up. That is why I need you...How about this...You go there for a week...See what you can find out...If I get a definite answer about whether or not I have to start planning for a war then you get to come home, Max stays free as a bird and no more strings attached."

Dax still didn't like the idea of having to spy on her old community and she was afraid that Negans suspicions were true but she now had a better understanding of where he was coming from. Even though the feud was between Negan and Rick, there were a bunch more people who were innocent that could get caught up in the cross fire. People like Max, Tina, the Wives, Ford, all the people that she was used to seeing on a daily occasion....Those were all the faces that were popping in her head as she thought about her decision. They all had nothing to do with everything that was going on and some of them might not even know about any of it. There was a good chance that their whole community could be in danger over the testosterone battle of two men. 

"OK...I'll do it...But not for you...For the good of the Sanctuary" Dax finally answered.


	24. Now Your In Deep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok So I really wasn't planning on continuing this story. This was my first fanfic and at the time, I discontinued it because I thought the story line was getting lame and I couldn't figure out a way to dig myself out of it. I had this story posted on another site and recently I had some fans asking me to continue it so I figured why not try again and see if I could take another whack at it and maybe make it better.
> 
> I'm adding more to this last chapter I posted and continuing where I left off so we will see how it goes! Just a fair warning, these next few chapters are going to dip into Dax's drug addiction so if you are sensitive to that sort of thing, this may not be the story for you.

Dax had trouble sleeping that night. She couldn't get over the turn out of her and Negan's conversation and that she actually agreed to go back to Alexandria as a spy on behalf of Negan. 'What was I thinking? There is no way this is going to work, Rick will for sure know something is up'.

Thoughts and feelings flooded her mind. She wondered how long she was even going to be there for, she couldn't fathom how long it would take to get Rick to open up to her when he never confided with her before on any of the decisions made with Alexandria.

Dax was up and out of bed by 6am. She went down to the cafeteria to grab some breakfast and as she was heading back up to her room she ran into Negan coming out of his. She stopped in her tracks and gawked at him, not really sure what to say. Her eyes briefly traveled to Lucille in his hands. For a split second it seemed like he possibly felt the same way, but sure enough his lips slowly curled back into an antagonizing smile. "Well good morning sweet cheeks, your up early...Rough night?" he teased her with a wink. Dax kept a blank expression not really wanting to interact with him and attempted to walk around him with her head down but he blocked her path with Lucille.

Dax almost ran right into the barbed wired bat and she gasped throwing her hands in front of her. "Uh uh uh...now that was very rude. I know the whole reason I brought you here in the first place was to teach you some manners so here is one, when someone says good morning to you the appropriate response is to say it back". 

Oh yeah he was definitely trying her patience this morning.

Dax really wanted to stomp on his toe and tell him to fuck off but she really just wanted to get away from him at this point and the quicker way to do that was to just comply. Negan leaned his head closer to her face and made a hand gesture as if he were waiting for her response. Dax rolled her eyes and huffed. "Good morning Negan" She finally said with absolutely no enthusiasm.

"There now!" He said in a way that made her jump. "See, that wasn't so hard now was it, look at you, you're finally starting to learn! I'm proud of you doll" he boasted while throwing his other arm around her shoulders and giving her a squeeze. Dax tensed up and held her hands against his chest as if she were trying to push him away. "Ok, Ok, can I go now?" she whined while scrunching her face. "Oh come on doll, where could you possibly have to go this early, I tell you what...Why don't you come down, have breakfast with me and talk for a bit...I'd like to kick back with you at least one more time before I take you back to Alexandria."

He couldn't be serious. Dax wanted to be as far away from him as possible and he was not making it easy. "Well I don't, so if you will excuse me..." Dax said rather bluntly as she tried to walk the other direction to her room, but Negan curled his arm around her tighter so she couldn't leave. Dax got a whiff of his aftershave. "You are most certainly not excused, I'm pretty sure I said that I wanted to have breakfast with you, I know we literally just had a conversation about rudeness so I suggest you come up with a better answer than that." He said with a smile on his face but challenge in his eyes.

Dax didn't want to piss him off any further but she wasn't in the mood for an awkward sitting with Negan so she said "I just came back from breakfast and I really just want to go back to my room right now, I'm sorry but I really just want to be alone right now" as politely as she could. Negan drew in a deep breath and as he released it his smile left his face. He looked away and dropped Lucille so she could walk past. He actually looked a little disappointed. Dax said a quick thank you before walking past him. As she was fumbling with her key Negan called her name. Dax paused and looked up and as his back was still turned to her he said "Be at the loading gates by 3 today. Be ready to go back to Alexandria, don't make me come find you". 

Dax didn't respond and quickly let herself in her room.

Sure enough, 3pm rolled around and Negan was out by the loading area, getting ready for his trip with Dax to Alexandria. The saviors were running around among him getting locked and loaded, preparing themselves just in case Alexandria put up a fight. Negan causally strolled back and forth, occasionally swinging Lucille around as he waited for Dax. He was beginning to grow impatient. 

"Si...What time is it?" He grunted, his eyes never leaving the exit doors. Simon checked his watched and flicked his eyebrows in interest. "...It's 10 after 3" He said as he eyes Negan. Negan let out a sigh. "I'll give her 5 more minutes, She better be here before then, if not I'm going in and dragging her out" Negan said impatiently as he began to pace. He was growing more and more angry by each minute that ticked by. 

Sure enough, 5 minutes went by and no Dax. "Son of a bitch" Negan sighed as he let out a dramatic ever roll, leaning back on his heels. He lifted Lucille up to his shoulder and stomped to the entrance of the Sanctuary, cursing Dax's name. 'Why can't anything ever be easy with this girl' He thought to himself. Stomping up the stairs to her room, he banged on the door with Lucille, hard enough to make the wall shake. "Oh Daxie" He taunted. "You and I had a date, remember"?

There was no answer. "I know you are not ignoring me...I'm giving you till the count of five, if you don't open this door then you leave me no choice but to drag your ass out" His voice boomed in the hallway. "1...2...3" He started to count, but she still did not come out. He rolled his eyes and started to undo the chain on his belt loop that had the key to her door on it. "Don't you dare let me get to five" He said as he fished through all the keys to get to hers. "4...5...OK doll, can't say I didn't warn ya".

Negan stuck the key in and turned it, opening Dax's door. He stepped in and took a look around. She was no where to be found. Negan frowned and took one more look around. "Shit" he muttered under his breath. He was in no mood for a game of hide and seek and he could feel the heat of anger beginning to burn inside him. He shut the door and locked it and walked back down to another set of doors. He knew just the person who would know where to find her.

He ended up in front of another door and rapped his fist against it. "Oohh Maxy pad...Come on out, I wanna have a word with you" Negan said with a smirk. He heard some light shuffling on the other side and a groggy Max opened up the door. His eyes went wide the moment he saw it was Negan and he straightened up his posture. "Uhh...Hey...What's up?" Max asked, clearly very uncomfortable in his presence. 

Negan rudely barged in his room, leaving Max no choice but to get out of his way, and he looked around the room. "Uhh is there something I can help you with"? Max asked, confused by his sudden intrusion. "Actually there is...Where is Dax" Negan said, getting right to the point as he continued to look around the room. He scrunched his nose as the messiness of Max's room. "Dax? I thought she was suppose to be with you?" 

"Yeah well, she decided to make other plans...When was the last time you saw her?" Negan asked, picking up one of the many shirts on the floor with the barbs of Lucille and holding it up. "I saw her...." Max began to say but then hesitated. Negan caught on and snapped his head in Max's direction. "Uh...two days ago...When I got out..."

Negan's jaw tensed and he walked up to Max. "You sure about that?" He asked, not buying it. Max was wide-eyed and twitchy, obviously not a good liar and Negan could practically smell it on him. "Well...Uhh...She stopped by around noon earlier...She just wanted to say goodbye to me but that's it" Max stuttered. 

Negan narrowed his eyes and continued to bore his expression into Max. "Oh is that so...Well that's a lot different than two days ago...What else did she say"? Negan continued to question him. Negan was in Max's personal space now and he could see him starting to sweat. "I highly suggest you answer me soon boy...Because I will find out where she went and IF I find out that you know more then you are telling me...Well lets just say no one will be eager to jump in your boots any time soon."

Max swallowed hard and hesitated. He took a deep shaky breath and nodded his head. "OK...She came by earlier, not long after she ran into you. She was really freaked. She really didn't want to go back to Alexandria and she didn't feel that she had it in her to do what you wanted her to do...She asked me if I had anything to take the edge off of her nerves."

Negan's expression darkened. "And what did you tell her" He said through gritted teeth. Negan remembered how badly she wigged out when he tried to give her pain pills and what she said about how she used to have a drug problem. His grip on Lucille tightened and Max tensed up. "Whoa whoa whoa, I didn't give her shit man, I don't dabble in that shit anymore, I tried to talk her down and I thought she seemed OK when she left."

Negan grabbed Max by the undershirt he was wearing and pushed him up against the wall. "Well obviously she was not OK because she wasn't at the docks, she wasn't in her room and she is not with you so where the hell is she?!" Negan roared. "I don't know! like I said she seemed OK, I wouldn't have let her leave if she wasn't!" Max said in panic. 

Negan studied him for a moment to see if he was being genuine and he slowly let him go. He took a deep breath to ground himself and straightened up. "OK then...Do you have any idea where she could be?" He asked more calmly this time. "No I don't but I want to help you find her...I'm worried that she might have found the wrong person to give her what she wanted, she sounded desperate when she first came to me...Do you know anyone here who might have dealt drugs before?" Max asked as he pulled a shirt over his head.

Negan sighed in frustration. "That is like looking for a needle in a fucking haystack...Everyone here has had their issues." "Well do you know anyone who has dealt with any kind of drugs recently?" Max asked, putting his boots on. Negan was about to shut him down again but a thought popped in his mind that made him stop himself. "You know...I think I may just have a lead...Let's go" He ordered and began to walk out of Max's room.


	25. Island In the Sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OK so I added a bit more to the last chapter that was written...If you are still following this story you might want to go back and re-read the last one because you will be lost if you don't. I also put a note in there explaining why I have not updated in a while.

"When yer onnn holiday....Can't find word ta say....Mmm things...Come to you....An I wanna feel it to..." 

Dax was laying on the floor of Davy's room wrapped up in a blanket of her own toxic bliss. Davy was on the bed along with his friend Keith who was passed out on the floor across the room from her. She was lit. She managed to track Davy down after Max shot her down and she blackmailed him into giving her drugs, threatening to tell Negan and Simon about his little side business. It didn't take much to convince him, he almost seemed happy to do it for her. It had been so long since she had done anything, the drugs hit her system fast and hard, causing her to loose all feeling and sense of reality. 

She was feeling giddy and warm and continued to sing nonsense. "On an on...The sun...We play....Have funnnn...Makes me feel so fine....Control my brain..." She mumbled a tune and then would burst into a fit of giggles. They started off with weed first but that wasn't the kind of edge Dax was looking for. When Davy saw that she still wasn't satisfied, he then pulled out a similar baggy that she had originally seen him with when she found out his secret and a needle. "Now it's a party" Dax said as she began to roll up her sleeves. 

Now she was laying on a dirty floor in someones room who was practically a stranger to her in nothing but her bra and a pair of pants while mumbling incoherent lyrics. How she ended up like this? She had no clue. At the moment she didn't even know what was going on.

BOOM BOOM BOOM!

"The devil is knocking" Dax whispered and then burst into another fit of giggles, rolling around on the floor. BOOM BOOM BOOM!

It happened again, though Dax just thought it was part of her hallucination. She felt warm and tingly all over and no longer could remember the reason that got her here in the first place. She played with the colors and specks of light that danced across her vision and looked up at the ceiling, smiling through hooded eyes. 

She could hear commotion around her but it wasn't fully registering in her brain, or maybe she just couldn't care enough to pay attention. She was some how magically pulled into an upright position and was being shaken violently, but she was still not phased. She felt a pressure around her jaw and even though she could feel no pain, it was firm enough to make her drool. Her eyes rolled around in her sockets and she couldn't focus on one thing in particular with all the beautiful colors she was seeing. Every now and then she would catch flashes of a face that looked like Negan's but it was highly distorted. 

Negan and Max were able to track down where Dax ended up through Negan's wife Amber. Negan remembered that she liked to dabble around in drugs every now and then but turned a blind eye to it because it actually made her nicer to be around. She didn't have a serious problem and she was still functional so he would usually just leave her alone and pick another wife until she sobered up. Amber did have a nasty streak in her and Negan hinted that Dax was going to be in a lot of trouble when he found her so Amber had no problem giving her up and telling him who her guy was. 

It was a bonus that Dax just so happened to be in the first place he looked, in Davy's room. "Looks like a Motley Crew video in here" Negan huffed as he looked around the room, seeing the place was a mess and there were two grown men passed out. Negan didn't notice Dax at first, being that she was on the other side of the bed. Max was the one that walked around and found her laying on the floor, face up, shirtless, and incoherently singing. "Dax!" Max called out to her as he hurried over. Still calling out her name he scooped her up from behind and sat her up against his chest, shaking her and moving hair out of her face. 

Negan frowned and stomped over to her. When he was in front of them he squatted down and roughly grabbed her by the jaw , examining the shape that she was in. Her eyes rolled around and she drooled on his hand, unable to focus on him. She let out a small laugh and continued singing. "Shit" Negan groaned, not knowing what to do with her. "Dax...Come on Dax...Snap out of it...It's gonna be OK" Max cooed as he rubbed her arm. 

Max looked down and noticed a set of track marks from where she stabbed herself with a needle and he brought it to Negan's attention. Negan sighed angrily and said "No...It is most certainly not OK" 

He grabbed her by the sides of her face while she was still in Max's arms and tried to get her to focus on him and what he was saying. "Here is what's gonna happen" He said gritting his teeth. "We are going to take you down to Carson's and get you sobered up and then we are going to have a LONG discussion about what this was and what is going to happen next".

Dax giggled and reached around his arms, knotting her hands into his collar, still singing...Obviously not paying attention to a word he was saying. If Negan wasn't annoyed before, he sure as hell was pissed now. "We'll run away together...Spend some time forever...We'll never feel bad anymore..."

Negan dropped his head down and fake chuckled and then grabbed her by her underarms and ripped her up with him to his full height, practically taking her off her feet. "Hey! Easy with her! She can't stand" Max protested as he stood up, trying to help him juggle Dax. "Doonttt carrree" Negan said passively as he tried to reach down to pick up her shirt while cradling her under his arm. She was like dead weight to him and he managed to slip the shirt over her before she fell back to the ground like a sack of potatoes, hitting her head on the corner of the bed. 

"Shit! Dax!" Max cried out as he tried to catch her. "Owww...Get off me!" Dax cried as her hand went to her head dramatically. She tried to shrug out of Max's grip and Negan lost his patience again and grabbed her by the wrist, roughly pulling her up from the ground. "Doll, now is not the time you want to fight me...You are faaarrr up shit's creek without a paddle" Negan growled, attempting to drag her. 

When she wouldn't budge Negan fully lost his temper and cursed while grabbing Lucille and taking out his rage with her on a desk that Davy's friend was pasted out next to. Neither of the men moved but at the moment they were of no concern to Negan. He would let them sweat it out when they sobered and deal with them later. 

Max shook his head while Negan destroyed the desk and put his head under Dax's arm and hoisted her up to her feet. She had absolutely no strength in her legs so he scooped her up under her knees and carried her out bridal style. Once Negan was about to take back control of his emotions he followed closely behind Max, his boots echoing throughout the hallways.

"Mehhh...Stoppp...I...I I wanna go to the circus" Dax rambled on as she began to twist and turn in Max's grip while Max fought to hold onto her. "Ohh this is a circus alright" Negan growled and rolled his eyes. Max continued to struggle and Negan finally stood in front of him and roughly grabbed Dax out of his arms. "Enough of this shit" He grunted as he took her. During the transfer, her legs slipped from their arms and she fell into Negan, gripping onto his jacket for support, pinning him against the wall as he tried to steady her. 

"Hmmm....Your cute" She said with a grin through half open eyes. "Yeah yeah yeah...Nice try but it's going to take a lot more than that to butter my ass up" Negan said as he attempted to reach down to grab her legs. Dax danced around him, still clutching onto him as she nuzzled into his neck. Negan finally grabbed her with Max's help and the whole way there she kept running her hands over the stubble on his chin while making odd purring noises. "Mmm...I love pubic hair" She said before snorting out a laugh. Negan couldn't help but crack a smile, under any other circumstances it would have been funny. 

"Girl you are high as a fucking kite...How much shit did you fucking take?" He asked her and she shuffled her in his arms. "Mmm...Not enough" She replied as she closed her eyes. "Yeah...Beg to fucking differ" Negan growled.

"She's not herself right now...You gotta understand-" Max tried to explain but Negan cut him off. "Hell fucking no she is obviously not her fucking self right now, do you really think I don't see that?! And she will be in a world of trouble when she comes to" Negan yelled as he neared Casron's office. 

Before Max could say another thing, Negan turned to face him and said "Look Maxy pad, I appreciate your help but I got it from here...Your assistance is no longer needed and I suggest you say goodbye to Dax here because it may be a bit before you see her again, I'll be sure to let you know how she's doing" Negan said bluntly. 

Max stared at him for a moment, his mouth open and dumbfounded, not believing that he was being this rude towards him after he just helped him. "Are you fucking serious right now?" was all Max could say. Normally he wouldn't have spoken to Negan this way but he was angry that he was able to talk to him that way after everything that had just happened. "As a heart-attack" Negan said before walking into Carson's office and slamming the door in his face.


	26. Spewing Venom

Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep.

Dax stirred away to the sound of beeping noises around her. She had a really bad headache and she moved her hand to go rub her temples to relieve the tension but she couldn't pull her hand up to her face. She opened her eyes to see that she was in a hospital bed in Carson's office and she was hand cuffed to a bed with an IV sticking out of her other arm.

As if she thought that she could magically break free she tried to pull her arm up a few times but it was clear that she wasn't going anywhere. "Uhh" She moaned as she rolled over the best she could. She was feeling very groggy and like how she used to feel when she would get car sick when she was younger. Her head was spinning and she felt hot and like the blankets on her were suffocating her. 

She kicked her legs up to get them off and started to call out. "Hey!....Hey! Anybody here?"

There was a brief silence until she started to hear heavy foot steps coming down the hall. Dax tried to sit up the best she could with being as restrained and as nauseous as she was and froze when she saw an angry face round the corner of her room. It was Negan. 

Instantly all the moisture left her mouth and she could feel her skin go white at the sight of him. By the look on his face, she knew she was in big trouble. "Well hello there junkie" He said as he casually took a seat next to her on a rolling chair. Dax did her best to scoot away from him on the bed, her eyes never leaving his. "Glad to see your up...Can I get you anything? Maybe some more Heroine? Crack? Hmm...No? How about a little meth? I guess we could see what we could scrape up from the bottom of the sink" He teased. 

Dax's fearful look turned cold and then angry. She knew there were no excuses for what she did but she was starting to really get sick of his shit.

"You know what...Fuck you...Fuck you and your self righteous, self absorbed attitude...You know you probably weren't shit back in the old world and you are going to sit here and judge me because I fucked up? You can seriously get the fuck out of my face right now because this is not my first rodeo...This is not the first time I fell off the wagon and yes, I totally get that this is all on me but you weren't exactly the most sober friendly face to deal with, with all your mind games and your desperate pathetic need to do what ever it takes and put who ever the fuck you need to put in jeopardy to be king." Dax lashed out.

Negan looked at her like she just slapped him in the face. He turned his head to the side and tightened his jaw, trying as hard as he could to not strangle her. No one has ever spoken to him like that before and he didn't really know what to make of it. "You know, I'm going to write that nasty mouth of yours off as a side effect of what ever the fuck you shot yourself up with. I suggest you apologize unless you want to spend the rest of your recovery in a cell"

"What the fuck ever Negan...I honestly don't care anymore. Throw me in a cell! Let guys come in and fucking rape me! Knock me over the head with Lucille...I don't fucking CARE! I am done pussy footing around trying to make you happy. I would rather rot in a cell then have to sit here for another minute while you bad mouth me and tell me that I am nothing because I had a relapse and shot up...I am sorry I am not perfect and I have trouble dealing with things more than most people...Go ahead and make fun of me if that is what really makes you feel better about yourself!" Dax spat with venom in her words, crying towards the end of her rant. 

She tried to turn over away from him to hide her face while she cried but was unable to from the handcuff that was around her wrist. She began to pull at it and let out a growl in frustration and pounded the bed angrily. 

"Whoa whoa whoa, easy there Dax" Negan tried to soothe her when he realized how worked up she was getting. He had this whole speech planned out that he was going to give her about how she shouldn't have went right to using and most of that speech was laced with him pointing out how weak that was and insults but in that moment he decided that maybe this wasn't the best way to go about this. She was clearly upset with herself that she had relapsed and deep deep down he did feel bad knowing that he was part of the cause. 

Negan's look of anger dropped and he ran a hand down his face and sighed. He then tried a softer approach. "Look Dax...I'm not going to make you go back to Alexandria...I thought about it and I shouldn't have asked you to do that to your friends...I'll find another way to get what I need...In the meantime, I want to rest up an focus on feeling better. I'm going to take you off the point system for now and you are going to stay with me for a bit until I know I can trust that you won't go searching for ways to get lit..."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night" She replied, still not looking at him.

Negan's face slowly turned into a frown and then he gritted his teeth. "Despite what you may fucking think, I fucking care about you, alright? I know I don't have the best way of showing it but yes, I would be pretty fucking crushed if you vanished from the face of the Earth...I'll admit I have never had to deal with any one who has had a drug problem and I don't exactly know how these things work so I'm gonna do the best I fucking can here. So here is what's gonna happen...I'm gonna give you a day or two to rest up in here and try to regain the part of your mind that you have obviously fucking lost and then you are going to come back with me and I am not going to let you out of my sight...We will see how you do and you will return to your life only when I feel you are up to it. To give you a little incentive, you WILL not see Max, or Tina, or anyone else if you continue to back talk me the way you just did. I am going to let that dirty little mouth of yours slide...For now...But so help me God, if you ever fucking talk to me like that again, I will not hesitate to throw your ass over my knee in front of who ever the fuck is around to witness...Do I make myself fucking clear?"

Dax looked at Negan as if he just brought her back down to reality. She couldn't believe that she just talked to him like that and she was surprised that she wasn't being dragged to a cell this instant. She nodded her head and swallowed hard, not wanting to take any more chances by angering him. "Answer me" Negan growled, not satisfied by her response. "Yes...Yes...You are clear" She said with wide eyes. 

Negan eyed her for a moment and then he finally replied "Good...Now I'm gonna have someone bring you up something to eat, which you WILL eat every bite of and then Carson is gonna give you a look over. I don't know if you realize it but you have been out for two days".

Dax shook her head in surprise. "Two days?!" She exclaimed. "Yeah...Two days...I'll be back to check on you in a bit" He said before he got up and made his way to the door. Dax starred at the ground, dumbfounded at how much time she had lost. "Negan" She called out to get his attention. Negan stopped but didn't turn around. "....I'm sorry...I..I..I didn't..." She said trying to find the words. "Don't worry 'bout it...Just do better next time" He said before leaving her to wallow away with her thoughts. 

Even though Dax truly felt every word that she said to him, she felt bad that she fired off the way she did. She knew that Negan has never had to deal with someone quite like her before and addiction was something that was hard, even with people who have had experience. It must have been scary for him when she didn't wake up right away and she knew that he truly did care about her because if he didn't then he wouldn't have been here and he wouldn't have tried to get her to want to stay sober, and that really meant something to her. After his speech, she saw him in a different light and it made her want to stay clean and not disappoint him again.


End file.
